Simply Urban Ministry | Urban Youth Ministry

leneitaMore Posts In The Wake Of the Difficult.. How to Talk To Youth About Tragedy

As pictures of Oklahoma have crossed my screen, I realize we are just now digging out of the wake of Hurricane Sandy here in the Northeast. Friends in Massachusetts and Newtown, CT are still putting their lives back together. There are times when “tragedy” doesn’t make the news. A good friend of mine almost lost his life last week in a freak accident. A pregnant wife at the end of our street lost her husband this past Fall to a stray bullet. Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen. We are left so often dealing through our own questions while simultaneously answering them for our students.

What Do We Say?

1. There Are No Easy Answers

The “Why” questions come fast and furious. It is important to let students wrestle through the “tough stuff.” Let them know you struggle to understand as well. However, we live in a world with sin and evil. There is a true adversary “seeking who he can devour.” This isn’t “God’s fault.” In the end we will never fully understand how this war for our souls works. It is important that students understand this isn’t a grand punishment. There are times when all we can do is listen to the hurt. We must allow them to grieve and express their anger. It isn’t helpful to tell them “not to feel something.” What is vital is we don’t allow them to stay in this place.

2. There Is Still Hope

In the midst of Sandy a good friend of mine reminded me, “God is still good, it’s circumstances that are bad.” It is hard to imagine that God would “allow” tragedy to happen. Our focus needs to be on the truth that He still loves us. He is fighting for us. It is a reminder that this broken world is not our “true home.” Christ tells us while we are here there will always be hurt, trials, and sin. Jesus is the answer in the midst of all that goes wrong. It doesn’t mean we stop grieving. However, we must remember there is still hope even in the worst situations. We must remind students He never leaves us or abandons us, even in the middle of the “bad.”

3. It’s Alright To Cry & Ask for Help

Comfort, prayer, and support are great ways to show the love of Christ in terrible situations. When you are stunned in the midst of a tragedy you tend to think you “must be strong,” or fall apart completely. Let them talk it out. Let them know strong emotion in the midst of this is normal. Hold them, and show them love.

I am not going to claim to understand tornadoes, hurricanes, bombs and gunmen. All I know is when we made the choice to disobey the Lord in the garden and know the difference between good and evil, innocence was lost. Christ came to redeem our souls, but that doesn’t negate all sin in the world. What I do know in the midst of the questions He remains Lord of all whose love is unfailing. He is the one we have to look to for hope. This is who I offer students. Sometimes there are no words at all. That’s alright too.

tragedy

Add Comment May 22, 2013

leneitaMore Posts What Is “Urban?” Brian Berry Gives Us HIS Definition!

I met Brian Berry author of the new book, “Criticism Bites,” and Generation Ministries Pastor of Journey Community Church, at the SYMC conference just this year. Brian is one of those people you hear tremendous things about in the youth ministry community and can’t wait to meet. I was immediately engaged by his humility and some shared stories of family in ministry together. He has a passion to see the next generation grow in their relationship with Christ. As San Diego is a hub of the mixed suburban/urban blend Jeffrey and I have been seeing, it seemed natural to ask Brian his thoughts on the, “new urban,” we have been discussing.

1. How would you define “urban youth or family?”

I would have defined Urban youth or family as someone who lives in an urban area. Someone who likely lives within an area where owning a car is optional because most of what they do or need can either be arrived at via public transportation or is within walking distance. In my mind, that’s what an “urban” setting is. Essentially, those are the opposites of what makes a “suburban” community different in that things are rarely within walking distance an almost everyone owns a car or two to get them from point a to point b. You can find both “rich” and “poor” in both urban and suburban settings, so I think that distinction is a bit of a myth. In every city or town there are neighborhoods (and at times even floors of a building) that tend to gather the extremes of these socio-economic demographics.

2. In today’s shifting culture we are seeking to redefine urban. What would you if we said the “new urban youth is one living in a survival mindset?”

