Hey there Insiders,
Here is a new post from the wonderful Tim & Tasha Levert on easy steps that you can take toward healthier confrontations in your marriage! Enjoy
I (Tasha) hate confrontation. I hate confronting. I hate being confronted. I’m more inclined to slide into a difficult conversation holding a large bowl of ice cream. Tasha truth: Ice cream makes everything better.
I (Tim) don’t mind confrontation. I’m not saying I like it, but I’ve seen how healthy confrontation builds stronger organizations and relationships. Tim truth: I prefer New Orleans snowballs to ice cream.
When it comes to conflict, most of us go into hiding or go on the attack.
Here are a few thoughts to help you live in the healthy space in between and avoid eating another gallon of ice cream or snowballs.
- Pray before a difficult conversation. And during the conversation. And after it. The heart of Jesus in Matthew 18 is that when we deal with conflict in healthy ways, his spirit is with us, helping us move towards reconciliation.
- Speak the truth in love. Most of us err on one side or the other. If we speak love with no truth, it’s useless flattery. If we speak truth with no love, we come across as mean.
- Focus on restoration and reconciliation. Many of us want to win any conflict we’re engaged in, but for us to win means the other person loses. Fight the urge to win, and allow God to replace it with a desire to be reconciled with the other person.
- Offer and ask for forgiveness. Trying to figure out who’s more right and who’s more wrong is a waste of time. Instead, own your stuff, ask for forgiveness, and offer forgiveness to the other person.
- Commit to moving forward. The first time you interact with someone after a difficult conversation can be painful. It’s awkward for both of you, so commit to being the one who pushes through the funk and moves towards normal.
Healthy confrontation exists in a place that avoids hiding and fights against attacking. Choose to confront well, and save your ice cream for your next date night.
Thanks for loving each other and your students,
Tim and Tasha
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