My wife is in the middle of taking her longest trip ever since we started to have kids. All told she’ll be gone a grand total of 18 days. Last February when I was in Kenya I called her excitedly and shared with her what I was experiencing and said, “You HAVE to get here as soon as possible.” Little did we know was that in 5 short months she would be calling me from the same place that conversation took place.

So, I’m taking 100+ hours of stored up vacation time and doing some Dad Minus Mom Plus Four (I should try to get a TV show – the only problem is that we have a good marriage) while she’s away. Here’s a little glimpse into my world, now just 8 days in:

• 5 loads of laundry
• 167 miles driven in the minivan
• 13 Instant Streaming kids titles on Netflix
• 3 DVD rentals
• 2 free family fun movies at Regal
• 1 trip to the beach
• 7 trips to the pool
• 1 small investment in a backyard water-propelled Buzz Lightyear flying spaceship
• 11 runs of the dishwasher
• 4 trips to the store
• 4 runs to the park
• 1 run back to the park to pick up forgotten sandals
• 1 nap
• 9 boxes of sugar cereal
• $38 in fruit (something to tell mom about when she calls from Africa)
• 5 gallons of milk
• 6 fast food stops (1 Taco Bell, 1 Del Taco, 2 McDonald’s, 1 Chipotle, 1 Chick-Fil-A)
• 1 meal from a neighbor who felt sorry for the kids eating habits

And these numbers, along with me being far outside my normal routine and duties, has led to a couple of observations as well:

• My youngest son produces about 1/2 of the laundry.
• My daughter produces almost the other half.
• My 2 oldest sons produce curiously little laundry. Especially in the undergarment department.
• Cookie Crisp isn’t quite as good as you remember as a kid.
• Potty training sounds awesome in a Twitter, tough in real life.
• We devour an entire box of cereal and nearly a gallon of milk at breakfast.
• All that laundry, not a single sock.
• The washer and dryer should be in sync, instead of the washer ending 6 minutes first.
• I hate Play Doh.

JG