discipleship | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts A Family First, Family-Friendly, Integrated Discipleship Process

There have been some great discussions on the future of youth ministry as it relates to the family and focusing on parents being the primary disciplers of their teenagers. And while the Deuteronomy 6 principles are clear I don’t think the answer is to throw out youth ministry as we know it as some have claimed.

I’ve been preparing for a discussion panel here at the D6 Conference in Dallas and had a few thoughts about a hybrid idea to bring families more central to the discipleship process while keeping the strengths of a healthy kids and student ministry. Here’s one way, would love to hear yours in the comments!

Kids Ministry
Dads and moms are the primary disciplers. They are actively engaged in their child’s spiritual growth. Children welcome their parents at this age and it feels natural and right. Parents are small group leaders; parents receive books, resources and training on raising their kids spiritually in the church and at home. Parents, pastors and young adults spiritually adopt and mentor kids in the church who don’t have the privilege to have parents of faith. There are worship services designed both together and separate from each other at this young age.

Junior High Ministry
At this point parents are beginning the earliest stage of helping their children grow spiritually without them being present all of the time. Plenty is still being caught and taught at home, but a transition is slowly starting to be made to help kids own their own faith, not just ride the coattails of their parents’ religion. Parents aren’t at everything, but are included in father/son and mother/daughter events. Other caring, trained, and screened adults come alongside the home to help raise Godly students. This is a natural time of resistance to the parent-child relationship, so while it is still integral to their faith development, we embrace the tension and give them outside voices and a little space to simply affirm what mom and dad are saying at home. These aren’t just any volunteers — they are partners in raising these young men and women in concert with parents.

High School Ministry
Parents are resourced, encouraged, engaged and communicated with extremely well. They are cautiously distant enough in the final formal stages of spiritual training of their child to let their faith become their own. Once a month family services are planned and designed with all ages in mind. There are tons of natural discussions in the home around standards, purity, boundaries, morality and integrity that offer many opportunities for discussion and practical application of Scriptures they’ve learned for years. The emphasis of the high school ministry is to help students grow in and on their own. They are also taught and resourced well, as well as given access to apologetics courses, discipleship events and seminars on topics to help prepare for adult life.

College Ministry , Adulthood
Parenting and pastoring is now done from a distance. They have a faith of their own, having been supported and nurtured from their earliest days. They own a personal faith that lasts a lifetime and is passed to the next generation as well.

What do you think? Just crazy enough it might work. Just an idea, won’t be offended if you don’t agree. I’m not even sure if I do, either!

JG

2 View Comments September 23, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts Youth Ministry is a Calling of Extremes

Not long ago, we were chatting it up with a couple of students who had expressed interest in being youth pastors. Our conversation ran through various aspects of youth work when it hit us: youth ministry is a calling of extremes. If you’re new to the gig, you might not feel it just yet — but ask anyone who has been doing it for a while and they’ll tell you it is true.

Extreme schedule
In youth ministry there is no such thing as a typical week. Quite often every day is completely different from the last. This summer alone I (Kurt) ran from event to mission trip to vacation to camp to … I don’t even remember what came next because the schedule was so extreme. It was even busier for Josh…in addition to all the youth ministry stuff, he had to schedule time play video games, watch Star Wars and snack on pretzels.

Extreme emotion
Youth ministry lives on both ends of the emotional continuum. I’ve (Josh) been sitting with students laughing my head off about something one minute, and get a phone call about one of my students being in a terrible car accident the next. Youth workers are there when things are extremely good and when things are extremely bad.

Extreme salary
Youth ministry pays extreme. Extremely little.

Extremely critical age
Youth ministry is focused on what may be the most critical age group in our churches — when students are figuring themselves and their faith out and parents are at the most challenging point in relating to them. We ask these students to give over total control of their life to Jesus . We invite students to be baptized, to demonstrate their faith to their friends, family and the world at the time when peer-pressure and image are the most crucial in their life. That’s some extreme stuff!

Extreme expectations
There’s a lot of pressure on youth workers — from senior pastors, staff, parents and largely from the person who is the hardest on you: yourself.

Extreme hours, extreme emotions, extreme work. Youth ministry pushes everything to the limit. So why in the world would anyone want to do it? Seems like a nice, safe, well-paying nine-to-five job in an air conditioned office is more what most people look for in life, not this.

Why? Because of the extreme fulfillment. We wouldn’t want to do anything else. You?

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.

1 View Comments September 23, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 6 Things I Learned in My First Year As a Small Group Leader

1. Have grace for yourself, and trust Christ IN you!
- When I focused on all the things I could have done better or the mistakes I made I became paralyzed and unable to minister to my students. I learned it was so important for me to have grace for myself and trust that God was bigger than that time I said too much, or didn’t say anything at all, and that He is in me, guiding and using me despite myself.
- Also, don’t be afraid to ask for advice! Talk to other leaders and pick their minds. The Lord has given us all different gifts. More than once I’ve found another leader’s approach to a certain topic helpful.

2. Meet the students where they’re at — full of grace.
- Over half my life group struggles with sex and drinking, BUT they keep coming to group. I try to challenge but never judge, and show them grace and love ALWAYS.

