accountability | More Than Dodgeball

Chris WesleyMore Posts When You Don’t Have Time

I would like to say that when I was young and single that I enjoyed all the margin that was in my schedule to the fullest. Unfortunately, that was not the case. Just like now I had responsibilities, obligations and burdens that constantly made me wonder, “Where did all the time go?”

Doesn’t matter what season of ministry you find yourself in, time management can be a struggle. The problem comes when you do not monitor the amount of responsibilities and obligations that cross your plate. What it does is create a unnecessary and debilitating tension. In order to be successful in youth ministry and manage all that is in front of you, it’s important to step back, look at your calendar and:

Focus On A Few: There is this pressure in youth ministry to do it all; however, all that leads to is ineffective ministry. Focus on those few things that you, and only you can accomplish. By focusing on what you are best at doing you’ll have the greatest impact for your ministry. Delegate the rest to your volunteer and leadership teams to create more capacity.

Learn To Say “NO”: It’s flattering to receive invitations and offers especially when they can lead to big opportunities. While it’s not always easy to say, “NO.” what it will do is protect you from overcommitting. To discern what to accept and what to turn down, figure out what will move you towards your vision and what will pull you away.

Prioritize: To stay efficient you need to know what is Urgent, Important and Expendable. By sorting tasks and responsibilities in their proper category you won’t have to worry about tangents tearing you away from your vision. Make a list, write it down and revisit frequently.

Build Safety Nets: Find people to share your schedule, and goals with. Ask them to hold you accountable and check-in. It’s also important for you to schedule in (Even if you don’t have time) to just connect with God. When you feel as if you have no time, the best you can do is pause and wait for God’s direction.

You always have time, the question is, “How are you using it?” Consistently look at your schedule, review your responsibilities and trim what is unnecessary When you can add margin to your schedule you allow room to recover, refresh and enjoy what God has called you to do.

Which of these habits is hardest for you when it comes to making time?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

1 View Comments May 14, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Lifelong Learning: Opens you to Growth

When you are faced with struggles in your ministry, are you motivated and encouraged to find a solution? Does the struggle you are facing renew your creativity and drive you to make a greater impact than before? Then you are engaging yourself in lifelong learning and opening yourself to growth; to being the best you, you can be!

Open to growth:

Eagerness to respond to God’s guidance- He is guiding each of us. Are you listening?
Network with others in the same line of ministry- We are all in this together. We are meant to learn from each other. Through the downfalls and victories, share them!
Accountability- Who are you accountable to? Share with someone you trust your deepest concerns, your weaknesses and strengths, and let them hold you accountable. Let them help you up when you fall down and celebrate with you when you are up.
Attend conferences/training courses- They enrich you and your ministry. You will leave refreshed, with new ideas, and creativity to bring into your ministry.
Reading- You can do this on blogs like morethandodgeball.com, in books, magazines, the Bible. Reading enriches the mind and helps you gain helpful insight.
Experiment- Step out! Don’t be afraid to try new things. Stepping out of your comfort zone is a way to growth.
Keep your focus on Jesus- If it is not in line with God’s word, it does not deserve your focus. “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Apply these daily long after your ministry days begin and you will see growth not only in areas of your ministry but in your personal life, your career, your spiritual life and the list goes on. “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6).

Ashley Fordinal is the Children’s Church volunteer at Family Life Church in Sulphur Springs, TX.

1 View Comments April 7, 2013

Chris WesleyMore Posts How To Build Youth Ministry Endurance

This past weekend thousands of youth ministers participated in the Simply Youth Ministry Conference. As a participant in the past few I know that feelings of empowerment and encouragement are flowing through this years attendees minds and souls. The reason these conferences can be such a powerful experience is because of the camaraderie and the opportunity to take a youth ministry “Time Out”.

The problem with a conference like Simply Youth Ministry is that it’s only a weekend. After a weekend of euphoria you are forced to go home and face:

That hurting teen.
A pastor you clash with.
An angry parent.
A semi committed ministry team.

Youth ministry is filled with hills and valleys. It’s like a long run with no end in site. The only way to get through it is ONE STEP AT A TIME. To endure in this emotional, exhausting and journey that you and I call youth ministry you need to make sure you:

Network With Other Youth Workers: You can connect with these men and women at conferences, speak with your pastor or visit sites like the National Network of Youth Ministry. Build relationships with men and women who know what you are facing.

Set-up Limits: This means creating a schedule that protects your time at home and what is most important at work. It also means learning how to say “No” even if the opportunity seems incredible. Work within your limits and see how God will bless you.

Seek Personal Accountability: Find men or women in your church that you can meet with to talk about life, share goals and call you out when you are straying from what’s important. If you don’t know where to start, talk to your pastor, ask fellow youth workers or talk with one of your volunteers to recommend people.