I think if “a new urban youth is one living in a survival mindset”, then I think it’s accurate to say that “everybody’s urban.” We are all trying to survive amidst the pressures of a fast paced, ever-changing, and increasingly global world. The days when the city had it’s news and the suburbs had theirs are gone and those lines are now blurring. Computer technology, the cell phone, and the ability to easily travel between continents on planes and such make this a new age where cultures merge and what we have in common is easier to identify: like a survival mindset.

3. Do you have students living in survival mode in your group?

I think every student in my ministry is trying to survive. Even my own kids are trying to survive in a world of peer pressure, expectation for success, and assumptions about the “American Dream”. Every student in my ministry who is from a divorced home and has to travel back and forth to 2 houses each week is in survival mode, often trying to make sure they have the right clothes and books for school at the right house on any given day. Survival mode is the family that has recently come to faith and is now trying to fix their parenting after years of living life around a different center. In some ways- their desperation for survival is the healthiest thing they have going for them right now- their cry for help and a savior is life-altering.

4. How would you/do you approach them?

I think every family and student in my ministry should be approached the same way. I try to come with a posture of listening and I’m “for you”. Then seek to find agreements in goals and vision where their dreams are God’s dreams. Then once agreement is reached and we both agree that what God wants for them is what they want for themselves, then that’s where we begin to work towards thriving in Jesus and not just surviving in the jungle of life.

As we continue to post these thoughts on “urban” from across the country our hope would be you are seeing a pattern emerge. Answers are becoming consistent no matter the demographic or socio-economic status.

What are your thoughts as we explore this topic?

More about Brian:

BRIAN BERRY is a proven veteran of student ministry. He serves as the generation ministries pastor at Journey Community Church near San Diego, California, where he works directly with the high school ministry and oversees a staff that is responsible for infants through teens. Brian is also a frequent blogger, writes and teaches for youth workers, and is the author of both As for Me and My Crazy House and Criticism Bites. He speaks at various conferences, camps, and retreats for a variety of audiences. He is married to Shannon, and they have five kids.

Add Comment May 20, 2013

leneitaMore Posts When It Seems Like The Kids Are the Parents…

“Movie Poster Freaky Friday”

Remember the movie, “Freaky Friday?” It’s the one where Mom and daughter mysteriously switch bodies for a day. They walk a mile in the other shoes to understand “what it’s like,” to be the other. In the “real world” though this swapping of roles is not helpful. It isn’t about catching a perspective, instead it seems as if the student is acquiring the responsibility necessary to run a household. Whether I am in urban, suburban or rural settings I meet more and more kids who are put in a position where they seem to be parenting themselves.

My daughter once had a friend she was “jealous” of. The friend had no boundaries, she could pretty much go and “do” whatever she pleased. To my daughter this seemed like a joy. However, one time in sitting down with the young woman I also found she made sure she got herself to school, ate dinner, and had her basic needs met. It seemed as if her parents were ghosts and she was raising herself. They were there, but consumed with their own lives to a point, where they were barely parenting. I wanted to march over and tell the parents they needed to start guiding this young woman. For what this Freaky Friday scenario was creating was an emotionally lost little girl. Chances are if you haven’t encountered a “Freaky Friday,” type of parent/child switch, you will soon.

What do we do in these types of situations?

1. Get to Know the Parent.

Come up with a way that you can have an interaction with your parents on a weekly basis. The goal is to move beyond introductions to be able to speak to them about deeper things. One friend does a great job of this. He is in a church environment where parents come to pick up their kids. He makes sure each parent gets a “touch” every week. He and his team spread out and meet the cars as parents come. Sometimes they just bring the parents a small gift (cup of coffee) and say, “Thanks for letting your child come here.” Our youth are picked up. So we have to be more intentional. We call parents and check in on them. Be creative.

