OK, here’s my 12-weeks-out prediction on the winner of American Idol: Season 6.
Obviously, this is at best speculation and wishful thinking, but I’m OK with going on record with how it will play out. Besides, we do it every year the night of the Top 12 debut. Here’s the storyline:
The show plunges into an expected first few rounds, with the bottom singers going off first, despite fan appeal. Brandon goes without a doubt from the judges and Sanjaya finally falls despite beautiful eyes and girly hair. Stephanie just isn’t memorable for some reason, despite having a good voice, and Phil “I don’t want to be there when my son is born” finally goes home to be with his kid. Yawn.
Then in a surprising twist, the girls start to get picked off one by one. First Jordan, because she’s just too young and despite her personality and voice just doesn’t have the “it” factor. Haley is beautiful but lacks punch in her voice, and finally Melinda falls but still appreciates the journey and the judges reassure her she’ll do fine having graduated from back-up singer status. Then Gina goes, because rocker chicks can’t play with the big boys, and finally, judge favorite Lakisha Jones leaves the show because the Idol must look the part and America is shallow and unforgiving to female performers.
That leaves just the three boys to duke it out, Chris Richardson being the first to go – America already has Justin but still appreciates the effort. Blake and Chris duel it out in an all-guy finale where they declare a tie, and the whole thing must be done over again starting with the Top 12 this May. FOX enjoys a ratings boost and Simon Cowell has to purchase more tight shirts to complete the extended season.
Or something like that.
Eliminated: Brandon Rogers
Eliminated: Sanjaya Malakar
Eliminated: Stephanie Edwards
Eliminated: Phil Stacey
Eliminated: Jordin Sparks
Eliminated: Haley Scarnato
Eliminated: Melinda Doolittle
Eliminated: Gina Glocksen
Eliminated: Lakisha Jones
Eliminated: Chris Richardson
Eliminated: Blake Lewis
Winner: Chris Sligh
JG