communication | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: How to Stay Within Your Boundaries

As the phone rings you dread the idea of picking it up. It’s not about who is on the other line as much as it is what that phone call might do to your day. As you pick up the receiver you hope it’s a call that’s quick with no follow up. Phone calls, emails, and paperwork are only a few of the things that clutter our schedule. The reason they clutter is not because there are many, but because they are disorganized. And when you are disorganized in what you do, you experience:

BOUNDARY ISSUES
When our boundaries have been violated it’s easy to start throwing around the blame and losing focus on what’s important. If you are going to have any chance of getting anything done in youth ministry, let alone survive the week you need to know what you are doing and why you are doing them. This will help you set-up boundaries that are realistic and flexible; yet, will keep you on the right path. To organize your responsibilities and stay within the boundaries you need to know:

WHAT IS IMPORTANT – It’s easy for a youth minister to become a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none and that’s because of a lack of focus. If you are going to create any type of boundaries you need to know what has to fill up your day. To figure this out you need to create a list of everything you do and narrow it down to the five most important responsibilities that only you can do. The rest can be discarded or delegated.

WHAT IS URGENT – Urgent responsibilities are the unexpected events that have to be done; however, are not planned. A perfect example is the death or illness of a teen in your ministry. To work with the unexpected you need to be able to SCHEDULE IN MARGIN and COMMUNICATE WITH THOSE CLOSE TO YOU. Scheduling in margin will give you leeway when something urgent comes across your desk like a teen in need. Communicating with those close to you will enable you to talk about when family or personal time might need to be sacrificed.

WHAT IS DISPENSABLE – There are probably habits, meetings and responsibilities that you do that are no longer necessary. To figure out which ones to keep and which ones to toss, list them and then by each item ask the questions, “What is its purpose?” and “How is this fueling us towards our vision?” If you cannot answer these questions toss them. If there are ones you should keep but are not necessary for you to accomplish look at passing them on to a trusted volunteer or coworker.

When you can determine the importance and necessity of certain responsibilities you can build a healthy calendar. The reason you leave an hour later than planned or continue to work at home is because you have organized your day. After you know what it is you need to do and you paint out that 40 – 45 hour work week, ask God to give you the grace to do it. After all he wants you to succeed, he doesn’t want you to compromise your family time or Sabbath. Trust him.

How do you know what’s important, what’s urgent and what’s dispensable for your youth ministry?

Chris Wesley is the Director of Student Ministry at Church of the Nativity in Timonium, MD. You can read more great youth ministry articles and thoughts on his exceptional blog Marathon Youth Ministry.

Add Comment October 13, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Duffy Robbins on Speaking with Your Whole Body

Loved learning from Duffy Robbins last week at a Speaking to Teenagers seminar we hosted at our church last week. It was incredible, here’s a little clip from their seminar, be sure to check out their official website to bring them to your area, too!

1. When not gesturing, park your hands some place that isn’t distracting (your pockets, the sides of your chair, or the edges of the podium).

2. Keep your gestures high up on your body frame. You don’t want the audience to have to choose between looking at you (your eyes and your face) or looking at your gesture. I usually stage my gestures about six to eight inches in front of my chin. To look at my gestures, you have to look at my face.

3. Match the breadth of your gestures to the size of your audience. A larger audience might mean more exaggerated gestures; a smaller audience allows for conversational gestures.

4. Time the gesture so that it best serves your point. Pounding the pulpit 10 seconds after the preacher has made his point leaves the audience either confused about the preacher’s intent or concerned about his reflexes. Neither response enhances the message.

5. Give your gestures a firm end point. Imagine that a gesture leaves a mark in the air (e.g., a vapor trail). There should be an obvious beginning point and an obvious end point. That helps define the gesture, and it aids the audience in interpreting its meaning.

6. Don’t overlook the power of stance. Pulling your chair closer to the circle, moving closer to the group, stepping over to one side near that kid who is detonating his underwear, even the way the feet are positioned if you’re standing: all of these help to communicate focus, boldness, intensity, importance.

