A few pictures from this weekend’s killball tournament. Each of the 16 teams is guaranteed 7 games, and the top 4 teams advance to the playoffs. If you’re looking for the rules you can grab them right here. Such a fun night!

JG

Weekend Teaching Series: The Sex Series (week 1 of 2)

Sermon in a Sentence: Choosing who you will trust with your sex life – God’s plan or the world’s plan.
Service Length: 88 minutes

Understandable Message: Doug Fields taught this weekend and in no uncertain terms laid out the options that students have for their sex life. Will you trust in God’s plan for sex, or will you trust in what the world has to offer? The talk was filled with humor and strong biblical content, you couldn’t attend a service this weekend and not be challenged to live differently.

Volunteer/Student Involvement: Lots of student involvement this week – a full choir, student band, a great skit and more. The lighting was particularly strong as well. Our stage design team, led by a great volunteer, had a great environment set up as well. Volunteers greeted and helped everyone feel welcome.

Element of Fun/Positive Environment: We opened up with some leaders singing some songs from pop culture to break the ice about how we would address the topic of sex. We also had a great skit called the Hormone Shuffle which helped ease us into the topic, topped off with some “Sex Sells” images and polls where students voted with their cell phones on subjects like, “when did your parents first give you ‘the talk’” and “how far have you gone sexually.” I’ll post the results of the polls separately this week, but needless to say it made for a great start to the series.

Music Playlist: Sex Medley, Freedom is Here

Favorite Moment: I think the extreme interest in the student-friendly high-felt-need topic of sex is always amazing to see. This weekend we had the perfect storm of awesomeness – Doug Fields teaching, the sex series kickoff and killball after services. Packed crowds to hear the challenge of purity – the biggest weekend in HSM history. Love it!

Up Next: The Sex Series (series finale)

It has been a while since we talked about sex directly in HSM. Last year we did a series called “They Kind of Guy I Want My Daughter to Marry” and “The Kind of Girl I Want My Son to Marry” which was really fun, this year we’re going all out with a new series we’re kicking off this weekend called … The Sex Series.

JG

Is it just me or is living a Christian life like riding a wicked roller coaster?  Some days I feel close to the Lord, like I’m at peace with everything and completely unstoppable.  Other days I feel distant from Him, like my life’s a mess, and as though everything I stand for is hanging by a thread.  C.S. Lewis called this crazy cycle the Law of Undulation.  I don’t know what to call it, but I do know that I despise the times when I feel distant from the Lord.  I almost feel helpless.  I’ll wake up in the morning and right of the bat I know I’m not as “in tune” as I should be.  I recognize this immediately and try to pray for help, but before I know it my mind has wondered to what I’m having for lunch or something.  Aarrrgggg…this is so frustrating!  I think all Christians can relate to this in some way.  So what can we do when our walk with the Lord feels more like a lone trip into the wilderness?

Here are 5 Prescriptions for Curing the Spiritual Doldrums:

1.  Give Yourself a Spiritual Check-up.

Let’s stick with the medical theme for a second.  Next time you’re down, maybe you should play doctor:

Dr:       “Ok Mr. Hughes what brings you in today?”

Me:      “Well doc, I just…just don’t feel as close to the Lord as I know I should.  I bought some Pray-Quil from the pharmacy yesterday and it didn’t even touch it.  I’m just really tired of feeling this way.”

Dr:       “Alright, that’s a common problem for people like you.  I saw a lady just yesterday for the same exact thing.  Let’s go ahead and check your spiritual vitals before we do a more thorough assessment.”

Me:      “Sounds good.”

Dr:       “Well your spiritual pulse is kind of weak.  Have you been reading your scriptures daily?”

Me:      “Uhhhh….no.  I’ve been really busy.”

Dr:       “And your respiratory system sounds awful.  Have you been praying regularly?”

Me:      “……I guess I haven’t.”

