Subscribe to the Network3 Reasons to Remove a Student from Your Small Group
We wish it didn’t have to happen, but from time to time it simply has to – you’ve got to kick a kid out of your small group. Later this week I’ll try to post some reasons NOT to remove a student from your small group, but here’s a few reasons someone just might have to go:
Disruption
Sometimes the entire group suffers because of the misbehavior of one, and that simply can’t be. Now don’t penalize a student for not having the social skills in a small group setting, but coach them along on how to be an effective participant in a group environment. If that doesn’t work and a student is still a consistent source of major distraction, it might be time to let them go.Conflict
Conflict can be healthy, but at some point it again might come at the expense of the group. If you’re having conflict with the parents and their expectations of the small group, or with the student with his or her expectations of the group, a possible resolution might be to ask them to join another group. Hopefully you’re not a conflict avoider, because a little conflict is good. Be sure not to flinch as soon as someone airs a concern, but if the conflict escalates without expected resolution, it might be time to move along.“Fit”
This one is ambiguous, and if we’re not careful it could become the “catch all” to remove a student on not much more than a whim. But there is something to be said for the way a student fits into the group – usually they know it and so do you, so a conversation giving them permission to seek out a new group where they fit better is probably in order.Be careful with this one.
We all have “that one” kid in our small group – so be patient and long-suffering and ask God to make it clear if a student genuinely needs to be removed from your group. The goal must always be to “repot” a student into a group where they can connect and grow.
JG
Although not common, the greatest offense that I’ve had to remove a student for is breaking confidentiality. We make it clear before small groups that this offense takes one occurrence to get them removed. I hate to do it but the cost to the group is too high when this happens.
great post Josh. One question I have is how do you smoothly remove a student from a small group without getting parents up in arms and that student up in arms? We have a situation in one of our SGs that is out of hand. The SG leader does a good job trying to minimalize the impact but this student just eats up attention and drives away students. Any suggestions?
[...] think there are some legitimate reasons for removing a student from your small group – and there are some other reasons that maybe feel [...]