Be attentive to how your whole body communicates. Let them hear your body talk.

JG

1 View Comments October 10, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Adapting Lessons for Student with Special Needs

So, how might you adapt a grade-level textbook religious education lesson for a child with special needs? Here are some handy tips to help you along the way.

Prepare

Read through the Children’s Book lesson.
Read through the Teacher Guide lesson that accompanies the Children’s Book.
Think about what you might be able to accomplish with the time you meet with the child. Can you teach the whole lesson during one session? Do you think it might take two sessions? Plan with your time-frame in mind.

Plan

Take an inventory of all of the learning tools you have, including balls, puzzles, pictures, toys, and so on. Gather the ones that might work well as you teach this grade-level Children’s Book lesson.
Allow yourself the freedom to adjust the lesson in a way that will work well with your particular student. Imagine alternative ways to share the information in the Children’s Book.
Mark up the Children’s Book and Teacher Guide with sticky notes. Record notes for yourself about what and how you want to teach this lesson. For example:

Children’s Book: Mark the pictures in the children’s book that you want to talk about with the child.
Children’s Book: Mark the articles, features, or stories that you want to paraphrase or read aloud to the child.
Teacher Guide: Mark the spots where you want to veer away from the book and do an activity.
Teacher Guide: Mark the spots where you will use learning tools to help you teach. For example, maybe you’d like to use the dolls to act out a story with the child.

In advance, gather all your materials and make any physical samples of art projects that you want the child to develop during the lesson.

Teach

When you work through the grade-level Children’s Book session with the child, consider doing the following to make the most of the lesson:

Make learning as active as possible, but in a way that will not raise the child’s anxiety.
Vary your vocal tone and volume to match the message of material you are reading aloud.
Make your face and voice congruent and match up with the content. For example when you are discussing something happy, look and sound happy.
Give the child plenty of time to respond to questions. Accept all forms of attempted communication including talking, gesturing, sign language, pointing to pictures, drawing, and so on.
Provide exact models of what you want the child to say or do.
Describe everything the child does using simple sentences.
Take breaks as needed. If a technique is working, move on.
Give verbal praise when an accomplishment or milestone has been reached.

Joellyn Cicciarelli is a national workshop presenter and the director of curricula development at Loyola Press, who oversaw and helped develop the Adaptive First Eucharist Preparation Kit and the Adaptive Reconciliation Kit.

Add Comment September 29, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Make Your Bottom Line Stick

I was recently looking at some old messages and noticed that I suffered from a lack of focus. I would have a thousand points and twice as many examples. If you were to listen to one of these messages you would never be able to guess the bottom line.

According to the Orange Strategy you and I have about 40 hours a year with our teens. If you speak to teenagers you probably give anywhere from a 15 to 45-minute message. In that time allotted you probably want to say a lot of things; however, you really only need to say one. The reason is because your time is limited. You need to know what you can say in those few minutes that will affect the rest of their week. Basically you need to have a BOTTOM LINE to your messages THAT WILL STICK.

To get your bottom line you just need to answer the question, “What do I want them to know?” but to make it stick you need to answer the following questions:

What do I want them to do?
Every message needs to conclude in an action plan. If you are just filling their heads with knowledge it will get canceled out in the next conversation that they have. Give them a tangible action step to make your lesson more concrete.

How can I continue the conversation?
Give them something to chew on. If you just give them answers without giving them questions they either embrace what you have to say or totally reject it. While the former is better than the latter it won’t promote growth. You want your teens to grow.

How can it be packaged?
It’s not always what you say; but how you say it. Therefore use alliteration, or rhyme. Make it into a mantra that they can repeat when facing certain situations. Just be careful not to be shticky to the point where it’s goofy.

When you make your bottom line stick you utilize those 20 minutes to the max. The idea is to use the time you have to influence the moments you do not. Even if you aren’t giving a message, knowing how to communicate to your audiences is key. Always have a bottom line and be sure to make it stick.

How do you craft a memorable bottom line?

