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Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 6 Things I Learned in My First Year As a Small Group Leader

1. Have grace for yourself, and trust Christ IN you!
- When I focused on all the things I could have done better or the mistakes I made I became paralyzed and unable to minister to my students. I learned it was so important for me to have grace for myself and trust that God was bigger than that time I said too much, or didn’t say anything at all, and that He is in me, guiding and using me despite myself.
- Also, don’t be afraid to ask for advice! Talk to other leaders and pick their minds. The Lord has given us all different gifts. More than once I’ve found another leader’s approach to a certain topic helpful.

2. Meet the students where they’re at — full of grace.
- Over half my life group struggles with sex and drinking, BUT they keep coming to group. I try to challenge but never judge, and show them grace and love ALWAYS.

3. Be open and transparent about past struggles — with discretion, of course.
- The first time I met some of my girls was at Summer Camp. It wasn’t until later in the week when I opened up about my past relationships that the girls felt comfortable enough to let me in on the really difficult stuff they had been facing.

4. Hang out together outside of group.
- This helps foster community. The closer your students become as friends the easier it is for them to connect in your group on a deeper level. Even the students that wouldn’t normally bond find they enjoy each other’s company.

5. Hang out with your students one-on-one.
- This is where discipleship happens. In the beginning your students may be apprehensive so hang out two or three-on-one. This is where you have the chance to really hear their hearts and poor into them on a more personal level.

6. Encourage them and let them know you’re available.
- Never underestimate the power of a birthday card or a text letting them know they were missed when they didn’t show up for group that night!

Hope Schoen is an intern on the High School Ministry team at Saddleback Church.

1 View Comments September 17, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Launching Into Fall

Last week was our student ministry’s fall launch week. Every ministry has seasons, especially student ministry. For us, there are 3: Fall (starting in August), Winter/Spring (starting in January), & Summer (starting in June). The rhythm of these ministry seasons calls for realignment behind your God-given vision and communicating that vision to your people. This means two things: 1) who you are & 2) where you’re going. The fall season is even more crucial in this respect because it tends to be the biggest surge of the year in youth ministry. Students are returning to school and getting back into the swing of things for the year. They tend to be a little more on task and more apt to attend service if invited. So communicating vision within the context of your fall launch is a great way to start off the ministry year. I did this in both our middle school/high-school & college/20-something services.

For YouthQuake, I reemphasized our Live Extraordinarily, Lead Creatively, & Love Extravagantly vision that I spent alot of time developing and communicating last year. Putting this discipleship process out in front from the very beginning of our fall season gives us a starting point for where we are going. In other words, it’s our identity…the “who we are.” Check out Geiger & Borton’s Simple Student Ministry and Rainer & Geiger’s Simple Church for details on developing a central vision and discipleship process. From there, I was able to preach a sermon around the “who we are” and the “where we are going.” Breaking down the Matthew 10 passage of Jesus gathering and sending his disciples gave us the foundation for two new initiatives in YouthQuake. First, the “gathering” part of the sermon served as a launching pad for our conversation and announcement of our LIVE groups, small groups and discipleship ministry. We’ve been moving in this direction and are finally pulling the trigger on the “next step” in YouthQuake using Doug Fields’ LIVE Curriculum. Jesus spoke to the multitudes and the thousands, but made his greatest impact in his small group of disciples. Rather than making a trite announcement saying, “Hey, you should signup for this new program,” we were able to communicate the biblical foundation for small groups, the whys behind it, AND the big picture of our vision in a matter of a half-hour. In turn, the response has been through the roof and LIVE groups are already getting full. When you communicate the vision behind the program, the program makes more sense.

Secondly, we emphasized the sending aspect of Matthew 10 when Jesus commissions his disciples to go out the the “lost sheep of Israel.” Go to YOUR immediate context, the people you’re with everyday. Preach the gospel. The kingdom is near. Do extraordinary things. Heal the sick. Raise the dead. In other words, LIVE. LEAD. LOVE. From here, we announced our Lifebook initiative which I posted back in April HERE. Again, rather than announce the saturation week as another event on the calendar, we were able to cast the vision for the Lifebook initiative within the context of the sending portion of Matthew 10. I already have students begging for books to take to their school.