3. Be open and transparent about past struggles — with discretion, of course.
- The first time I met some of my girls was at Summer Camp. It wasn’t until later in the week when I opened up about my past relationships that the girls felt comfortable enough to let me in on the really difficult stuff they had been facing.

4. Hang out together outside of group.
- This helps foster community. The closer your students become as friends the easier it is for them to connect in your group on a deeper level. Even the students that wouldn’t normally bond find they enjoy each other’s company.

5. Hang out with your students one-on-one.
- This is where discipleship happens. In the beginning your students may be apprehensive so hang out two or three-on-one. This is where you have the chance to really hear their hearts and poor into them on a more personal level.

6. Encourage them and let them know you’re available.
- Never underestimate the power of a birthday card or a text letting them know they were missed when they didn’t show up for group that night!

Hope Schoen is an intern on the High School Ministry team at Saddleback Church.

1 View Comments September 17, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts HSM Weekend in Review: Volume 153

Weekend Teaching Series: LAUNCH (series finale, week 3 of 3)
Sermon in a Sentence: Get ready to go back to school by starting the habit of spending time with God every day – walk with Jesus.

Service Length: 72 minutes

Understandable Message: This weekend we want to send students back to school armed and prepared for each day ahead. The best way to live life is to walk with Jesus – so we challenged them to spend time with God everyday in His Word and in prayer. I challenged students to live out Proverbs 4: 20-27 and to pay attention to God’s Words so that they stay on the right path. I asked a couple students to help teach this weekend and they did a super job helping make spending time with God seem possible. It was important this week to make sure we went from ideological to practical, so we created 14 days of text devotionals (I’ll post them later this week) and gave away a TON of 1-Minute Bibles by Doug Fields.

Element of Fun/Positive Environment: We had a fun Life Group rap called “Life Groups Win” to promote the upcoming deadline for small groups, and had a funny tribute parody video to the “Footprints in the Sand” infamous Christian poem. Everything played well and for a holiday weekend attendance was up and so was the energy. Must be about time to go back to school!

Music Playlist: Our God, God Above All, Forever Reign, Burning Ones

Favorite Moment: This weekend I used 2 students to help me teach the talk this weekend – one was a senior and the other a sophomore. They did great! Seeing them teach was an incredible experience – made me think I should do that more often! Just picked out the next 2-3 who will do it in the future …

Up next: No HSM – 9/11 Memorial services in big church

1 View Comments September 6, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts Kicking Off The Fall Right

The fall is one of our favorite times in our youth ministry. Summer is over and everyone gets ready to go back to school. And in our ministry — it also means “back to church” (we have church during the summer but attendance is much, much lower)!

As our regulars interact with their friends from school, something awesome starts to happen — it seems like the same pattern every year – they start bringing them to church! The fall seems to bring tons of opportunities for friendship evangelism and a boost of momentum. It doesn’t happen automatically, we’ve worked to create this kind of culture. How do you build this type of culture in your student ministry? Here are some ways that work for us:

Have a “fall kickoff” weekend
Our goal is that every youth service is safe for non-believing students — we always include an element of fun and an understandable message. But for fall kickoff we go all out – bigger and better than normal — and most certainly will include a clear Gospel presentation. Last year we handed out a bunch of youth group branded school supplies for our students to share with their friends as the school year started. They turned out to be fantastic conversation starters!

Host a big event right at the top of the school year
Every fall, our high school ministry hosts Pumpkinfest, a massive outreach event at the end of October, and our junior high ministry runs an event called The 3 ( $3, 3^rd Friday of the month, 3 hours)! We honestly don’t do too much outside of youth group in the fall — these are it! And for us, they pay off big time. A great activity will get people taking in the schools and on Facebook. You’re not into activities and events? You don’t have a budget or space to accommodate something like that? No problem! The principle isn’t “do something big and crazy”, but rather “do something different and creative…something that builds some momentum as you head into the fall”

Pray about it!
This is the season that sets the tone for the entire year for us. A great start gets us off and running through Christmas. We are sure to cover it in prayer and ask God to do something life-changing. This one doesn’t go without saying … we need to be reminded that we serve and do our part, but the real work is up to Him.

Make sure the next step is clear
With the natural momentum of the fall in youth group, make sure your students know the next step in your discipleship process. For us it is small groups, so not a week goes by without us talking about, promoting, showing a video or texting about getting in a group. Want to start the fall out right? Don’t be satisfied with entry-level ministry alone…challenge students to take the next step!

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.

Add Comment August 25, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts Open House and Day of Prayer for Students Heading Off to College

Had a neighbor invite our family over to an open house for their daughter today – this was her last weekend in Saddleback’s high school youth group and she is heading off to college this very week. The family is so great and it was awesome hanging out with them, they loved our kids and it is always great being in someone’s home.

They had balloons and cake and pretty much what you would expect at something like this, but it went beyond a traditional open house. In fact, they called it an Open House and Day of Prayer.