Dr:       “Your blood pressure is through the roof!  How’s your media diet? We talked about lowering your inappropriate TV, movies, and music during your last visit.  How’s that been going?”

Me:      “Not so good, I guess.  I was doing good for a while, but looks like I really need to do better.”

Dr:       “I’d definitely say so.  Well Mr. Hughes, there’s no need for further assessment.  It’s pretty clear what’s causing the symptoms you’re experiencing and there’s no need for any invasive treatments.  I’m writing you a prescription here for “Christian Common Sense”.  You can have it filled right around the corner.  Work on the things we’ve discussed and come back and see me in two weeks.”

Let me just say that the majority of the time this prescription works for me.  I seem to always justify not

doing the basics, but then I’m somehow shocked when things “mysteriously” start to go south.

2.  The Spontaneous Fast.

Most of the time when I’m having a “downer” it’s because in some way, my carnal nature has gotten the best of me.  I’m in a greedy, selfish, or prideful mindset that results from putting my will before the Lord’s.  It’s been my experience that there is no quicker way to align our will with the Lord’s than a heartfelt fast. By doing so we make a conscious decision to literally starve the natural man inside us to death…or at least put him to sleep for a while.  Every time I have done this I have been blessed, and the most effective times have been when it’s a spontaneous decision.  I’ll be riding down the road, sick and tired of feeling distant from the Lord, and decide to start fasting then and there.  If you decide to do this, and your fast is sincere and prayerful, it’s my testimony that you will immediately begin to feel closer to the Lord. The best word I can think of to describe this is ‘liberating’.

3.  Find Someone to Serve.

The bible verse that most influences my life is Matthew 25:40.  Jesus said, “Inasmuch as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren you have done it unto me.” Through serving others we literally serve Jesus. I have written about some awesome experiences I’ve had on this subject, and this paradigm has changed the way I see the world.  When we serve others we make a conscious decision to make someone else more important than ourselves.  It’s another way to get the natural man to ‘tap-out’ (to speak in UFC terms).  Here’s a question:  What happened to your problems the last time you went out of your way to help another person?  It’s funny, our problems seem to either disappear or seem less dramatic while serving someone. This is especially the case when we are experiencing the spiritual doldrums.  Try this exercise:  Next time you see someone who could use a helping hand, whether it’s unloading groceries at the store or just in need of a smile and a kind word, replace their face with that of Jesus, and see how one small act of service can fill you with joy.

4.  Talk to Someone.

I remember in elementary school I used to have a bathroom buddy.  Any time one of us had to ‘go’, we had to ‘go’ together.  I think all Christians need a spiritual buddy. Someone we can share our deepest feelings with about living a Christian life….the ups and the downs.  This could be your spouse if you’re married, best friend, or even your church leader.  Nothing could ever replace expressing our most intimate feelings with the Lord through prayer, but I have found that when I’m down, a conversation with a ‘spiritual buddy’ makes all the difference in the world.

5.  Be IN LOVE with Jesus.

What’s the difference between loving someone and being in-love with them?  I have eternal love for my wonderful wife, but I find that the degree to which I’m in-love with her fluctuates [...]

Continue Reading “GUEST POST: 5 Perscriptions for Curing the Spiritual Doldrums”

Our stunning new countdown video for HSM’s sex series that starts this weekend!

JG

Enjoyed this post from The Middle Ground about preparing volunteers for a retreat. I think i’ll adapt it to our setting next time we go on one. Good stuff, here’s a clip:

Be prepared to stay up late Friday night. They have been waiting for this for months. They will be eating extra sugar, drinking extra caffeine, and set to sit still on a bus for 2.5 hours. They will be up late.

• Encourage/challenge the extra energetic to more energetic activities (also encourage showers afterward).
• Try to avoid all-nighters, though this is quite the badge of honor for Jr. Highers.

Take advantage of one-on-ones. Walk to/from session. 2-player games. Opportunities to talk to your small group students will present themselves, especially if you are looking for them. Make the most of these times to follow up on previous issues, comments the speakers made, a noticed poor/great attitude, and lots of encouragement/compliments.