We communicated two major initiatives for the fall and the central vision behind who we are on one of the biggest nights of our ministry year. When you have a larger, captive audience, take your opportunity to cast vision. When you cast vision, people catch it and run with it. It gets your core students recharged, your sporadic students plugged in, and your new students more interested. And it doesn’t have to be a boring, informational meeting. Tie it into the gospel and central message of Jesus. We are gathered to be sent and to declare the good news of Jesus. When you do that, people get why you’re really there. Visioncasting can be very spiritually impacting if you take it seriously. Best part of the night: we had a girl who came for her second time this week give her life to Jesus for the first time AND signup for small-groups AND the Lifebook initiative. Why? Because she felt the presence of God AND our desire to follow Jesus AND our heart to make an impact in our schools and she wanted in. Vision communicates hope and a future. And I’m excited for what God has in store.

Bradley K. Chandler is a graduate of Southeastern University and is the Student Ministries Pastor at Trinity Worship Center in Burlington, NC. Be sure to subscribe to his blog here — good stuff for sure.

Add Comment September 11, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Being a Leader During a Season of Grieving

This past Friday, I received the unfortunate news that my grandmother, one of my biggest heroes and Christian role models, passed away. I can truly say she was one of my best friends for all 26 years of my life and I will miss her intensely for many years to come. The pain of her death is real and the grief I feel is overwhelming.

The other realization that came about in the last few days is that I have to lead a volunteer training the youth ministry I serve with this weekend. How could I be a leader to these people, putting on a face when my soul was weeping, and getting through the training? If I do that I am being fake to myself and to God, but not addressing the training fully is a disservice to my volunteers and the students they are called to serve. Through this time of sorrow and leading, I have come to three points that are important to keep in mind.

Accept Grief For What It Is
People who minister to others tend to not allow others to serve them. I do not know if it is pride, trying to be strong for others, or just the inability to let others into our lives when we hurt, but we bottle it up until we can deal with it at a later time when it is “more convenient.” But to accept this as truth can eat away at our souls. Even Jesus needed time to mourn for Lazarus after he passed away, why do we think we should be the exception? If we do not allow ourselves to fully grieve, we can start to hide away parts of ourselves from loved ones and eventually try to hide it from God. That wound can then fester and turn into something bigger and more destructive than what it first started out as.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words
The youth ministry world is constantly talking about how they want to have authentic community with their leaders, to draw closer together with those that they serve along side. One beautifully painful way of doing so is to be upfront and honest with them. Open your heart to them, ask for them to pray for you, shed some tears together, and allow them to carry some of your burden. This allows you to be vulnerable to your volunteers and at the same time, gives them the permission to bring their heart to the group no matter how wounded it might be.

Respect Their Time, Do Not Dwell In The Pain
I had come to train my volunteers and that is what needed to happen, eventually. Some of these people might be paying babysitters, others skipping out of family plans so that they can get the training to fulfill a calling to serve the youth at your church. Honor them and their time by not dwelling on the situation longer than is necessary. Be real, open your heart, and then get to business. This moment of mourning does not have to be the only time to be real with your volunteers about your heart and so you can reconnect with them over the following months individually at Starbucks or breakfast at McDonalds. In so honoring their time, you can strengthen the relationships that have already been established.

Jeremy Smith is a 26-year old youth pastor at the Air Force Academy chapel, working for Club Beyond, and attending Denver Seminary for his Master”s of Arts in Counseling Ministries. He has been involved in Youth for Christ for eight years — check out his blog at Seventy8Productions.

Add Comment September 10, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Youth Minister – Church Revivalist?

Who comes first, the youth minister or the young people?

Many churches would respond with the first option… The youth minister.

As a result, they hire a youth minister (usually part time), and expectantly hope him/her to bring about revival. To save the church. To fill the pews with families and young people.

I don’t think this should be the case. A youth minister is not a church revivalist.

