discipleship | More Than Dodgeball

Geoff StewartMore Posts 4 Must Ask Questions When Meeting A Student

I love our youth nights, I love the buzz, the noise of the crowd, the Worship, the community, the teaching, well basically all of it. The experience of the gathered Church to me is rich, in tradition and off the charts in value. But as mush as I love the bigger stage, I have an equal passion for the relational one on one connection with students and have fought hard to maintain a level of relational connectedness to young people even in the midst of a demanding role in the wider church. When I am going to meet with a student for a coffee, a coke or just going for a walk there are a few questions that are guaranteed to be a part of the conversation.

1 – What is something that you are excited about?

This is a great ice-breaker question, its disarming question and allows a student to talk about something they have an easy time talking about, themselves! This is also a strategic question because it gives me some event or opportunity that I can follow up with. If they are excited about their drivers test, a concert or a hot date, I now have intentional opening for a follow up conversation. Remembering these events and following up shows a student they are valued.

2 – How are things going in your small group?

Our ministry has small groups on the same night as our youth gather, which means that 100% of our students are in small groups. As a leader there are certain areas of the culture that I can shape, but within the small groups exists its own community and culture and its important to know what is happening. Any chance you have to get a the straight goods on the pulse of ministry, you should take it because the growth and discipleship is happening in the small group more so than the large gather. Also finding out about a problem or challenge allows me I can’t help that leader navigate the scenario that I otherwise might not have known was a concern.

3- How is your heart?

I am so sold out to asking this question because it allows the transition into asking students how their relationship with God is, where they are experiencing Him or not. Asking a student about their heart allows the conversation to address where they feel encouraged and where they feel discourage and takes the conversation to a level of honestly faster than “so how are you Really doing?”. Our leaders have been starting to latch onto the question and some of the students now have heard it enough that they jokingly ask me the same question. Its a great part of the changing culture of our ministry where we are trying to go deeper in our relationships with God and each other.

4 – How can I pray for you?

This question is a must ask for obvious reasons, but any meaningful conversation with student that doesn’t include this question is a missed opportunity for me. Students need to know that we are here to journey beside them, to intercede on their behalf and intend to follow up with those things they are in need of prayer for. Praying for our students one on one, in the large group and privately is a core part of what we do.

These are just four of the many questions that we ask our students when we meet with them, are there questions that are on your must ask list?

-Geoff @geoffcstewart

Add Comment May 9, 2013

Chris WesleyMore Posts Growing Outside Of Small Groups

As my high school group of guys have grown older I’ve noticed the amount or responsibilities and conflicts in schedule have grown. Because our groups meet every Thursday night it’s easy for them to miss a week here and there. However, as the obstacles and alternate opportunities grow their attendance starts to falter. They tell me they love being their; however, they are just so bogged down with:

School Work
Sports Practice
Responsibilities At Home

I’m sure this list could continuously go on for many of you and that your groups face similar challenges. The key to keeping the group strong is to enable it to grow outside of your allotted time. That means connecting with teens multiple times during the week in a variety of ways.

That might seem fine to you; however, overwhelming to your volunteers. If you introduce that idea to them there might be push back or reluctance, and that’s okay. You just need to help and show them how to grow outside the designated time. To do that:

Give Leaders An Out – From time to time give your small group leaders permission to do something outside of the usual time or agenda. Because time is so valuable allow them to sacrifice a night of the “usual youth ministry” to do something different. Challenge them to embark in a service project instead of discussing service. Encourage them to do something social that will build camaraderie. Give them permission “to play”.

Extend An Invitation - Many leaders might not know where to start when it comes to investing in their group outside the weekend. Invite them to join you when you are heading out to a game (Where their teens might be present) or on an outing your group might be planning. By extending an invitation you are leading by example.

Set Them Up For Success - On top of extending an invitation to join you equip them with resources that will help them connect with teens outside the group. That might mean training them on social media etiquette, or giving them the tools for planning a night of laser tag. As the youth minister of your church you have a wealth of resources and knowledge that your volunteers need access.

The more a group can grow outside of the weekend or it’s usual time the stronger it will become. It will teach the teens how to build relationships outside of a youth ministry setting. It will also build confidence in your leaders because they’ll feel like they have ownership. When your leaders are motivated to lead outside the group it extends your capacity to be present in the community.

How do you help your volunteers connect with teens outside the designated time?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

1 View Comments March 26, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts goTandem Spiritual Interruptions

A buddy told me about some success he was having in his spiritual life using a new service called goTandem. It isn’t simple to explain, so I put the video above in this post to show you more. Seems like should be some good uses for this in youth ministry. Just throwing it out there – looks interesting!

JG

Add Comment February 27, 2013

Geoff StewartMore Posts GUEST POST: Rick Warren’s Bible Study Methods

One of the books that I have been recommending a lot to students recently is “Rick Warren’s Bible Study Methods” by… Rick Warren. In the book, Rick gives 12 different ways for us to dig into scripture. It is the perfect book for a student who wants to switch things up with their time in the Bible. The methods are:

1. Devotional- Meditate on a short piece of scripture and then find a personal life application for it.

2. Chapter Summary- Read a chapter of the Bible at least five times and then write down your thoughts about it.

3. Character Quality- Pick a character trait that you would like to have/grow in, then look at and study what the Bible says about it. Find out how you can apply that to your life!