Embrace The Moments: Everything that is good in your ministry is significant. When a teen invites a friend, quotes something from your message on Twitter or testifies in front of their peers, remember it. For all the bad in youth ministry there is so much good. As youth ministers you need to celebrate and share it with your coworkers, volunteers, parents, teens and other youth workers. It’ll remind you why what you do is worth it.

Observe A Sabbath: As a youth worker you need to find other ways of embracing the Sabbath outside of Sundays. While you might be at church it’s still easy to mix work with worship. Take a day where you spend it quietly with God or join a prayer group not associated with your church. If you can’t connect with God you’ll make yourself more exposed to Satan’s tricks.

Youth ministry is a battle because you are dealing with changing lives and relationships. To truly survive and thrive you need to rely on God’s strength and love. Invest in people who will invest in you and keep moving one step at a time. Your work, dedication and heart for the next generation is priceless, fuel it.

How do you endure the long haul of youth ministry?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

2 View Comments March 5, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts goTandem Spiritual Interruptions

A buddy told me about some success he was having in his spiritual life using a new service called goTandem. It isn’t simple to explain, so I put the video above in this post to show you more. Seems like should be some good uses for this in youth ministry. Just throwing it out there – looks interesting!

JG

Add Comment February 27, 2013

Chris WesleyMore Posts How To Know When You Are Doing Too Much

My wife and I used to live in this awesome apartment in midtown Baltimore. One evening we had just come back from the grocery store faced with a dilemma. We were faced with carrying a large amount of grocery bags from our car to our apartment (On the 4th floor) in one trip. The reason we needed to do it in one trip is because there were no more spots in the apartment parking lot and it was too late at night to leave anything of value in the car .

So we attempted to do the impossible. As we unloaded the car our bags began to tear, so we decided to move quicker; however, they kept tearing. We picked up our pace, thinking we could make it to at least inside the building when suddenly everything spilled onto the pavement. Disaster struck because we thought we could handle the load. Nope, we were carrying too much.

There are times in youth ministry when you think you can handle the load. Unfortunately, responsibilities pile on top of one another, the weight gets heavier and next thing you know everything is just spilling everywhere. You’ve lost control of your ministry. Unfortunately, it’s not always easy to recognize when you are doing too much until it’s too late. While it is difficult to recognize there are a few signs. For example, you know you are doing too much when you:

Do Not Sleep Well
Work Longer With Less Productivity
Feel More Irritable
Keep Disappointing Others

It’s when you start seeing these results that you need to sit down (Even if you feel like you don’t have time) and:

Map Out An Ideal Schedule: You are working and living in chaos because you are lacking a vision for your ministry. Even if it doesn’t seem likely you need a plan that will help you manage your time and responsibilities. Plan each day and include everything, even your lunch breaks. If you had total control over your schedule what would it look like?

Build Guardrails: You’ve gone off the deep end because you didn’t have anyone or thing to warn you that you were too close to the edge. Find people who know your schedule to keep you accountable. Go back to your schedule and set a time when you review your commitments. If you get paranoid about doing too much, good, you are on the right path.

Know The Word “No”: One of the largest reasons you do too much is because you don’t know how to say, “NO”. Granted you might say it to others; however, how are you at saying it to yourself? Even if an opportunity looks good, if you cannot handle it, if you are unsure about it’s expectations caution on the side of not doing it. If you aren’t a fan of saying, “No.” in fear of missing out on something big, build up the confidence to say, “Let me think about it.”

If you do too much you’ll burn out of ministry. Knowing when you are doing too much is key to longevity and health in ministry. Set-up a system that protects you and has you focused on why it is you do ministry.

How do you safeguard against doing too much?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

Add Comment January 17, 2013

Chris WesleyMore Posts Clear Your Calendar

It’s the end of the year and for many of us the days are moving faster and the amount of work is multiplying at a neck breaking speed. In youth ministry you have those seasons that pull, push and beat you up. The ones where you wonder whether or not you can hold on for another round. You try to tell yourself, “This season will be over soon and then I will rest.” But the end never comes and the busyness continues on.

The solution to combating those busy seasons is by simply CLEARING YOUR CALENDAR. That’s right take an eraser, whiteout, samurai sword or hand grenade and blow that thing up. Actually, take a breather, refrain from using those measures and try these four steps instead:

STEP #1: Prioritize Your Week - Look at what you do and categorize them in the following ways:

Must-Do
Negotiable
Totally Unnecessary

If everything appears as a must do then sit down with a trusted friend or coworker and have them analyze your schedule with you. Let them ask why and whether something can be adjusted or eliminated. Put what’s important in your highly motivated times. Delegate and eliminate the unnecessary and watch your calendar breathe.

STEP #2: Frame Out Your Days – It might differ depending on the day; however, by marking down consistent start and end times into your schedule you will create a framework of discipline. The reason your day runs long is because there are no boundaries. With no boundaries chances are you are taking too many breaks because you do not feel the pressure of a deadline. By finding that you can work 40 hours in a week and still be effective is liberating. It allows you to have a life outside of youth ministry.

