Earlier this week, I answered a good question from a new youth worker:

“In the past at camp, the adults and youth directors either permitted or looked away from what I consider hazing. Do you have a list or a standard of what is and is not considered hazing?”

This is great! Through the years, I’ve wrestled with tons of guys . . . a handful of times things spun out of control (sorry @jakerutenbar), but most of the time it’s great ministry. We’ve never had any regular “hazing,” but there’s been plenty of horsing around.

We’ve never had a list or standard, this is something we’ve always handled verbally or “culturally” (new leaders learning through watching and experiencing). After thinking about some conversations I’ve had with some of our leaders (you know who you are), here are some questions that I’d consider to keep things from getting too wild:

1. When it’s all over, will the kid feel more accepted and belonging or rejected and humiliated?

2. When it’s all over, what would the kid’s parents say if they were standing there?

3. Is this something you’d do to your own kid, better yet, how would you feel if someone else did this?

These aren’t perfect questions; and it takes discernment to know the difference between good fun and too far. It’s more my style to outline boundaries and goals rather than come up with a detailed list of do’s and don’ts.

Anything can be circumvented and justified, and it takes leadership to make course corrections along the way. If “hazing”/rough housing is done with a good spirit, if things do get out of hand, it’s much easier to work through an apology and build restoration.

THANKS ADAM for the great question!

+mattmcgill