More Than Dodgeball | Youth Ministry Blog by Josh Griffin

Josh GriffinMore Posts A Parent Complains About a Youth Event … You Should:

From time to time I’m asked to contribute to the Slant33 blog and this week this scenario was presented: A parent complains about a recent youth group event; how do you respond? Here’s the first half of my timeless wisdom on the subject:

Easiest question in youth ministry history! Seriously?

The first thing you should do is ignore the parent as long as possible. You are taking some well-deserved time off after the world’s Best Overnighter in the History of the Universe (TM). Here’s a handy rating scale to let you know how seriously you should take the criticism they level at you:

If the complaint comes via voicemail… Listen carefully to the voicemail, then shake it off and go back to relaxing. A voicemail tells you that the person is 50+ years old, and to help them take a technological baby step, you need to delay returning the call for at least 48 hours. Unless, of course, they name-drop a key elder, deacon, or even hint they might go over your head to the senior pastor. Deduct 1 hour from the projected response time for each time they cry or scream in the message.

If the complaint comes via written letter… Don’t even open it for a few days. Snail mail, really? Did someone use a Portal gun and drop me back in 1974? After a few days, simply toss the letter in the trash then claim it must have been “lost in the mail,” and when you see them across the pews, just say you are so sorry you didn’t respond earlier, but you had no idea.

If the complaint comes via text message… Quickly reply with a short apology and promise to make everything right within 24 hours. This is to honor a parent who knows how to text and is also savvy enough to spread some serious thumbs down on social media if you don’t jump into action.

Obviously meant to be funny … lots more of the answer on the Slant blog if you want to head over there to catch it. HA!

JG

2 View Comments March 26, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Tesoro Own the Weekend Promo Video

Last weekend of the You Own the Weekend series – Tesoro is going to OWN it. So excited – here’s their promo video that’s been on Facebook.

JG

1 View Comments March 26, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts POLL: Small Group Attendance in the Spring

We always start the Life Group year off strong in the fall and expect a dip in attendance this time of year. Right now, we’re at between 60-70% attendance of those registered in the group. How about you? Vote in today’s poll!

JG

[RSS readers, you can vote in the poll by clicking here]

7 View Comments March 26, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts Absolutely Dangerous

I really like learning things, but NOT learning them the hard way and this is something that I have learned the hard way through my own actions and from the challenges it has brought up with some of our students. We have all been there, preaching to our students about something we are passionate about, something we know that many students are struggling with, you’re feeling it and take it off script and then…. It happens……

You throw down a absolute / blanket statement. You might not have noticed it happened, it might have been a throw away comment but the students heard it and they are thinking about it, reflecting on it and deciding if its true.

This is such a dangerous move; even if by accident, because when we say it, our students are going to assume its true and may act accordingly. A great example is a student named Mike that was in my small group for several years. He was solid, growing in his faith, making great choices, loving Jesus and didn’t struggle with much. We took our youth group to a local youth conference and the main session speaker came out with this uppercut:

“ I know that ALL of you guys are struggling with looking at pornography”

Fact: Mike had never been tempted by pornography in his life……. Until he heard that everyone was.

I have made absolute statements about guys and their intentions in dating that were hurtful, and I owned the comment, apologized the next week and wished I had never done it. But it was not fair to the guys and not fair to the girls who trusted that I was telling them the truth, the guys had ill intentions. I know of at least one student who has not come back since that night and that hurts

Absolute statements are rarely true, often hurtful and always dangerous and not worth it. Be careful, your flippant comment can have devastating consequences for the spiritual journey of a student who is trusting that the information you are bringing is true. Don’t learn the hard way like I have.

GS (Twitter)

Add Comment March 26, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Ticket to Ride

For the most part, when I write something about youth ministry it is field-tested. I have done it…it worked. I have done it…don’t ever do it. I have done it…check out these scars. One of the ideas floating around in the old noggin that I have never done and I don’t know if it will work is … wait for it…seasons passes.

Allow me to explain: we live in a CostCo world. If I can’t buy 12 of something at a discounted rate then I don’t want any of them. I love the idea of warehouse stores so much that I bought my wedding ring at CostCo. (Longer story for another day) What if we were to sell season passes to our youth ministry with some of the same mentality? It would work something like this. We do 10-20 events throughout the year that cost different amounts.

