I hope your week has been full of quality time with your students! Tim & Tasha wrote our final [CRISIS] article of the week. Read what they have learned about sticking together through hard times.
Tasha and I had been dating less than a month when we had our first crisis.
I don’t remember many details, but it had something to do with conflict in the church she was serving. In fact, it seems like most of our first few years of marriage were marked by crises. I don’t remember much of the details of any of them, but I distinctly remember the two of us landing on the idea that no matter what else was going on, it was us against the world.
I know that sounds a tad melodramatic, but as young twenty-somethings, we believed it. And after 19 years of marriage, we still believe it today (though we’ve cleaned up our theology a tad).
Crises can drain you emotionally, spiritually, and physically. How can you keep your marriage strong and guarded from the craziness you experience as you walk people through crises?
Here are some thoughts on preserving your sanity (and your marriage) in the midst of the chaos of crisis:
- Be wise in what level of detail you share with your spouse. I don’t need (though sometimes I want) to know all the specifics of what Tasha is helping someone work through, and vice versa. We don’t keep secrets from each other, but we want to protect one another from having to process emotionally all the same stuff we’re processing. One crisis is enough; be careful not to multiply it by dumping the details on your spouse.
- Process with someone. We’re often surprised at how much emotional energy it takes to walk through a crisis, even if it has nothing to do with you. Find a friend or two to talk with. You don’t have to share details (especially church-related details to church members), but adding the perspective of others often shines light on things you may not have considered on your own.
- Remind your spouse that no matter what else is going on, it’s the two of you against the world. Crises have an amazing potential to give perspective to life. In the midst of crisis—your own or one you’re helping someone else walk through—sit knee-to-knee with your spouse and say the good things that are often left unsaid when emotions are high.
You can’t escape crisis—in your lives or in your ministries. Put some healthy boundaries and habits in place today that can help you and your spouse grow closer during crises instead of drifting apart.
We love you guys,
Tim and Tasha Levert
*Don’t miss another marriage and family tip from Tim & Tasha Levert or Jake & Melissa Kircher! Get their posts emailed directly to you every Friday when you subscribe to the SYM Today Newsletter!*