Sure, any youth minister will use the gifts and skills God has given them to reach out, nurture and disciple young people in the gospel. But if a church is going to grow, it shouldn’t come out of the youth minister’s office alone. Instead it should come from the faithful people within the church loving their community and inviting them to partake in the life giving message of Christ. The ministry of reaching people never ceases to be the calling of the entire congregation. Once a church is ready to accept and include teens and young families, then they can look to bring in someone to assist their ministry desire.

The youth minister should never be the hired gun that saves a church. Unfortunately, too many job descriptions thrust before youth ministers, desire just that. If a church is not reaching out to families and young people, but remaining in their holy huddles, then there may be a reason the church is on life support… But what if your church already looks at you like a revivalist?

1 – Get plugged into a support network. Lean on others who are familiar with the hard road of energising people to do what God has invited them to be a part of and know the weathering it can produce.
2 – Keep an eye out for those who are sharing the gospel and serving the church. Pray that their example rubs off on the rest of the church.
3 – Most importantly, don’t forget why you ARE called to minister at that place. Keep being faithful to growing young people on the life changing transforming of Jesus.

Graham Baldock is a Youth Pastor from Sydney, Australia and has a youth ministry blog worth checking out at grahambaldock.blogspot.com

3 View Comments September 4, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Professional Development Avoidance

A few weeks back I was sitting down with the director of Youth Ministry at the college I am going to be teaching at and he was telling me that Duffy Robbins himself was going to be coming in October to do a one week intensive course which amounts to much of the content that him and Doug Fields teach in their speaking to teenagers series.

I couldn’t believe it, Duffy is coming to the college, for a week in a class of only forty students, to which I replied what most people would ask, “can I sit in on the class?” I mean after all, this is a tremendous opportunity to hear from a great mind in YM and I ask a lot of questions so this is going to be great. He said of course I could attend, and I asked could I invite some of my youth pastor friends from the area to which he replied with something I did not expect.

He replied by basically saying that he had offered in the past and none would come because many Youth Pastors are only interested in professional development if it means traveling to a conference on the Church’s budget. I’ll be honest, I don’t completely disagree, I recently went to a training event that advertised $5 for youth leader training, and it that cost included all course materials, a thumb drive, a keychain and a speaker flown into town. I packed up our team and got there to find a total attendance 30 people in the auditorium of a church that held 1200. The event was well advertised and lots of calls were made, but no one showed up.

The brightest people I know in the youth ministry world are the ones that read the most, and take every opportunity to learn more and if we are serious about growing as leaders its starts with saying I don’t know it all. There is so much quality training out there, take advantage of it.

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Be sure to check out his Twitter stream for awesome ministry goodness. Want to get in on the fun and write up a guest post yourself? See how right here.

Add Comment August 26, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: What To Do With The Kid Who Hates You

Perhaps I am the only person, but I am pretty sure I am not the only one out there who has a student that just doesn’t like me, and I mean really doesn’t like me. In many cases it starts with a leadership decision they didn’t like, or a time that I held them accountable, or challenged a decision they made, but they are upset and holding onto that anger as if it were a trophy. Maybe you have never experienced this, but for those that have, or those that have not yet, it’s a good thing to know, because being in leadership is a lonely place sometimes, and the target on your chest can be sizeable. Here are four things that I have learned in dealing with students like this.

Talk to them- Start with Matthew 18. After all, we are the adults. Try and talk it out one-on-one, and if they are willing to chat about it, do it, even if it’s awkward. Maybe they feel unheard, or brushed off, or offended by something taken out of context, but it’s our responsibility as leaders to figure out what the issues are and work to resolve them. The reality is, sometimes they won’t want to chat, or it’s an issue that you won’t be able to solve, and that’s okay too, but having an available open channel for communication is key.

Kill them (with kindness of course): These are the kids that I will try and go out of my way for – dropping by their work (where they have to talk to me!), or school – and really try to rebuild that bridge, or build trust again. This is not because I need them to like me, but being intentional with the students that would be easier to avoid will mean something to them, even if not right away. Being gracious and relentlessly forgiving is what the best leaders I know do.