STEP #3: Build In ME Time - You might be incredible at scheduling your professional life; but, how are you at your personal? It sounds wrong to plan in quiet time, family time and even when you eat; however, if you find work bleeding into home life you need to take drastic measure. By building in ME time you’ll find your relationship with God and others drastically improve.

STEP #4: Revisit Consistently – Granted you can’t always plan a busy season; however, as you feel the pace of your schedule change take the time to look at your calendar. Repeat steps 1-3 and make the adjustments that are necessary to survive and thrive. Have someone you know analyze your calendar with you. Allow them to tell you where they see holes and areas of improvement.

While you can’t clear you calendar completely, you can take better control of when you need to do what you do. It’s not the most attractive discipline; however, by managing your time you enable yourself to grow as a leader and youth minister.

How do you guard your time?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

9 View Comments December 13, 2012

Chris WesleyMore Posts Who Takes The Blame?

If you work with teenagers chances are you’ve witnessed many mistakes. Maybe it was that game that you thought would be awesome; however, a girl ends up puking. Or that trip that was incredible until you arrived home late because you couldn’t find the one teen in the rest stop gift shop. In youth ministry mistakes will be made. Parents, teens, volunteers and even the pastor will get angry with you.

When something doesn’t go as originally planned the temptation is to find a scapegoat. You were late because of someone else. The game didn’t go according to plan because the instructions weren’t clear. You make excuses and point the finger; however, all it does it hurt your leadership. Mistakes will happen because you and I are human. As a leader instead of looking for an excuse or someone to blame:

Take Ownership Of The Situation: Owning the situation doesn’t necessarily mean you will take the blame. It means that you will take the steps to resolve the situation. If someone is at fault you’ll find out who that is or if there was a miscommunication you’ll discover when that happened. By owning it you are allowing others to hold you accountable. By embracing the situation you show others that you care.

Criticize And Critique Privately: If a problem does occur because of someone else make sure you talk with them privately. Making a fool of them in front of their peers is embarrassing and doesn’t look well for you. If the situation is severe be sure to have an accountable party who will affirm the discussion. This will also protect you if they aren’t accepting of the feedback.

Pray With Others: Most youth ministers are their harshest critique, which will drain us emotionally and spiritually. Having a small group of peers to listen to your concerns is essential. Allow them to pray for you and pour into you so that you can continue to move forward. In the end you’ll know you aren’t walking through the problem alone.

Obtain Trustworthy Feedback: Make sure you analyze the situation with the help of others. If the mistake was made by another person seek wisdom on how you could have prevented putting the wrong person in the wrong place. Have someone you trust to give you the brutal facts to point you in the right direction.

I’m not suggesting that you as the leader take the fall 100% of the time; however, it’s important to own the situation. Look to resolve it, share the burden with others and make the necessary preparations to avoid the situation in the future. A great leader is one who is humble enough to know mistakes are made and that it’s all a part of being human.

How do you rebound from mistakes being made?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

2 View Comments December 11, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Go + Go + Go = Burnout!

How many of these statements describe you?
• You pride yourself on working 50+ hours a week at the church.
• You frequently miss personal and family events and cancel plans with friends.
• You say, “Let me just finish this one thing” all the time.
• You check email after midnight and/or the second you wake up.
• Your kids have to holler at you—several times—to get you to look up from your laptop.

Believe me, this is a test you don’t want to ace. You need a break. You need to “go dark” once in a while. It’s not good to be “on” all the time. Two reasons we resist this are:

1. Unhealthy expectations. Often we don’t turn it off because our senior pastor or supervisor doesn’t let us—or at least that’s what we think. We assume overworking is a sign of good job performance, when it really drives us to a dangerous place and perpetuates unreasonable expectations. If you manage others, set an example by going home on time. If you’re job-hunting, inquire about typical work habits. And if you’re in a bad situation, get out or nudge the culture toward health.

2. Brokenness. It’s easy to fall into the trap of self-importance, even outright arrogance. Will the world really fall apart if you miss youth group one week? It feels nice to be noticed when you’re gone, but we take it too far. Pray that God will help you fight against personal insecurities and mold your heart into healthy balance.

There’s hope, but it starts with some tough changes. See below for a few tips for fighting back against unhealthy expectations and brokenness.

Go + Stop + Go = Health!
• First, pray for your heart and health.
• Start every day in time with God.
• Track your hours and see where you can gain back some time.
• Take a day off every week.
• Turn off email alerts on your day off.
• Don’t bring your laptop home.
• Limit the number of nights you’re away from home each week.
• Find a hobby that fills you up.
• Have a frank conversation with your boss about hours and expectations.
• Practice saying no.
• Schedule vacation time right now for the next two years.
• Invite accountability in this area.

Originally appeared in the Sept/Oct 2012 issue of Group Magazine. Don’t get the magazine yet? Hit this link to subscribe and get in on the action today!