2. Get the WHOLE story.

Remember what we hear from students is just one side. There is another piece and probably many layers as well. I have found as I hear a story, I set aside judgement until I hear it all. Since you have been building a relationship with the parent you now can start asking some questions. Be careful, you have been building trust with the teen and you don’t want to barrel in and say, “Hey so your kid said you go out partying every night, tell me what’s up with that?” Also, whatever the teen is feeling is very real to them. Our perception of reality, is our reality. Sensitively, approach the parent, “How are you?” As you get to know them, that question will give you more and more information.

3. Get everyone communicating.

Sometimes I send my students home with “homework.” I ask them spend 30 minutes in the next week with their parents just being with them. The greatest frustration in my group is that they feel like they are not heard at home. THe first time I asked them to do this you would have thought that I had asked them to save the Titanic. One young man came to me later, “I watched a whole movie with my Dad, he wanted to know what I wanted.” Kids and parents often give up communicating with each other. Teach your students how to tell their parents how they are feeling. Encourage them to share. If they can’t do it face to face, have them send a text or email. Then tell them to follow up with, “Did you get my message?” If you talk to the parents suggest they make a move by sending their child a Facebook message. THEN- sit down and talk to them face to face. Many times parents shut down and back down because they have no idea how their actions are really affecting their child. The best person to hear it from is the child.

At midnight on Friday when all is right with the world the “switch” back won’t happen. There is no movie magic in the “real world.” It’s a process. However, as we keep treating the parent like the parent, it can make first strides towards change. Sometimes, it is the very piece that brings a parent into a vibrant relationship with their Savior.

Parents

Add Comment May 17, 2013

leneitaMore Posts When You CHOOSE The Hood: Moving Into The Inner City

I remember the first time I saw an Ice Cube video. He was riding the streets of his “hood,” wearing gang colors, and romanticizing the idea of owning an “AK.” As I am originally from a tiny, rural, town in New England it was a foreign place, far away as any country. Rap artists that followed personified a way of life that “happened to you,” where you daily fought with drugs, violence, gangs and poverty. The “mean streets” were always calling to suck the life out of you. I had never experienced anything like this and truthfully couldn’t imagine ever wanting to.

The running joke around our house is the irony in which the Lord would call a rural girl and a suburban boy into urban ministry. As we got to know the families we ministered to, we could see the hurt that dwelt on the streets at arms length. A friend gave us a copy of “Beyond Charity: The Call To Christian Community,” by John Perkins and the next thing we knew, we felt as if coming IN to the neighborhoods wasn’t enough. We needed to be a neighbor, literally. Choosing to move IN to the hood was easy back then, it made sense. That was almost a decade ago.

Recently, I have been meeting more and more who have been reading the book, “Toxic Charity,” by Robert Lupton. About a month ago at a youth pastor’s retreat a bright eyed young man talked about how he had read the book and couldn’t wait to move into the city. Many thoughts tumbled through my mind, realities that no one told me before we took our family in. There are the number of shocked stares we get when we meet a new person and tell them what street we live on. Many won’t visit our home because of where it is located. The hushed questions we get often, “Aren’t you afraid your family isn’t safe?” A mentor told me, “If you choose this way of living, less and less people will understand you.” Even some of the students in my youth group will ask, “Why do you live there?”

The wonderful piece about living here is that so many stereotypes are dispelled immediately. Most of the families are single Moms, just trying to take care of their kids. There is nothing like the sense of community as front steps fill with people when the weather warms up. My neighbors tell me when someone seedy has been skulking around my door. Putting names to faces, causes you to stop labeling an area based on its “issues.”

I would be remiss however, if I wasn’t honest about the sacrifices you make by choosing this lifestyle. On our block we are the only “white” family in a mixed Latino and African American Community. What this means is a natural skepticism from those around us as to “why” we are here. The reality is stereotypes flip the other way, and there can be misconceptions about who we are. I remember a neighborhood boy coming inside once and declaring, “I thought your stuff would be nicer.” Your children don’t get to just run and place with a sense of safe freedom that comes from living elsewhere. As they reach their teen years they are wondering why we still won’t leave them home for long periods of time. Violence is here, and I have never gotten used to certain sounds that can linger in the distance. The truth is a sense of having “given up on life,” can hang in the air.

