culture | More Than Dodgeball

Geoff StewartMore Posts Awkward = Healthy

I love visting other youth groups and seeing the different ways that each of them approaches ministry and seeing the different cliques and types of students that each group attracts. In the city I work, the diversity between each of the different ministries is pretty surprising but something I love to see, that students can find a place that speaks their language, with a community they belong to and feel safe in. Each group is a reflection of the the values and style of each leader and fulfilling the purpose of reaching different students.

When I visit a new group I am always on the look out for one thing, the awkward kids. The ones that don’t fit in a lot of places, the ones that maybe don’t have tons of friends and that might look and act very differently than other students. I am not looking for the jocks, the hipsters, or any sort of “cool” kid, in fact I think most youth groups have their fair share of those students, I am looking for the complete opposite. Show me your kids that like to use the coat rack as a light saber, show me your Zacchaeus’s, those are the students to help point to a healthy community.

It’s easy to create a space where social students can be social, but creating an environment where students that don’t fit in can fit in is what it’s all about. You show me a ministry that has no awkward kids, I would be able to argue pretty quickly that, that group is not a safe place. There are students that are reminded often at school that they are different and they don’t fit in, but there is no way that the same should be said of youth group. You belong here, you are safe here, you are one of us here, you are accepted here.

Awkward kids are a sign of health, a sign of a culture of grace for students of all kinds, where young people can feel that they belong, they are safe and are accepted when in many other areas of their life they don’t experience that reality. A group that is diverse, is a group that is experiencing authentic community and youth group is a great place for that to happen.

-Geoff @geoffcstewart

Add Comment April 24, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts Teenagers: Then Vs. Now

From: BestEducationDegrees.com

Thanks to Gerri for sending this awesome image that is making the rounds on Facebook. Great take on teenagers today. Enjoy!

JG

1 View Comments March 27, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Don’t Change the Culture

It’s very typical for a youth group to experience major changes when a new youth pastor is hired. It’s hard for the church and even harder for students. I remember when a youth pastor that I really looked up to left to take another job, I was stoked because he was offered a great job; yet also sad because the future of our youth group was unknown.

So what do you do if you are coming in to replace a youth pastor who was either fired or was offered a different job? Realize that every youth group around the country is different. From the students to the vibe; there is no book or guide that could fully prepare you. It is important to preserve this as students obviously enjoy the “culture” of the group. If they come every week, there is a reason.

While change is always good, making to many changes in the beginning of a new job can be detrimental. Students may question your motives and quite frankly wish that the previous youth pastor never left. Instead determine who the key students are and ask them what they like about a typical week of church. Find out what draws them to your specific church and how they think it could be even better.

Lastly, acknowledge that you are new and you are still getting systems and long term plans in place for the youth group. Students will be much more open to changes if they see the end goal and see that everything has been well thought out.

Chase Miller is a High School student from Orange County, CA. He loves to surf, Tweets Occasionally and would love to Guest Post on your Blog!!

1 View Comments December 23, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Learn

After five plus years of being in the youth worker game, I have come to the conclusion that the key to youth ministry is the desire to learn. When you break it down, learning is what it is all about:

You have to be willing to learn about the teenage brain and how they think. To know who GaGa, Gandolf, Gryffindor, and Garret Gilbert are because they matter to your students.
You have to learn how to listen and when to talk, how to not act shocked when you hear of the details of some kid’s lives, and how to convey emotion over Facebook chat.
You have to learn how to be (or at least seem) interested in stories that really don’t make sense.
You have to learn how to let kids beat you in basketball, teach you things you already know, and the Heimlich in case of a game of Chubby Bunny gone bad.
You have to know all the “Q” words that don’t require a “u” in Scrabble, and who has texting on their phones and who doesn’t.
You have to know what it means when Master Chief is in his cryo-tube and when the ACOG scope for the FAMAS gets unlocked in your third prestige.
You have to be able to cheer for 6 different high school mascots and know where 6 different auditoriums are located within a school.
You have to know who is gone every other weekend because they’re at their dad’s house, and who you haven’t seen in church for a couple of weeks.
You have to learn the names of all your students, and never ever call them by their sister’s name, even though they are identical twins. You have to learn how to remember the joys amid the deep disappointments, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and always expect the unexpected.
You have to learn how to balance church life and “real life”. You have to learn how to leave your work at work. You have to know when the play performance is, the time of the choir concert, and who plays on JV and who made varsity. You also have to know who got cut, and be sure to let him know that it’ll be OK.
You have to know who is struggling and who is excelling; who needs help, and who needs space to sort things out on their own. You have to learn to not compare one kid to another, but rather appreciate each for who they are. You have to learn to not get down about who is not there, but rejoice for those who are.
You have to know how to Tweet, update, upload, post, poke, promote, and share, sometimes all at the same time. You have to know to avoid what’s so fifteen minutes ago and be aware of what’s cool today. You have to know that you are NOT 16 years old anymore and dress, speak, and style your hair accordingly.
You have to know how to say no, and when you have to say yes even though you really don’t want to. You have to know how to clean up messes (both literally and figuratively), and how to say sorry. You have to learn how to appreciate those who may never appreciate you. You have to learn how to sound smart even though you have no idea what you’re saying. You have to learn how to keep your promises and not make one unless you can.
You have to be willing to learn from other youth workers and realize you’re not on an island. You have to learn how to meet students where they’re at and not expect immediate change. You have to learn how to be the adult even if you feel like one of the kids. You have to learn that confusion doesn’t mean indifference and busyness doesn’t mean progress. You have to learn how to schedule the unscheduled time, and how to be flexible. You have to learn how to delegate, lest your passion fizzles and dies.
You have to learn how to read between the lines and how to say the same thing five different ways. You have to learn how to fill your own cup. You have to know where the Bible says an ass talked to Baalam, and what anthropomorphism means. You have to know how to answer the phone at 3am and how to react to the sobbing brokenhearted. You have to learn that you don’t know everything and you learn twice as much from your students than they do from you. You have to know who your Savior is so that you might be able to share Him when a kid needs it.
You have to know what grace is and be willing to show it even when it’s difficult.

But the thing about all these things, and I could go on for another couple of pages, but the thing about these things is we youth people love it! We get to rock out to pop music and listen to kids talk about their days. We get to play Call of Duty and get our butts kicked by kids 1/3 our age. We get to cheer for every sport we never played and paint our faces just to make our one student feel loved. We get to help kids figure stuff out and be with them when they tell their parents about the trouble they got into.

We get to answer the calls at 3am and spend way too much time on Facebook. We get to have inside jokes with teenagers and buy silly gag gifts just because it’ll make them smile. We get to learn from other people who do the same thing we do, and we get to share ideas. We get to grow deeper in our faith so that we might be able to help kids who struggle in theirs. We get to learn about Jesus and see Him work in the lives of the next generation. None of those things are a “have to”, they are all “get to”‘s and that is what makes youth ministry so great!
Learning is what it is all about- and the willingness to learn is what keeps us going day after day. Today I can learn something about someone that I never knew before.

And maybe, just maybe I can tell them something about their Lord and Savior they never knew before. That’s what this is all about.

I am blessed.

Kory Henkel is the Director of Youth Ministries at Bloomington Living Hope Lutheran Church in MN. Check out his blog for more right over here.

5 View Comments February 7, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Understanding Your Ministry Landscape

Whenever I meet a new Youth Pastor one of the first things I tell them is, do some research and learn the Ministry Landscape that exists where they are. The leg work in doing this research will help to have a greater understanding of what is going on, what has gone on and help them get things going faster and easier. Here are the 3 P’s of the Ministry Landscape.

People: Get to know the other Youth Pastors in the area; these guys and gals will be your greatest resource. They know the lay of the land, they know people, the might even know some of your students and above all they are knowledgeable. Attending your local youth ministerial meeting might seem arduous, but the value that comes out of it will be greater than the time invested. Shared responsibility on events, brainstorming, accountability, and prayer and support are available for you there, you just have to show up. Having people that know the culture where you are and know what to look out for are invaluable.

Para-Church: Besides youth groups, what else is happening? Young Life, Youth For Christ? Spending regular time in the High Schools is becoming more and more challenging and if you are wanting to visit the schools, chances are Young Life already does and they can help you navigate through the many hoops it can take to get in. Spend time getting to know these people, because there is typically overlap in students between your ministry and theirs, they are a great ally to have as they are in the schools, and often closer to and more in tune with the youth culture than we can be.

Past: It is really important to understand what has happened if you are new in the area. Unfortunately, there are many instances where the Church, or Youth Pastors are not seen in the favorable light. A moral failure, a well publicized injury or lawsuit or anything like this can make being a YP that much more challenging. It’s important to understand what has happened, peaks and valleys of the Ministry you are taking over as well as the others around it and what has caused them. The more you know about the history, the better you will be at planning to avoid past pitfalls.

Before you go in and gut your new Ministry, take the time to get to know the landscape, the people and the stories. The value that will come of it will help you as you discern the next steps in the building of His Kingdom.

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. You can, too! See how right here.