4. Thematic- This is one of my favorites! Start by picking some theme of the Bible and write down a few questions you have about them and try to answer them by looking up the theme in various areas of the Bible.

5. Biographical- Choose a character from the Bible and read all that you can about them. Take notes about their traits and character and see how you can apply them to your own life.

6. Topical- Organize a list of scripture about a certain topic. Put it into an outline from that you’d be able to share with another person.

7. Word Study- Choose an important word from the Bible and see how it is used and how many times it comes up. Go and find out what the original meaning of the word is!

8. Book Background- With the use of Bible reference books, study the historical context of a book of the Bible to understand how the history affected the meaning.

9. Book Survey- Read an entire book of the Bible several times to get a good idea on what the book is about and then study the background of the book and take notes.

10. Chapter Analysis- Take a careful look at one particular chapter of the Bible. Take it apart word-by-word, verse-by-verse.

11. Book Synthesis- After you’ve used the Book Survey Method and the Chapter Analysis Method on every chapter of the book, summarize the contents and the main themes of a book.

12. Verse Analysis- Select a passage of Scripture and examine it in detail by asking questions, finding cross-references, and paraphrasing each verse. Record a possible application of each verse you study

I love this book because there is really something in here for everyone, no matter if they are in high school or seminary! Each method is unique in its approach and in its complexity. The methods are organized from simple to complex, so I usually advise that students start in the front and work their way back. So far, students have loved this book! It has helped many of them get out of their quiet time “slumps” because it shakes up the way that they have gotten used to looking at scripture. It is perfect for a student that is looking at taking their time in the Bible to the next level!

Some people that often hit “slumps” are college freshmen. This could be a really great gift for some of your recent graduates!

What is a resource that you have been giving your students recently?

Colton Harker is the Student Leadership Director at Saddleback HSM. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact him at coltonharker@gmail.com or on twitter at @ColtonHarker.

Add Comment February 19, 2013

Chris WesleyMore Posts Disciples of Who?

You thrive on life change. That’s what makes you a youth minister. When life is tough, all you need is that one story of a teen finding Christ. Living out the Gospel and showing you that all the pain, hurt and junk you’ve been through is worth it. As youth ministers it’s not always about the energy, the numbers or the accolades, it’s about connecting the teens to Christ.

But, is that what’s really happening in your ministry? Are you seeing stories of life change for Christ or something else? Stories of life change can happen for many reason. As youth ministers your hope is that they happen because of a personal and public relationship with Christ. That might be happening in your ministry, but then again you might be raising up the next generation of disciples of YOUR CHURCH or YOUR MINISTRY.

It’s a mistake that’s easy to make. It’s a trick the evil one plays on us all. He’ll make the ministry about you, about a program or even an activity. With those things and people comes hype, comes excitement and again life change. But, if the life change doesn’t point to Christ you are creating a group of disciples with shallow faith. That means a higher chance that your teens will walk away when they move away.

So, how do you know if you are pointing teens in the right direction? You can start by:

Observing The Fruit: What path are former teens taking as they graduate high school? Are you finding teens becoming more public and aggressive with their faith? What you need to do is sit down with your team and determine what it looks like when a teen is truly living out his or her faith. This comes from creating a vision for your teens and coming up with signs that indicate you are fulfilling it.

Getting Their Story: Have a teen write out their life story. How is God a part of it? Or is their life change due to people and programs? Help them see that God is writing their story and encourage them to give Him credit. Sometimes the reason you are creating disciples of your ministry is because of a misalignment, correct it before it goes bad.

Ask Them Who They Want To Be: If you ask them “Who do you want to be?” you’ll see how their faith is influencing the vision they have for themselves. Are they describing someone who has been shaped by the world or someone who is being shaped by their faith? Again you can have a conversation with them that will help them see how God is shaping their future.

Get An Outside Perspective: Talk to parents, coaches or teachers about the life journey they’ve seen in their students. Make sure you are connected in the community to determine the true impact your ministry is having on their growth. Are they only “Christian” inside your ministry or are they displaying Christ everywhere they go?

In the end each of your student has a decision whether or not they are going to follow Christ. You need to guide, influence and encourage them to focus on Christ. While you may never have a perfect success rate, you can increase Christ’ influence by pointing them towards Him.

How do you determine who a student is following?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

2 View Comments January 8, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Dear Jesus

A practice I have recently begun is writing letters to Jesus. If you’re anything like me, taking a time of silent prayer can be tough. It’s quite strange because, well, I like to talk. I think the trouble comes because sometimes prayer feels like I’m talking to myself. I’m probably doing that most of the time anyway, so it should feel normal. For some reason it can be hard to articulate thoughts and prayers to God. Though He already knows what I want to say, what I am going to say, and what I truly mean with what I’m saying. He knows more about what I am going to say than I could ever imagine. Therein lies the problem: all these thoughts run through my head and distract me from the purpose behind what I am doing.