There is a misconception that moving into the “hood” makes you “hood.” A friend said to me once, “Your problem is you live in the inner city, but still look like a Soccer Mom.” What can I say, all I did was bring who God made me into a different location. All I had to offer was the Good News.

Here’s the thing, it never does get “easy.” Many days I want to move (more than I would like to admit). I honestly wish it made more sense to others why Jesus would ask this of us. Still, I am reminded, “why” we moved almost daily. One of my student’s moved in next door. To be able to ride the bus with her home from program and an ease in getting to know her whole family is invaluable. The look on faces of those who DO live her when I tell them which house is mine is priceless

Not long ago my neighbor who lives behind me asked, “Didn’t you know where you were moving? Why would you come here, I am trying to get out.” It hit me as I smiled, “If I never lived here, there is no way we would have gotten to know each other.”

Didn’t Jesus ask us to GO? It makes sense to me.

2 View Comments May 14, 2013

leneitaMore Posts Want To Understand “Everybody’s Urban?”

Have you been wondering just how “Everybody’s Urban” can relate to YOU!!

Phil Bell over at “Youthworktalk.com,” was willing to interview Leneita about our newest book, “Everybody’s Urban: Understanding the Survival Mindset of the Next Generation.” It sums up our perspective on how this book can help you!

Click On The Interview Here!

The reality is more and more churches have corporate executives and inner city single Moms sitting next to each other in the pews. If they aren’t in the churches our communities are becoming a mash up society of suburban, urban and rural. We must learn to engage this emerging culture which we are identifying as the “new urban.”

We see more and more developing what we would call a “Survival Mentality.”
As a Christian Culture we have seen most are engaging either the suburban OR the urban OR the rural
Our strength is the ability to not only know how to engage and include ALL who come (urban AND suburban AND rural) we are passionate about providing coaching, training and resources to others who want to learn how to bring Christ to those in their pews and organizations.

We would love to engage YOU in this conversation! Would you consider bringing a group of youth workers togethers where we can come in to coach and train in this new generation?

Add Comment May 13, 2013

leneitaMore Posts When Students Talk About Their Parents… What Do We Say?

When we started the conversation it was as if 17 year old Teddy had been waiting his whole life to tell someone. I knew before we could talk about God being our Father, and what that meant, we had to have a conversation about our earthly Dads. Teddy immediately shook his head, sucked his teeth and blurted out, “All he has ever done is let me down.” Going around the table of small group everyone had a negative opinion of one or more of their parents. Everything from, “They never listen,” to “They don’t care,” to “They aren’t even around,” was shared. How can we expect a student to comprehend the unending, uncompromising love of Daddy God, when the only filter they have on earth consistently is a disappointment?

The adolescent years by nature are a tug of war between a great need for guidance whilst asserting independence. However, even the “best” parents have children rolling their eyes at them. It has been a struggle to know exactly what to say when students talk about their parents. “Siding” with the youth is never helpful, and usually only fuels the fire.

So in these awkward situations when students complain about home what do we say?

1. Please & Thank You: We know Ephesians 6 tells us, “Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise.” It DOES NOT tell us to honor them if they are “good parents”, or even Believers. It is a command, not a suggestion. What does and doesn’t it mean? Wrestle through this concept with your students. Let them tell you stories and help them learn what respect means. Sometimes it’s as simple as please and thank you.

2. Personal Responsibility: Do they play a role in the situation making them unhappy? If it was a fight with their parent, what could they do differently next time? If they don’t feel listened to, can they make an effort to be a better listener? One of my favorite questions when discussing this area is, “How many times does your parent have to ask you to do something you don’t want to do? (Clean, take out the trash etc.) Is it once every time?” Perhaps, they can’t do anything about an absent parent, however, how can they be the child they can be with those who ARE with them?

3. Partnering: The greatest spiritual influence in the life of a child is their parents. This is not merely true of the “Christians” in the group. I have found that saying to a parent, “I am here to be with you, not replace you,” goes very far.