…you get the point. If you were to plan your entire calendar for the year and figure out the cost for a family to send a student to everything you would come up with a grand total. Assuming the above 5 events were the only things my ministry was doing it would cost a student $835 to attend all of them.

What if you offered a 20% (or whatever you could afford as a ministry) discount on the cost of all of the events, and if a parent spends $668 they could go to all of the events for a 20% discounted rate?

The reasons I think I am on to something:

Who doesn’t love a discount? More for less is a good thing.
Forces you to plan (and stick to) your events for the year. I am 6 months into a new job at a new ministry. This will probably not happen for a year or two until I am sure of what works and what doesn’t.

There is a group of students who are bought into an event before you even start to plan for it. Once you have paid for something there is a willingness to go to it. You don’t want to waste the season pass. So you can assume most of the students who bought the pass will be at any given event. If not then you can be disappointed about their absences with a little extra money in your pocket.

You have some seed money for start of the year costs. All of our deposits are due at the same time and I put our accounting offices into a panic every September. If your budget was front-loaded by some extra incoming cash, they might not break into a cold sweat every time they saw you coming.

You can allow payment plans. Take the cost of your season pass and divide it by 12 or a little less after a deposit and then families can budget it on a monthly basis.

This one is a slippery slope…You could give some discounts or other privileges with the pass. Discounts on shirts, books, or other things you sell. Maybe front of the bus (or back) seating. Like I said, this one could get a little dangerous but just a thought. As mentioned, this is in the beta phase of genius, so I would love your thoughts or why you don’t think it would work. Maybe you have already tried it and you have some evidence one way or the other. Would love to see a discussion in the comments!

Jeff Bachman is the High School Pastor at Rock Harbor Church just up the road in Irvine, CA. Feel free to leave comments or email him at jbachman@rockharbor.org and of course subscribe to his blog The Until Matters.

7 View Comments March 25, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts Guest Post: Dream Big, Stay Passionate, and Arise!

To all of you who have dreams, listen up. To all of you who have passions, pay attention. Basically, if your lungs require air on a daily basis, this blog is for you. You need to check out a little book called Arise. It’s by Clayton and Ellen Kershaw. You may already know about Clayton if you follow baseball. He’s to the Dodgers what Tebow is to the Broncos. Clayton and Ellen grew up in Texas and became best friends in high school, and soon started dating. Ellen made a trip to Zambia, Africa when she was 18 to minister to the orphans. She didn’t think she had much to offer, so going was a stretch and a huge step out of her comfort zone. But Zambia and the orphans who live there changed her. Meanwhile, Clayton, who later became her husband was advancing his baseball career and became the youngest pitcher for the Los Angels Dodgers before long. With a little creativity and effort this couple made their passions collide in a unique and beautiful way.

Some of you have different things you’d like to do. Or maybe there’s no money in the one thing you most desperately want to do. Have you ever watched the Food Network? If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching the Food Network it’s this: Food is great. But food is even better when it’s combined. And sometimes the most unusual combinations turn out to be the best. For instance, everyone knows that peanut butter and jelly go great together on a sandwich. And pasta shells and cheese make for great macaroni. But have you had cheese with an apple? Or fried chicken with waffles? Or, what my wife made for some dinner guests a few weeks ago: pizza with bacon, slices of strawberry and balsamic vinaigrette. Yeah, that’s right, it was amazing!

Here’s the point. You might feel like you have conflicting passions. Or you’re feeling yourself being torn in a bunch of different directions. This college or that college? Should I be a cop or join the Marines? Should I be a butcher or a veterinarian? There are all sorts of choices out there, and you may not be satisfied with just one. Maybe reading Kershaw’s story will challenge you to combine your passions in a creative way. The good news is if you have a heart for God, you can take that passion with you anywhere you go. There are always people around to be fed the Gospel.

Take my wife and me for example. We want to adopt a child. I want to write books. Now, in this digital world, book writing is a little shaky and won’t provide income nor funding for our adoption unless I think creatively. So I started a blog to promote my stories and books so that when I do get published someday, I will already have an audience waiting for my book’s arrival. In the process I have the chance to share Christ through my blog! It just can’t get any better than that. The blog is band new, and it could fail. But part of the Christian faith is taking risks. You’ll be faced with a lot of risks in your life, especially in the next few years. The question is, will you take them as long as your desire is to bring glory to God?