Expect more openness. Students tend to open up more when they are away from home. You need to expect it and look for it.

JG

Today’s huge storm reminded me of the very first time I really understood servanthood in youth ministry.

Oh, I’d heard it taught a lot, and even seen it modeled in a few key figures in my life (growing up, my dad; in college, the Dean of Men and the Head Football Coach) – I even knew well the stories of Jesus and the calling for Christ-followers to be servants, too. But this was when I was truly shocked by serving.

It was pouring outside, our church parking lot looked like Lake Michigan. I’ve never seen it rain like that, and it wasn’t letting up. In fact, the storm was just getting started and our old church building was starting to feel it. The storm drains along the roofline were bursting with water, clogged with leaves, sticks and random debris from years of neglect. My pastor said, “put on your coat” and when a senior pastor speaks, good youth workers listen (in all fairness, we sometimes still do our own thing, but in fairness, we at least listen). We grabbed ladders, climbed up and pulled out fistfulls of rain gutter gunk for a half hour until the church was free from its aquatic bondage. We made it back inside, now soaking wet and put everything away like we found it. Then we went back to work – nothing more was said, and it didn’t have to be.

He had said it all.

Serving is the key. Big church, small church, rookie, veteran, influential, relative unknown – it doesn’t matter. All of us are called to be servants. I learned it that day and the lesson was burned into my psyche forever.

So here I am just a few minutes ago, now some 13 years later, walking back from dropping my kids off at small group here at the church. The whole place is flooded out and the parking lot looks like the Pacific ocean, complete with waves. One spot is particularly rough and I realize it is because a bunch of trash has been swept into the drain, blocking it from working correctly. So in an attempt to free the drain, I’m standing ankle deep in water and pulling fistfulls of junk out. Instant flashback.

Now, this happens to be a story of when I actually did something right. I could regale you with plenty of other tales where I looked away, pretended not to notice and skipped out on serving. In my heart, and I think in yours too, I want to be a youth pastor that understands and lives out this concept of servanthood.

To go the extra mile. To show unusual attention, make intense eye contact. To lend a hand and to stay longer than you are required. And maybe … even clean out the rain gutters.

JG

The latest episode of the Simply Youth Ministry Podcast. Enjoy!

JG

Have you had the new Domino’s Pizza? Just curious – see my post about The Pizza Turnaround yesterday.

JG

“There comes a time when you know you gotta make a change.”
-Patrick Doyle, President of Domino’s Pizza

That’s how the new Domino’s Pizza Turnaround campaign video begins. If you haven’t watched it yet, check it out quick, pretty great stuff:

Domino’s Pizza launched a new website last week and opened 2010 with a major marketing campaign admitting that their product simply didn’t taste good and they were tossing pretty much everything out in their core product and starting over. They listened to what people were saying and worked hard for months to give them what they wanted. The new campaign is an open invitation to try Domino’s Pizza … for the first time all over again.

At the end of the day, I’m 100% sure dollars were a major driving factor behind all of this – decreased sales or the bottom falling out of your company would help anyone see the light – but I’m still impressed a company would risk everything like this. Change isn’t easy. It comes with a great risk. Settling for a little less, which is still a lot, is always easier and always tempting you to play it safe.

So I tried the #newpizza last night at the end of our discipleship retreat. I wanted to reward a couple of amazing HSM volunteers for the love and care they gave a special needs student that attended the event – so had 8 of them delivered up to their room for their guys to destroy. Of course, I planned my little drop by to coincide with the delivery so I could be sure to get in on the action, too.

You know what? The pizza was pretty good!

The price was right ($6/pizza) and it was delivered quickly, just like Domino’s has always been famous for. Now I’ll admit, price and speed are far more important in youth ministry pizza than taste – but it was genuinely good – I think most would see a definite improvement at least. Now obviously, this isn’t a pizza/food blog (although that would be awesome), so what’s the point exactly?