4. Pain: Allow students to share their frustrations and hurts. (If a student shares stories of abuse in any way, it is our responsibility to seek professional assistance.) Perhaps a parent is a workaholic, or tells them constantly they have to try harder (no matter how much they do well). an addict, mentally ill, having an affair or, or, or. The list goes on and on. In some cases all we can do is listen, and point students gently to the truth. People let us down, the Lord’s love IS trustworthy.

Most importantly we must never become a wedge in the relationship between parents and children. There will be times when students see us as their “substitute” parent. The Lord wants the family whole. He longs for the hearts of children and parents to be turned once again towards each other. Our role is to set both parent and child up for success.

Parents

Add Comment May 8, 2013

leneitaMore Posts Hurting Parents Hurt the Home: How Do We React?

With Mother’s Day around the corner, there has been a lot of talk in our group about parents. 90% of the 200 students I serve do not live with both biological parents. One young woman has a great step-Mom, however she grapples as her “other” Mom consistently disappoints and hurts her. Another lost his Dad a few years ago and shared, “I love my Mom honestly, because she is all I have left, but it still isn’t great.”

Through the years my students and I have talked about their families often. There have been parents who are prostitutes, addicts, in jail, absent, & neglectful. I have seen anger, divorce and perfectionism tear families apart. Each time the tears well up. My heart hurts. I have told kids to endure just a little longer and eventually they will “get out.”

There is a problem with this tactic. I have also witnessed many of these same parents are torn apart by a cycle of shame from which they believe there is no hope of escaping. Telling a twelve year old to “wait it out,” is a long time. It can worsen the “survival” mentality.

So when we hear the tales of the horrible home life how do we react?

1. Believe.

We must honestly believe the Lord CAN and WILL change EVERY life. Not just the students, but the parents as well. It starts with us living in the hope that Christ offers for today. He knows how to resurrect the dead. If our attitude is just, “Well He could, make this different, BUT, probably won’t.” We have already lost this family.

2. Stop Judging.

There are two sides to every story and we often get all of our details from our students. Before we jump in and point fingers, we must hear both sides. Get to know the whole family. I have been humbled often, by parents who are trying their best. When I start to judge, I then stand above a family forgetting there is more going on than I might see. Pointing fingers is rarely helpful.

3. Pray

There are situations we don’t know how to handle. As I listen to home lives wrecked, I feel helpless and angry at times. What I have is prayer. This reminds me the Lord is at work, even when I don’t see it with my eyes.

Am I claiming every home life is a mess? No not at all. However, each of us carries baggage that wounds the ones we love. Our students are often telling us ways their parents hurt them. Too often in ministry we hear the “horrors” over the “triumphs.” The steps above may not have been revolutionary, however, in our “line of work,” they are vital. Remember the Lord wants the family whole more than we do.

How do you handle it when you hear the stories of broken homes>

Parents

Add Comment May 7, 2013

leneitaMore Posts Are Your Students OWNING Their Ministry?

A couple of times a year I survey my teen students about our programming. What do we do well? What needs to change? What topics are we missing? About 8 months ago the overwhelming response was a desire to do more and be more.

It began with some leadership classes. Those were great as we talked about integrity, character and how to lead. However, I noticed no one was actually LEADING, while they believed they were. This is when it hit me. This wasn’t about the teens doing more. They were HELPING. However, they weren’t OWNING anything. The expectation was that I show up, do all the work, and they leave.

Teens running our children’s Easter programming.

We started to move from a merely teaching model to and ownership model of ministry. I sat with my teens and had another conversation about “owning” their ministry. If we could start somewhere, I asked, where would it be?