How cool is that? They invited their friends and family to drop in at any point in the afternoon and eat, laugh and pray over their daughter. They asked people for wisdom on making the big transition from high school to college life. They shared some stories and memories as well.

I just thought it was a next-level rite of passage. Not just your typical give-me-a-card-with-money-in-it kind of thing – it was really something special, something very spiritual as well. I think I just found an idea I’m going to steal for my kids someday. Thought maybe you could, too!

JG

1 View Comments August 14, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Dangling Carrots

Tonight a dear friend of mine said that he will be pay me $1,000 if I lose 20 pounds in one year. I need carrots. This is a nice carrot.

I am fascinated by the effective use of incentives (carrots) that parents use to motivate their teenagers. I’ve heard of cash for grades, clothes for good behavior and even a new car for remaining a virgin throughout high school. I asked several of my high school friends about carrots and many of them receive all kinds of perks if they follow through on the activities that their parents value the most. So I asked, “should parents give carrots to teenagers for attending church, reading the bible or serving the less fortunate?” I could tell by looking at their faces that they were uneasy with this one.

I’m willing to bet you that if you took a look around the children’s ministry at your church you will find carrots galore! If you show up on Sunday you get a star on the chart or if you memorize the verse of the week you may get a tootsie roll. These are not trivial tokens! Imagine giving some smarties to a 2nd grade boy but not his four buddies seated near him or the over achieving girl who didn’t get an attendance star because she was out-of-town visiting her grandma. DRAMA!

Starting in middle school and especially in high school ministry you see a transfer from carrot encouragement to the focus on consequences. Where a kid once got candy for coming to church, now he can’t play in the praise band if he doesn’t have adequate attendance. It is this very mindset that propels we youth ministers to focus more on what Dallas Willard calls “sin management” instead of authentic discipleship. I am fully aware that God has consequences for his children, but I don’t see that He uses consequences as His primary motivation. Having said that, I’m not convinced that I see the use of “carrots” as a means for spiritual growth, except for………

The Kingdom Carrot-
Is the promise of a new heaven and new earth or eternal life enough for a 16-year-old? Should we focus more on passages like John 10:10 describing the abundant life as a means to spiritually motivate young people? I may have more questions than I do answers about this post, but doesn’t the Promised Land seem to be a decent carrot to encourage tired, thirsty people to follow God? There is also a good question that some folks on my team brought up about the difference between a salvific carrot and a Christian leadership carrot, but I digress.

Matthew 6:19-24 is a classic Jesus response about the ultimate carrot and how distracting earthly possessions can be. It is no coincidence that Jesus ends by saying we can’t serve two masters in reference to money, which might give us some insight on the dangers of certain types of spiritual carrots. While I confess to you that I needed the $1,000 to lose weight, I pray that for you and I, the Kingdom carrot will be enough.

Nate Stratman is the Director of Student Ministries at First Presbyterian Church in Colorado Springs, CO.

2 View Comments August 6, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Dig a Little Deeper … Every Student Has a Story

Above is a picture my niece Hayley gave her “papa” for his 70th birthday. To the outside observer it’s a cute picture. Something any child may give to mom, dad, or “pa pa” so they can hang it up on the refrigerator. But, when you dig a little deeper in to the history of this drawing, you’ll find out that it is so much more than merely a “cute” picture.

Hayley was born pre-maturely with a hole in her heart. She had to have open heart surgery before she was a year old to repair this hole. This has caused some physical problems for her as she has gotten older: low muscle tone and sensory integration disorder. Because of this she has been in physical and occupational therapy for 2 years.

The “cute” picture above is the culmination of $75,000 spent on over a thousand hours of therapy for Hayley. Just two years ago this picture would never have happened. It would have been nothing more than a few scribbles on a piece of paper. But, hard work, persistence and dedication has paid off with words, a face, and a smile. Sure, for someone on the outside, it’s a cute picture, and that’s nice and all. But for those on the inside this picture represents so much more.

Those of us in youth ministry have a unique opportunity to be on “the inside.” Each of our teenagers has a story. When we’re willing to dig just a little deeper in to a life, we’ll often find stories … stories of successes and failures, joys and pains, fear and courage … there is always more to their life than what we see on the outside. That teenager who is one of the leaders in your ministry may have had countless hours of somebody pouring in to their life, guiding them and helping them become a leader while that “one” … and we all have that “one” … who causes problems or who seemingly just doesn’t care about anything may represent a life of hurt and pain and they are acting out because no one has spent time trying to invest in them. Understanding this means we won’t be so quick to criticize but more willing to listen. We won’t be as quick to expect a non-believing student to act as a passionate Christ-follower.

As we learn to do youth ministry together, let me encourage you to be willing to dig a little deeper in to the lives of others and to realize that each life has a deeper story. Part of our role is to help students see how their story is woven in to the God’s greater story. But unless we’re willing to dig a little deeper, we’ll never have the opportunity to do that!

Rich Yauger is a husband, dad, and youth pastor. He’s been trying to point teenagers to Jesus at Grace Community Church in Goshen, IN for 9 years and blogs a bit at www.theyaugblog.blogspot.com and Twitter’s at @rich_yauger.