Subscribe to the Network7 Ways for Your Youth Ministry to Undermine the Family
Josh on September 11th, 2008
Been thinking about some big picture do’s and don’ts when it comes to supporting the family with your student ministry. While our parent ministry is still in it’s infancy, here’s 7 things you shouldn’t do if you want to begin to support the home.
- Keep students out every night of the week. How many programs does your youth ministry need? The easy answer – less.
- Keep parents in the dark. How much communication does your youth ministry need? More.
- Keep secrets from moms and dads. There might be a window where a parent doesn’t know something as a student makes a decision on telling them, and there is a level of confidence a volunteer might have between student and leader. But keeping secrets, when revealed, will only make them call you into question on what else is going on.
- Keep students out later than you said they would be. You’re upset when you have to wait for a parent to pick up the one last straggler from the parking lot. Never mind the fact that you were and hour late coming back from the overnighter.
- Reaffirm the student’s belief that their parents are out of touch. Parents are the parents, you are not. Help guide them back to the truths from the home, even when the student questions the validity of the source.
- Keep the cost of events high. Don’t drive people away from the discipleship process by selecting a calendar full of expensive stuff. If spiritual growth track in your student ministry costs more than a year of private school, you might have a problem.
- Publish dates, then change them. Repeat if necessary. Once the calendar is locked and loaded, it shouldn’t be up for discussion. on the rare occassion you have to change something, explain it, own up to having to make a change, and do your best to avoid it ever again.
JG
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Thanks for this. As the mom of a 16-year-old and a 20-year-old, I’ve seen youth ministries that perpetuate the notion that parents aren’t “cool,” and that it’s not cool to enjoy being with your parents. What a load of crap.
Both my girls have always liked being with me as a person and I deeply resent leadership that tries – consciously or unconsciously – to undermine that in an attempt to be “hip” and “cool.” Parents are dorks, traditional church services are boring, the only cool thing is youth group. That’s just wrong.
While I realize not all homes are healthy, honoring parents is a biblical value that should be promoted, not ignored or scorned.