Our students wanted to affect the younger generation, so (with the permission of our Children’s Pastor) they took over some aspects of our children’s programming. It meant many things. We analyzed what went well and what didn’t from their point of view. For those who grew up in the programming, what stood out when they were younger? IThey set up and tore down. They cleaned the church. They ran “children’s church” before the kids went into small groups. Here is what I am learning about teaching ownership of a ministry or project to our students:

1. Take away the pressure of perfection.

The first week we ran “children’s church” it was miserable. The players in the skit had no enthusiasm, kids laughed at the prayer and teens were embarrassed. I praised them for a job well done. They exclaimed, “It was awful.” We debriefed and came up with a new plan for the following week. (I didn’t have to point out the issues. Since they did everything themselves, they saw it.) Next week there will be a new goal for improvement. I had to remind students it was alright they didn’t have the same “polish” the current Children’s minister does. She has been doing this for 20 years, this was the teens first week.

2. Bring Guidance

Student’s don’t always know HOW to do something yet. On the other hand they may not look at a landscape of service and know to “just” jump in. We may have to help them see the task list. Ask a lot of questions, give direction and get out of the way. When our students take ownership we become the golf course landscapers. Our job is to set up the course so they can succeed. However, we put responsibility into their hands for the game.

3. Expect More.

It’s easy to play to the personality of a student. Some are more naturally funny, or comfortable in front of a crowd. This is where I made a mistake. One of my quiet students always helped set up and break down. I believed this was ALL they wanted to do. When we decided to come up with a skit, he was actually WAITING for me to ask him to be a part of it. Then I stepped back, and I inquired who wanted to do what. I started raising my expectations, and they keep rising to the challenge.

My students overall can struggle with apathy. However, we are all learning a valuable lesson in this process. It isn’t JUST about leading, or helping, or serving. It is about OWNING something. One student showed up and said, “I don’t feel like doing this today.” I made him, “90% of the time leaders don’t FEEL like leading,” I told him. The life lessons in this process are worth any amount of extra “work.”

How do you get students to own your programming?

Leadership development

Add Comment May 2, 2013

leneitaMore Posts When Only One Youth Responds…

Last week I had a particularly tough small group time. Ever had one of those?

The students in this particular group are all kids from a rough inner city area. (We would call them, Level 3 students.) Some weeks this translates itself in apathy, other times they start fights with each other. Last week, they were just rowdy and kept making lewd and inappropriate remarks to each other. As they seemed uninterested in any “positive” topic, my frustration began to boil. This is when I calmly asked, “Why do you come to this youth group?” One of the girls chirped, “To learn about God.” They knew this was the answer I wanted, so I pressed further. “It gives me something to do,” was the most common answer. The indifference they worked to present was impressive. This caused me to ask, “Why do you think the leaders come here?” “To teach us about God,” one offered. While that is true I explained it isn’t the whole story. Grabbing a piece of paper I used an object lesson to explain the power of Salvation. Within two minutes everyone was sitting riveted to the ideas presented about what it means to be in a relationship with Christ. At the end of our time I felt led to ask if anyone wanted to pray with me to make Christ Lord of his or her life. Only Joey responded.

He is far from perfect. Just that day he had tried to steal an extra snack and insisted I had developed wrinkles in the last week. So why would you love him? He is listening, asking the hard questions and genuinely wants to learn what it means to follow Jesus. My heart aches, as I want the others to desire the Lord. However, I was struck with some important ideas of talking to the “one” who does want to hear.

1. Stick with the Truth

Joey has genuinely never heard most of the ideas presented in the Bible of what it means to belong to the Lord. I might want to share my oppinions on a topic, however, sitting down and showing Him God’s plan is far more powerful.

2. Remember It’s A Process

“For the Lord,” Joey said, “I will give up ever going to a party or smoking “weed,” Then he paused, “ I’m not so sure I can give up being physical with girls.” In addition he is a student who tries too hard to get other students to like him by telling off color jokes. We talked about how the Lord loves us enough to take us where we are, and too much to let us stay there. It takes time, transformation is rarely immediate. We are all continually being molded into the Lord’s image. We need to remember that.

3. Look Down Deep

Often times as youth workers our focus can be on the student in which we “see potential.” We pour our whole selves into them, however, if they want to remain apathetic, nothing will change. It isn’t the actions of a student where our focus must be, it is more their openness to respond to the Gospel. Joey wants to hear, so I need to take time with Him.