Chris Wesley is the Director of Student Ministry at Church of the Nativity in Timonium, MD. You can read more great youth ministry articles and thoughts on his exceptional blog Marathon Youth Ministry.

Add Comment September 22, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Speaking to Teenagers Coming to Saddleback

I’m super excited to invite you to Saddleback Church on October 4th – Doug Fields and Duffy Robbins are coming to The Refinery to teach their incredible Speaking to Teenagers seminar. They’ve made is super accessible for everyone in the area ($25/person) and it is something I’m SO pumped to be sitting under in a month. Join us!

A practical jam packed one day seminar for Youth workers and anyone else who teaches or speaks to teenagers Including pastors, volunteers, Sunday School teachers. If you teach once a quarter or twice a week, this day is for you.

You will leave this seminar knowing:

The crucial elements of effective communication
The essentials for understanding and connecting to a teenage audience
Keys for personal and spiritual preparation before speaking
The top 10 places to find great illustrations
How to use the right types of words to make God’s Word come alive for students
7 proven tips to make stories more personal & effective
An approach to turn your experiences into powerful illustrations and connecting points
The powerful dynamics of humor and how to use it effectively
How to keep teenagers engaged and deepen their learning
How to avoid making the most common mistakes speakers make
Practical guidelines to enhance your body language and gestures
The secrets of time and timing in speaking
How to match the type of message to your unique situation

JG

1 View Comments September 12, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Reflections from a Summer Intern

Here are a few reflections as a summer intern in the High School Ministry at Saddleback Church:

5. DO get close with co-workers and focus on them more than on projects. I saw the valuable teaching role that people have in my life through this internship. I remember one day specifically, I had a lot of articles to edit and the pressure was weighing down on me, when a coworker asked me if I wanted to go to lunch with her. Everything in me said that I should focus on my work and say no, but for some reason I agreed, and it was such a great conversation about life in ministry and what I’m learning through interning. She gave me lots of great advice and it made working with her on projects such a bigger joy. My editing got done and I actually had a clearer head while doing it.

4. DO hard things. I knew that taking on the magazine would be a large workload, but I took it on knowing it would stretch me as a journalist. Boy, did it ever! Not only do I feel more prepared to be Features editor of the Biola University’s Newspaper in the coming semester, I also feel better prepared to have a career in this field. Organizing and leading a team was a challenge because of my lack of experience, but navigating that has been such an area of growth for my problem-solving and leadership abilities.

3. DO communicate as much as possible with coworkers. I wrote in one of my journals for the class that I was having trouble with the graphic designer for the magazine. I was hoping to see some layouts a few weeks ago, and he didn’t show me any for the longest time. If I had clarified in the beginning that I was expecting to see layouts BEFORE deadline to know that he was making progress, we wouldn’t have any problem because we could have had a conversation about what both of our expectations were. However, since that conversation never happened, there was a long period of mystery and uncertainty regarding when he was going to show me any work. It was frustrating for me and didn’t get me anywhere because I didn’t express it to him, so he had no idea that I was annoyed. I could have saved myself a lot of time worrying if I had just talked to him upfront!

2. DON’T be “above” anything. This is a lesson that I have discussed before, and one that was daily reinforced by the staff. Refusing to do something (or doing it with a poor attitude) because it’s not what you’re passionate about displays an entitled sense of self. Interning is about learning through experience, and certainly God can teach us through tasks beyond our specific calling or role. I learned a lot cleaning out a closet (like how much easier it is to do things with a team, and how to serve others, and how one person’s sour attitude can spoil it for everyone, and how giant cardboard iPhones should never be kept because they take up way too much space).

1. DO take time to reflect, breathe, and commune with God. My stress level during this internship was directly related to the time I spent with God. The days when I was most stressed were the days I skipped time with the Lord, and that negatively affected how I handled myself and navigated conflict at work. Without daily time with God, I can become irritable and closed off. With daily time with God, I have a better view on what’s important and find a lot more joy in what I’m doing and who I am. He is key. Success is nothing if God is merely an afterthought.