The Church Turnaround
There comes a time when churches must realize they need to make a change – unfortunately, that is usually 10 years after a bunch of people have already realized it. How challenging would it be for us to admit that times have changed – that we simply didn’t taste as good now as we did in the past? Explosive growth was amazing but we can’t rest on the successes of the past to continue to work the present, much less an ever-evolving future. Is it possible that we need to take a hard look at our recipes, how and why we do things, and maybe make some big changes?

It won’t be easy. Change is challenging. Status quo is safe and makes enough people happy to get by. But what if we took a cue from Domino’s and risked it all?

To some degree, we face this right now in our high school ministry. In our upcoming season of ministry we’re taking a long look at everything we do and making sure it tastes great. Nothing is sacred. Everything is on the table. We want to concentrate on the right ingredients and perfect the right recipes to deliver a great product. And it isn’t about sales, souls hang in the balance – this isn’t giving people what they are asking for but praying for God’s guidance to give them what they need in a way they will receive it most effectively. I think we’re having this conversation at the right time, it feels like we’re doing a lot of things right and have a killer team of adults in place to pull it all off. But even a guy like me, who thrives on change and a big challenge, is sweating a little bit.

I’m proud of Domino’s for realizing where they were at and then doing everything they could to fix it. The church should be right there on the front lines doing the exact same thing.

JG

I really liked this post from Josh Herndon’s blog about 10 Things Your Youth Ministry Shouldn’t Do in 2010. Some good stuff, here’s a couple of the highlights:

1. You shouldn’t buy an expensive video camera. $2,000 is a risky investment to make for the industry’s premier camcorder. Instead, pick up a Flip Camera. They run about $200. The picture looks great. The software is user friendly. And you can take it to any event with ease, as it’s the size of your hand.

6. You shouldn’t buy nothing for your small group curriculum. Instead, buy Simply Youth Ministry’s Live Curriculum. The sticker price will shock you at $500 but it’s a 4-year program, making each lesson about $3.50. Well worth the price for a comprehensive, customizable, practical, and theologically grounded youth ministry. I haven’t picked it up yet, but it’s on my docket list.

8. You shouldn’t buy game consoles at a retail store. Picking up a Wii, Xbox, or Play Station will put you $1,000 after picking up some games, controllers, and accessories. Instead, buy one off of your youth. Come Christmas they’ll get the newest consoles and part ways with their old one for a fraction of the cost to you.

JG

Weekend Teaching Series: Step by Step (series finale, week 3 of 3)

Sermon in a Sentence: Too often we are part of the crowd that is watching Jesus do miracles – when he wants to do a miracle in our individual lives, too.
Service Length: 66 minutes
Bible: Mark 7:31-37

Understandable Message: Special guest speaker Chuck Bomar (who was in town for our annual discipleship retreat) gave the weekend message.  It was an examination of the story where Jesus heals the deaf/dumb man and he challenged students to move out of the crowd and into the committed. Very good connection to the concentric circles from Purpose Driven Youth Ministry, some good stuff..

Volunteer/Student Involvement: This weekend our staff was all up at the retreat, except for me! Volunteers, students and student leaders all jumped in to work the services – it was a great weekend and went off without a hitch. I think this was a major step forward in continuing to move HSM toward simple, effective and clean programming. Good stuff!

Element of Fun/Positive Environment: Jake appeared on video this weekend for the final segment of the Bible-evangelist Dr. Eugene Henry. Silly little video – we also opened with a fun YouTube music video of some of our female students made of Party in the USA. Taffy and I did the welcome/announcements with some random bits thrown in as well – promoting both the upcoming 2-week sex series and the killball event next weekend.

Music Playlist: Your Name High, After Your Heart, Consuming Fire, The Stand

Favorite Moment: My favorite moment was having our team of staff and volunteers gone for the weekend focusing on students that were at the retreat. It was cool to see everyone really slow down and just hang with students.