This is where the letters come in. I write letters to Jesus to keep me focused in my time of prayer. I thank Him for things He has done in my life. I ask Him for things I want, or write questions I have for Him. I not only get to think about what I am writing, but the process of writing itself is enough to quiet my mind and allow for open communication with my creator. The purpose behind the writing is to be able to spend a significant amount of time with Jesus. Whatever it is that gets written down doesn’t really matter. It’s about spending time with Jesus in a way that allows for intimacy with Him.

There are a few huge benefits from writing a letter to God. First, it allows for reflection. You can look back on the letters of prayer that have been written and see to which ones God replied with a yes, and which ones He replied with a no. You can see how certain prayers affected your everyday living, or how the effect of a certain situation turned out. You can look back and see growth through the letters you’ve written. Another great benefit is that there is no grade. You can write whatever style, grammatical structure (or lack thereof) that you see fit. If you want to write 1000 words in one sentence or paragraph, do it! If you’re more comfortable writing in a specific style such as MLA, APA or Turabian it is entirely up to you. This is helpful because it takes away the need for perfectionism. It’s a letter to a God who created all styles, fonts, colors, types, words or anything else you could come up with; He gets it.

I chose letter format to help personalize my interaction with God. This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote, “Search my heart Lord and bring out Yourself in me. I am not, but I know I AM. Words that until recently never really sunk in. I know that I have issues with pride… This is my biggest downfall. Fortunately, you redeem, restore and renew. This means that I still must work at it, but ultimately your strength is what changes those things in me.” Being raw and genuine with the Lord has made me feel completely new, but that’s not to say writing a letter to God doesn’t come with a few challenges also.

The one challenge in my letters so far has been, “How does God respond?” Where is there room for Him to speak into it? I haven’t found the answer to that yet but, it is entirely up to Jesus. Whether He chooses to inspire you to write a specific prayer down, give you an audible answer, or miraculously type something out for you, I can’t say for sure. I can say, however, that God is in the business of answering prayers. If this can be a way for you to connect with Jesus in an intimate way as it has been for me, then that in itself is a reward worth having.

Travis Lodes is the Student Ministries Intern at Cherry Creek Presbyterian Church in Englewood, CO. Feel free to leave comments or email him at tlodes@gmail.com.

Add Comment January 6, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Reaching Past the Labels

Hipster, valley girl, geek, jock, goth, nerd, average Joe. These are some of the labels we give some of our students. What label would you give yourself? Each one of us has a label that someone would throw on us. Myself, I would probably be the class clown.

Naturally when we tend to have a leaning we tend to fit in with a certain group of students better. Because I am a bit of a clown, I find it really easy to spend time with the “funny kids”. If a student is going to be a stand up comic, that is the kid I will gravitate towards. But what about the rest of the students? Where do they fit into our relational ministry model.

It is okay for each one of us to have a tight knit group of students we disciple. We just have to keep in mind that there are other students who need to be ministered to as well. I think there are a few solutions that we all need to find a balance with:

1. Staffing: If you are in a big ministry, it might mean hiring staff or finding volunteers with different personalities from yours. Find someone to partner in ministry who might be a geek or a valley girl. Try to cover the bases of all the types of students you have. Maybe you might not get a 1:1 ratio but you certainly will be able to be more diverse in who you are effectively ministering to.

2. This one involves you whether a large or small church context, but especially if you are the main person in your ministry. You need to find ways to connect with each of the groups of kids. Find something you can have in common, for the kid who likes comics, go to a local comic shop find one that you can at least appreciate and then talk to the student about that. For the kid who is super into music; find out who their bands are; get some music and then talk to them after you have listened to it.

What about the kid who you “just don’t get what they are all about”, have them explain it to you. Maybe they love modern art, go to an art gallery with a couple students and have them explain to you what they love about it and how to appreciate it.

The thing I have found about trying to reach out to my students this way is:

I connect better with them and find out how to reach them for Christ and how to help them reach others for Christ.
I have found some things that I enjoy that I never would have realized.

As we start a new year, perhaps its a good time to connect with students who otherwise might be less connected.

Which student are you going to connect with this year?

Kyle Corbin has been serving youth as a volunteer or pastor for over 10 years. He is currently the youth pastor at the Bridge Church in North Vancouver B.C. You can follow his blog at: kylecorbin.blogspot.com or Twitter: @CorbinKyle

Add Comment January 6, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts Matt McGill’s New Blog: Imitating Christ

My friend Matt McGill has started a new blog! If you haven’t seen it yet, be sure to check out Imitating Christ. He’s expanding his range of topics for and writing for a broader audience than just youth workers. If you know McGill, you know his heart for discipleship and spiritual growth. This blog is an expression of that passion, focusing on the spiritual life and leadership. Most of his posts end with a few questions that are good for personal reflection or small group discussion.

Good stuff – be sure to check it out now and subscribe!

JG