Heather Leith is an incredible summer intern on the HSM Team. Follow her semi-annual Tweets at https://twitter.com/heatherleithal.

Add Comment July 17, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: How Do You Approach Special Needs In Ministry?

If every teen you ministered to were the same, life would be easy. But, each person that walks in through the door is different. They are different by things in and out of their control and when you can embrace what makes them unique it will lead to some dynamic and powerful ministry.

Chances are there is at least one family in your church with a child who has special needs. It can be an intimidating situation to approach because it’s something you’ve never prepared for facing. You are conflicted because you want people to know that you are loving and open; however, you also don’t want to disrupt the flow of how you do ministry.

I’ve been blessed to have ministers and a coworker with a special needs educational background who have shown and challenged me in creating capacity for special needs in ministry. Three pieces of advice that they have shared with me is to:

Find People With Passion – You care for special needs teens just as you care for any teen that walks in through your door; however, there are people in your community who are passionate for them. What you want to do is plug these adults into your ministry as small group leaders or mentors. Have them bridge the gap and kill any stereotypes or suspicions that the teens or other adults might have. Pick their brains and learn from them so that you can be more educated on the subject.

Be Inclusive – Certain special needs provide certain limits; however, that should not prevent you from inviting them to be a part of your ministry. If they are high functioning you really won’t notice much of a difference. If they do require assistance ask their parent or another minister to give them direct support. Either way don’t close them out because it’s complicated, embrace the relationship and allow God to lead.

Communicate With Parents – Every parent (whether of special needs or not) wants their child to fit in. When you talk to the parent of a special needs child, chances are they will want to work with you because they want what is best for their kid. Allow them to give you wisdom on their situation and insight on how to handle other teens. Learn what might trigger their teen to be more comfortable or distracted. Get to know their individual child so that you know how to best serve and guide them.

How you minister to that child and their family will depend on what the need is, who the parents are and what resources you have available. But, if you truly want to be a ministry for Christ you need to make sure it’s filled with God’s unconditional and accepting love. It might be a challenge to have special needs in your ministry; however, it’ll only make you better.

How are you approaching special needs in your ministry? If you aren’t why?

Chris Wesley is the Director of Student Ministry at Church of the Nativity in Timonium, MD. You can read more about his ministry and life on his excellent blog Marathon Youth Ministry.

1 View Comments June 29, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Making the Most of Summer Activities

Summer is crazy busy! And while the amount of activities and schedule vary from ministry to ministry, there’s no denying that summer can be a challenging time of year.

So how do you make the most of summer activities? Here are a few ways that might help you fall in love with summer as your favorite season of ministry:

Give your summer interns or key volunteers a chance to lead.
Take the summer off from teaching—and work on getting some of your people up front. Better yet, consider asking students to teach a series as well. Just because you’re not speaking doesn’t mean that it won’t be work for you helping coach them and assist in crafting their talks, but the effort will be worth it. You get a chance to listen and be refreshed while less experienced teachers are being developed.

Try something new…really new.
This summer, we brainstormed up a ton of new ways to engage students. We came up with something that is super new … The Zombie Apocalypse. The whiteboard is filled with ideas on how to make this thing epic – think capture-the-flag + zombies and you’ll get the idea. Will it work? Will I (Josh) lose my job? Who knows, but no one will say we’re content with the same old summer activities. HA! If you need ideas, and didn’t read last week’s articles…shame on you. Now that you are shamed, go read those for a bunch of ideas.

Capture as many text numbers as you can.
Use the summer to expand your contact list. For us, it’s our texting group—we want this to grow significantly heading into fall. This will help you message a ton more students when you start promoting small groups or your fall kickoff teaching series. When a student signs up for an event, make one of the required fields their phone number and a check-box allowing you to text them. They can opt out on their phones at any time.

I think we’ve said this enough the past 2 weeks, but it’s because we don’t want you to miss it! Relationships are the point; don’t lose sight of that during summer. Whatever you plan is pretty much an excuse to have conversations and challenge students in their faith. Make the most of your summer activities!

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.