The Kershaws took risks by trying out for baseball, and traveling to Africa. The Bible is full of stories of people who took risks. We need these stories to help fuel our drive and give us courage. So check out Arise. It’s a great read for those of you coming out of high school or college, but not yet knowing what exactly to do with your lives. It’s also great for the dreamer and especially the pray-er. And for you baseball buffs, you’ll certainly get a good look behind the scenes of the famed Dodger Stadium. Above all, it will challenge you to go out and make a difference in this world, even if you feel insignificant or unworthy. Remember, if you feel really small, then that means you’ve got all sorts of room to grow!

This Guest Post was written by Andrew Toy – You can follow his blog here.

Add Comment March 24, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 3 Things to Consider Before Becoming a Leader

Growing up I heard from a lot of the adults in my life that “leadership” was, in no uncertain terms, going to be a part of my future. At the time, it sounded like a great idea. Sure, I can lead others, and when I really thought about it, why shouldn’t others follow me? After all, I’ve got opinions, ideas, and to me they all sounded like pure gold.

Now that I am in a position of leadership, I wish someone had warned me about all that it entailed. It seems like everything these days comes with some kind of warning except leadership. There’s labels on clothes now that tell people not to iron the garment while wearing it! Sadly I ignored that label once, and found out why it was there. Even prescription medication is forced to come with warning labels. I think sometimes if leadership was a prescription drug the warning label might read like this:

“Leadership: WARNING – Some side affects of leadership may occur. These side affects may include but are not limited to uncontrollable pride, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, hair loss, weight gain/loss depending on your bodies natural response, stabbing sensation in back, consistent and at times and crippling fear of rejection and failure, loss of volunteers, unfair expectations, disappointment, some mild to moderate discomfort due to management/pastoral pressure may occur. Confrontation as well as loss of buy-in, dry mouth, and in some rare but serious cases occupational DEATH may occur. Please consult your physician before adding a regular dose of leadership to your life. Leadership is not for everyone, but if you’ve wondered what it’s like on the other side see if leadership might by right for you.”

Perhaps if this was attached to every leadership position we may think twice about jumping on board. It wasn’t until I jumped into, naively as it were, a leadership role in a large church situation that I learned how many areas of leadership I could really use growth in. I am fortunate to be in a position where I am being allowed to grow as a leader while still maintaining my position. Not everyone has that same luxury, so here are some things to consider before becoming a leader.

1) Being a leader means being a regular conflict.
There is no way to avoid it. Without a doubt if you are in a position of leadership then you will learn that you have a creepy, slimy, male pattern baldness inflicted little hobbit following you around and its name is conflict. Disagreement, miscommunication, and hurt are like golden rings that call out to the obsessive creature that is conflict. In order to be a leader it’s important to become a champion of conflict. Approaching it and acknowledging it when it first shows itself, addressing the why behind the issue, and observing patience, grace, and maturity while resolving it are critical to becoming a conflict champion.

2) Being a leader means being organized for the sake of others.
If you are a hyper organized person, please don’t think that this is something you can just skip. If you are someone who struggles with, hates, or fears structure and organization like the plague (this was me) please don’t run. This issue is critical to your success as a leader, and without it failure is eminent. Understand, organization for the sake of organization is not enough. It must be purposeful and intentional in its nature. Organization should be developed in order to communicate love and appreciation to those around you. Whether its the people who work alongside of you, work under you, volunteer, or are ministered to organization will communicate value and love to those people, and without it a leader will not last long.

3) Being a leader means being a follower first.
One of the most alluring aspects of leadership is the idea of “being in charge”. Often times leaders gravitate to positions of authority simply because of status, influence, and pride. Leadership is not all it’s cracked up to be. As a leader it is pivotal that you first become a follower. We must be willing to submit ourselves first to Christ as our ultimate authority. Not only Christ, but we must also emulate the role David took as a leader too. Even though he had been anointed as the next king of Israel he took on the role of armor bearer for Saul. He carried, and promoted his leader and followed him into battle. Don’t get into leadership if you’re stuck on being first.