Up Next: The SEX (week 1 of 2)

Talked to a youth pastor not too long ago about transitioning the reputation and image of this church in his community.  The church didn’t have a positive image or reputation, so he was asking about some strategies for helping move them forward in this process. Up front, let me tell you that a church in transition is always challenging. How do you let them know about the new direction you’re going? Here are a couple of thoughts that might help or springboard you to the right direction if you’re in this position:

The first strategy is for people to SEE about the change – so you can focus on increasing your marketing in your community. Take out some modest newspaper ads, Google ads and set up a “under new management” banner (only somewhat kidding). Announce your shift in priorities, direction or style.

Seeing probably isn’t enough – they need to FEEL the change. Get out in the community. Send hand-written letters to everyone in your town. Get behind mass service projects, random acts of kindness, open a foodbank, etc. Get out there and let them know the changes they are reading on a banner outside the church are making a difference in the hearts of people inside  it, too.

Then, word of mouth kicks in and they HEAR about your church. They break down and come give it a shot, and you’re there to invite them to trust Jesus and become part of the movement that is emerging in your community.

JG

Being a pastor’s spouse is undoubtedly a difficult task. So I’ve learned a couple tricks along the way to protect my wife (and in turn, our marriage).

1. “You are not expected to come”. My wife loves me, our church, and our ministry. But there’s a lot of stuff that goes on that I need to be at that she doesn’t. I need to let her know that she’s not expected to be at every event I am at. If I don’t, she’ll burnout quickly.
2. “It’s not worth repeating”. Just like any workplace, there can be drama at the church office. So when I come home at night, I weigh what should or shouldn’t be reported. Sometimes news is news, and other times news is gossip. I try to keep the silly gossip out of the house.
3. “I appreciate you”. My wife has three jobs, co-leads our youth worship team, co-leads our Sunday worship team, and helps me with our small group. Recognition and thanks can go a long way. My wife’s help is a privilege, not an entitlement.
4. “Who you are is perfect”. Most pastor’s spouses’ struggle with their identity in this role. Affirmation in their calling helps filter out the unneeded expectations by churchgoers so they can become exactly who God intended them to be.
5. “The power is off”. Ministry is ongoing and if we aren’t intentional, we’ll never get “us” time. So we shut off all electronics every night at 10pm (though we try to even sooner than that). Make sure that you are not distracted from your role as husband and wife.

Do you have any tricks you’d like to share?

Josh Herndon is a rookie youth pastor in El Sobrante, CA. He blogs at joshherndon.com and twitters @joshua_herndon.

Had a question the other day about which weeks of the year are typically the biggest for our youth ministry. There are weekends that perform well because of content (a sex series, a series with high student involvement like You Own the Weekend = we save these for the typically slower times), but here are a few weeks that naturally draw in students:

Fall kickoff weekend
The first weekend back as school in the fall is always our biggest of the year. Summer is over and students are anxious to see each other and get back into the school year routines. We typically put a ton of energy into the fall launch of our youth group and do our best to encourage everyone we can to to attend. As you wrap up next summer, consider putting extra energy, promotion and effort into the Fall kickoff and see what happens. It could be big!

Campaign Kickoff
Every fall we also do a church-wide campaign. Typically they lose steam by the end of the series, but the kickoff and first few weeks are usually very strong. Consider working with the leadership of your ministry to pull together a campaign that the whole church gets behind and see what happens in your youth ministry.

Post-Thanksgiving heading into Christmas
Typically the week after the Thanksgiving break is good for student attendance – many students were gone over the holidays and in the stretch to Christmas things slow down and they make more time for church. We plan a Christmas series that usually does well heading into the holidays. Make Christmas extra special – people are more likely to head to church that time of the year.

The first of the New Year
It is natural for students (and their parents for that matter) to concentrate on turning over a new leaf in the new year. Our New Year kickoff is similar to the fall kickoff – lots of effort and energy as we focus on new beginnings and goals.

