We get caught up in society’s view that bigger is better. From restaurants with huge over-sized portions, to big monster trucks, we think that unless we get something in gigantic portions we are missing out on something. The opposite is true when it comes to praise and letting students know you care, really care about them. You became a youth ministry worker/volunteer because you have a heart for students. When you take the time to let a student know he did good, even if you don’t know that student very well, you just built a bridge to him. He’s going to remember you. It just needs to be a few words, a pat on the back, or a quick hug.
The unfortunate fact is that today more than ever we are dealing with students from broken or single parent homes. The positive attention you give that student could be the only positive feedback he received from an adult all week. (Matt: I’ve had students tell me that the only hug he ever gets is when he comes to church. It breaks my heart to know that because I came from a family that hugged all the time. It also warms my heart to know that the hug I just gave a student made a difference in his day.)
Doing the smallest things can make the most difference. (Steven: A few weeks ago our student band and choir led worship in the “big church” for all of our adult services, and between working and attending, I was there for four out of our five weekend services. After the second time seeing them on stage, I made it a point to go up to one of the junior highers I know who had a vocal solo, give him a high five, and tell him how great he was. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I saw him light up.) All it took was a simple fifteen-second interaction to make that kid’s night.
(Matt: We have the guys in our small group lead the lesson each week. After our small group, I make sure that I text them or send them a message on Facebook telling them what a great job they did.) If a student reveals a hurt or prayer request they have, don’t miss that opportunity to let them know you care, and that you are available for them.
To piggy back on the text idea, if you don’t have some kind of texting plan for your cell phone, get one right now. Texting is one of the most effective “small things” you can do for your students, and you can do it throughout the week. It takes five seconds to send out a text to someone, and chances are they’ll love getting a text from their leader. (Steven: I also make it a point to text kids a few times a week if I know they’re going through a hard time. It might not fix their situation, but it gives them a sense of encouragement and love from someone they look up to.) That action that took you five seconds may have just turned that kid’s day completely around.
Just because something doesn’t seem like a big deal to you, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a small thing for a student, but think about the small things people do for you that make a huge difference. (Matt: For example, if I’m having a bad day, sometimes all it takes is a few simple words of encouragement or caring to help me shake off the bad.) (Steven: Something that will absolutely make my day is someone telling me I did a good job. When I hear that, I know that I did something well, and it encourages me to want to do more.) We got into the youth ministry game to make a difference in students’ lives. You don’t have have to buy a kid a Ferrari, you just have to show them you care.
Matt Reynolds and Steven Orel are volunteer youth workers at Saddleback Church. They approach youth ministry from two different generations and perspectives. Look for lots more from them in the future — for now you can follow them on Twitter (http://twitter.com/gentogenym) and check out their previous blog posts (http://www.volunteeryouthministry.com/category/generation-to-generation).