Eric Upton is a youth pastor who blogs at Life in the Trenches and has contributed many guests posts here at More Than Dodgeball.

2 View Comments March 24, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Ready to Fight

This is my 15th “tour” of youth ministry duty. During all those years, I’ve experienced great wins and tough losses. I’ve made good friends and have lost some along the way. I’ve done a few things right and a bunch of things wrong. Just ask my commanding officer…er, my senior pastor.

For 15 years, I’ve lived youth ministry every single day. Youth services, graduation parties, funerals, counseling, meetings, van outings, events—I’ve done it, am doing it, and will do it again soon. Today’s juggling act involves trying to get kids to register for camp, while waiting to hear the decision about my proposed youth ministry budget increase.

Like most of you, I’m in the trenches of youth ministry. Here are a few things I’ve learned so far:

• Youth ministry is a battle. This profession, or calling, isn’t for the faint of heart. Although some people are envious of us (“Halo and pizza every night? Sign me up!”), those perceptions are usually far from accurate. Few of us coast through life playing Xbox 360 with Doritos-encrusted fingers. Youth ministry is a spiritual battlefield for the hearts and minds of God’s children. So much is at stake. Our war isn’t with young people who make poor decisions or with parents who refuse to get involved; it’s with the Enemy himself. We will lose battles and be shaken to the core, but we’ll fight on.

• Training is critical. If you’re in day-to-day ministry, I strongly encourage you to make sure you’re prepared for this fight. We’ve lost too many good people already. Also, remember to take a break from the front lines to retreat, read, and repent. Then come back with a renewed passion.

• We’re stronger together. Ministry in the trenches can be incredibly lonely, and that makes us vulnerable to Satan’s attacks. So connect to a network. Ask someone to mentor you. Find someone who’s willing to fight back-to-back with you.

Whether you’ve recently won a major victory or are experiencing the sting of defeat, God has called you to serve teenagers. Whether this is your first tour of duty or you’re a battle-hardened warrior, remember that we’re all in this together.

By the way, I just got word: My budget increase was denied. Oh well, that’s life in the trenches, right? Fight on, my friends, fight on.

This article by Josh Griffin originally appeared in the September/October issue of Group Magazine. Don’t get the biggest youth ministry magazine yet? Get in on the fun.

1 View Comments March 23, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Promotion Calendar/Schedule for Summer Camp

This year we’re trying to be as intentional as possible when promoting our summer camp. Registration opening is just around the corner – thought I would post the schedule that some of our team came up with and we’re hoping to go by this year. Would love to know best practices/ideas that are working for you getting students to camp, too!

Registration Opens April 14/15
- Posters/signage
- Stage announcement/video
- Text message blast (include parent camp list from last summer)
- Business card as students leave
- Email to parents
- Facebook page / Instagram flood
- Big church bulletin announcement

Postcard Mailer May 1st
- Postcard to current Life Group students

Invitation Mailer May 8th
- Letter to incoming freshman
- Letter to graduating seniors
- Facebook / Instagram flood
- Last year’s Summer Camp promo services

May 12/13
- Announcement/video in services
- Facebook push again
- Text Bomb
- Parent monthly newsletter push

Summer Camp Friend Challenge May 19/20
- Bring a friend to camp challenge (design what that look likes)
- Big Church bulletin tear off card
- Camp video with friend challenge twist played at weekend services

Pull Registration Report June 12th
- How many in each grade are registered?
- Do we need to push one grade over the other?
- Text Bomb
- Facebook blast

All weekends after June 12th:
- Stage announcement
- Facebook blast
- Text messages throughout the week
- Instagram

Registration ends July 8th

July 10th: Parent Meeting & Leader training
· Leader training/dinner 6-7:30- team colors announced, cabin lists handed out
· Parent/student meeting- all payments due, cabins assigned, rules/guidelines given, packing list, general camp info

JG

Add Comment March 22, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts No Teenager Left Behind

Really enjoyed this simple author video from Leneita Fix and her new book No Teenager Left Behind. Definitely the first time a video like this has moved me to thinking about something important. Nice work!

JG