Now that I look at the list, its interesting to see how they are all stacked in the first half of the school year. Huh.

JG

Curious: As a youth worker, how many nights out are you on a typical week?

JG

We wish it didn’t have to happen, but from time to time it simply has to – you’ve got to kick a kid out of your small group. Later this week I’ll try to post some reasons NOT to remove a student from your small group, but here’s a few reasons someone just might have to go:

Disruption
Sometimes the entire group suffers because of the misbehavior of one, and that simply can’t be. Now don’t penalize a student for not having the social skills in a small group setting, but coach them along on how to be an effective participant in a group environment. If that doesn’t work and a student is still a consistent source of major distraction, it might be time to let them go.

Conflict
Conflict can be healthy, but at some point it again might come at the expense of the group. If you’re having conflict with the parents and their expectations of the small group, or with the student with his or her expectations of the group, a possible resolution might be to ask them to join another group. Hopefully you’re not a conflict avoider, because a little conflict is good. Be sure not to flinch as soon as someone airs a concern, but if the conflict escalates without expected resolution, it might be time to move along.

“Fit”
This one is ambiguous, and if we’re not careful it could become the “catch all” to remove a student on not much more than a whim. But there is something to be said for the way a student fits into the group – usually they know it and so do you, so a conversation giving them permission to seek out a new group where they fit better is probably in order.Be careful with this one.

We all have “that one” kid in our small group – so be patient and long-suffering and ask God to make it clear if a student genuinely needs to be removed from your group. The goal must always be to “repot” a student into a group where they can connect and grow.

JG

Liked this post from Chuck Bomar over on the YS Blog – Chuck is coming out to teach at our discipleship retreat this weekend as well. Excited!

One lesson I’ve learned through the years is to take things slowly and especially when it comes to putting people into leadership positions. One of the balances we need to be very careful of working in college ministry is that of developing giftedness and character. College age people aren’t lacking in giftedness, but character can be an issue. Now, I know plenty of college age people that have a very solid character, but I also know those that have giftedness that far surpasses their character (same true for jr high or high school students). I confess, this was my story when I was in college. I had some gifts, but my character fell far behind. I wasn’t living a crazy lifestyle, but I didn’t have to for my character to be lacking. It’s said that giftedness is what gets you places, but character is what keeps you there.

We need to focus on the character of people and intentionally think through whether or not giving them a leadership position (in any capacity) is best for their long term character development. We don’t usually think about it this way. We see the gifts someone has and then typically release them in ministry…trying to balance character as they go. But often times this can lead to a damaged heart and potentially one filled with so much pride that it causes their ministry to come to an end. So, I’d encourage you to be very mindful of who you place in leadership – and when. They don’t need to be perfect (we certainly are not), but there ought to be a balance of how we lead them in developing their character and giftedness.

JG

If you don’t know what a Sack Chair is, head over to Simply Sack Chairs and take a look. We’ve got a few of them in The Refinery and the students LOVE them. Want one? Enter the new contest right here – just send them 3 creative ways you would use a Sack Chair – and you could win!

JG

I read the book Simple Student Ministry a few months back and never got around to posting a review of it so here goes:

I love a clear discipleship process in youth ministry – the parent book, Simple Church, was one of my favorite books of 2007 and I was hoping their team would bring out a student version of the title. It seems the longer churches are around the more “pile on” programs you have, each intending to help but eventually crowding the discipleship pathway. Simply put, we like to add stuff without taking anything away. Churches have the tendency to program creep, to the point where the core mission is diluted or even disappears altogether. I’m all for simple, clear and effective – to some degree, this is part of the journey we’re on right now with our High School Ministry (HSM). This book strongly urges that direction (large parts of it remind me of a Purpose Driven Youth Ministry combined with What Matters Most) and is a good read if you’re thinking you’re getting over-programmed.

JG