Hey Simply Insiders! We have a great post today to encourage you in your relationship with your spouse from Jake and Melissa Kircher. Check it out!
Youth ministry workers usually have pretty funky schedules, and finding ways to have quality one-on-one time with your spouse, in the midst of an ever-fluctuating, always-demanding environment, can sometimes seem impossible.
But a healthy marriage can’t exist without making the time to connect relationally, emotionally, and physically. Without these basic connections, many marriages, and ministry marriages in particular, can really struggle.
So in the midst of a crazy, busy ministry life, how can you work on carving out time for your spouse?
Regularly ask your spouse if they are getting enough quality time. This seems like a no-brainer, but the reality is, most couples don’t regularly check in with one another about how well they are connecting. Talk to your spouse about how they feel. Ask questions about ministry evenings out, program demands, dates, weekends, days off, and so forth. There isn’t a formula for how much and what type of quality time will work best; it’ll look different for every couple. The key is to be on the same page about what’s best for your own marriage and to seek third-party help if the two of you can’t agree.
Turn off the technology. The idea should be that when you’re home, you’re home. Instead of repeatedly checking texts, Facebook statuses, tweets, emails, or sports scores, purposefully give your full attention to your spouse. Technology eats up time, and it takes away from the precious hours at the beginning and end of the day that you have to be with your husband or wife.
Prioritize a weekly date. This doesn’t mean doing the same thing every week. It also doesn’t mean a date must be at night; go out in the morning, afternoon, middle of the night…whenever! Get creative and try new things. The idea is to spend time doing stuff that will foster conversation, connect the two of you together, and create memories. Need some ideas? Click here for a date idea for every week of the year.
Get away. Be quick to say yes to the church member who offers you their vacation home for free. Actually use your vacation time, even if it’s just for a “stay-cation,” where you do fun day trips in your local area. Get a hotel for one night and don’t tell anyone where you are. Go on a marriage retreat…but not with your own church! (We’d love for you to join us, in partnership with SYM, for this amazing opportunity.) Spend time with your spouse that’s away from the day-to-day routine and responsibilities of life.
Talk every day. Share what you each did during the day. Discuss feelings or emotions that you may be dealing with. Vent to each other about struggles. Celebrate good things that have happened. Talking for 30 minutes every day can make a huge difference in your relationship.
~ Jake and Melissa
Don’t forget to take care of your relationship with your spouses! We love you guys.