I wish all of my students would come to me and want to learn how Christ can change everything. What I must remember is one student who is willing to allow the Lord in, makes it worth it every time.

When it feels like the others aren’t listening what do you do?

survival

Add Comment April 30, 2013

leneitaMore Posts The Youth Landscape Is Changing: John Fix

For over 17 years my husband and I have worked together in the trenches with youth. My husband, John grew up in a suburban area, where extreme wealth and poverty live side by side. Streets on which we eventually were to serve in urban youth ministry, he was advised to never visit growing up. At one point in his youth ministry career he was teaching at a rich High School while volunteering with inner city families who were deemed “poor.” His youth min. career has been one of the ability to be around teens from a variety of backgrounds. In the past decade we moved into the inner city community where we serve. Mix together these circumstances and he brings a unique perspective to this idea of “Who Are Urban Youth?” John would say the landscape is shifting… Read On..

1. How would you define “urban youth or family?”

More and more I see the “urban family” as being one that struggles with some combination of the following issues: poverty, a single-parent home, addiction, physical and emotional abuse, under resourced schools, and the feeling they might not “get by.” I recognize most of these issues transcends socio-economic boundaries. At the same time I have seen them as visible signs in the urban communities I have lived in. I have also noticed that, in the down economy of the last few years, youth and their families are experiencing more of these factors as a result of parents dealing with the stresses of lay-offs, overdue rent or mortgages, and the need for financial assistance – factors they never believed would touch their lives. In both circumstances I have witnessed a sense of a deeper hopelessness rooted in fear that life will never be any “better than it is today.”

2. In today’s shifting culture we are seeking to redefine urban. What would you if we said the “new urban youth is one living in a survival mindset?”

I believe this is an accurate statement. As I mentioned, the current “urban family” is dealing with a hopelessness that today may be as good as it gets. They are just trying to make it through the day with enough to feed their children, keep the lights on, and provide small, momentary diversions from their circumstances. We are now seeing this on both “sides of the tracks:” traditional urban and suburban.

3. Do you have students living in “survival mode” in your youth group? (Or Have you met families living in this mindset?)

Absolutely! My ministry, Aslan Youth Ministries, deals almost entirely with children from low-income areas of the inner-city. These children are the primary example of what so many suburban youth are starting to face in greater numbers. Stresses that cause them to focus on just surviving their day, not thriving in it.

4. How would/do you approach them?

It may sound like an over-spiritualization, but the best way to approach them is with the hope of Christ. As we literally walk out life with these youth we must constantly remind them that they were made with great value and God has a plan for their lives. If they will follow Him and make godly choices, He has a future for them that will bring them joy and fulfillment. I am always careful not to promise that life will be easy or they will definitely “get out” of their circumstances. However, they need to know they will always have the hope that comes from walking out life with a Savior who loves them. They must begin finding their value here, and then we can begin teaching them how to make those decisions.

More About John:

John Fix is the COO of Aslan Youth Ministries in Monmouth County, NJ. He has a passion for seeing urban communities changed through empowering their future leaders to become highly skilled followers of Christ. It has been his joy to be in the trenches with youth and families for almost two decades. He is highly skilled at strategic planning and vision casting. He loves being a husband to Leneita and a Dad to his amazing children.

new urban

Add Comment April 29, 2013

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In the trenches of local youth ministry for over a decade, Pastor Jeffrey Wallace (a.k.a. PJ) brings a fresh and relevant approach to how to develop and maintain an effective, healthy, relevant youth ministry within the local church. [read more]
Leneita Fix is the Program Development Director for Aslan Youth Ministries, a family focused urban ministry serving Monmouth County New Jersey and Haiti. She has been working in some form of family ministry for almost 22 years. The early years were spent in camp ministry, suburban and rural youth groups. With the Lord’s moving the last 17 of those years have been spent ministering in three different urban areas (New Jersey, Virginia, Florida back to New Jersey).

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