Accept it: If there is a student that despises you, but comes to youth group week in and week out, CONGRATULATIONS!, you are doing a heck of a job! When youth becomes about small groups, worship, and what is being taught from the Bible, and not about who is teaching it, that is a sign of a strong youth group. When a ministry becomes a personality cult, hanging onto the charisma of one leader, it’s unsustainable and destined for failure. Sometimes you need to accept that not every student is going to be on board.

Move on: There will come a point where you have tried everything, exhausted your options, eaten too many ice cream cones from their work, and you need to move on. Don’t mistake this as a write-off of that student, but a moving forward of the entire group. When you focus on the students who want to be discipled and they begin to move and grow, eventually that other student will decide whether they want in on what’s going on, or whether they are going to remain on the outside looking in. It’s important that we as leaders move on, focusing on what we are called to do, and make disciples of our students, investing in the ones who desire it.

I hope you never have a student like this, but if you do, it’s not the end of the world. Being a leader means making decisions that are right and not always popular. Do your best to lead the reconciliation charge, but remember: students long to stand for something. even if that thing is not liking you!

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Be sure to check out his Twitter stream for awesome ministry goodness. Want to get in on the fun and write up a guest post yourself? See how right here.

4 View Comments August 22, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: What I Learned from Asking a Volunteer to Step Down – Part 2

If you have a volunteer who refuses your leadership, subverts your authority and doesn’t respond to coaching … it might be time to let them go. If you missed yesterday’s part 1 you may want to start there, and here are 5 other learnings I’m processing after recently asking a volunteer to step down:

7) THINK ABOUT COMMUNICATING THEIR EXIT: When people ask me what happened, it’s important to be honest but also respectful. I asked specifically what they would like me to communicate with students and other leaders if people asked. It was helpful to agree on a kind, but truthful communication that will give a clear picture for my students and other leaders. Perhaps the most important communication should be with the person we directly report to. It’s important that they are in the loop and have a clear understanding…

EXPECT SOME FALL-OUT: We should expect some fall-out. Again, it is always better than the long-term struggles and challenges of allowing a divisive leader to continue. This person is loved by a number of students and I know that some will take it hard. However, time will heal and God will always provide great adults to fill the void. In the past when I have asked someone to step down, the fall-out is often short lived.

9) BE CLEAR AND DON’T COMPROMISE: Because asking someone to leave can be so challenging, it’s important that our guilt or compassion does not lead to letting them stay. If we have struggled through and prayed earnestly, it’s important to stick to what God has called you to do. Today I was asked to reconsider, but I had to be clear that I had prayed for two months about this decision… I was not able to change it.

10) KEEP YOUR SUPERVISOR IN THE LOOP: I gave my pastor a quick heads up that I would be asking this person to step down. I gave him a quick reasoning, and fortunately he is someone who supports his staff and decisions. Either way when you’re going to

11) I AM NOT ALONE: You are not alone either! As you struggle with volunteers, parents, or people at your church, know that there are many like you going through the same struggles. There are many who have gone before us who have navigated through these situations and have survived to tell the tale. Today, I navigated through a challenging conversation, and I am thankful for ministry friends to unload on!

This guest post was written by Anonymous.

Add Comment August 21, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: What I Learned from Asking a Volunteer to Step Down – Part 1

Asking one of the volunteers in your youth ministry to step down is probably an idea that makes you cringe. Without a doubt it is is something that many youth workers struggle through, and I thought it might be helpful to share my experience. It wasn’t that long ago I asked a volunteer to leave my ministry. It was not an easy thing to do… but sometimes the tough conversations have to happen and we should not run away from conflict or difficult conversations like this.

For the last year I have struggled with a leader who has constantly rejected the vision, plans, and purposes of our church and youth ministry. She has been continually divisive with me and other volunteers. I wanted to share with you a little bit about what I’ve learned after walking through this process. There are 11 things, the first 6 today and the remaining 5 tomorrow. Hope it is helpful to you:

1) TAKE YOUR TIME TO WORK THROUGH THE STRUGGLE: We all have different personalities and opinions! Sometimes difficult people are just different from us. Right? It’s imperative that we take time to struggle through to see what is the real issue. It’s also important that we are not too rash or quick to fire people just because they do not think like we do…

2) PRAY EARNESTLY ABOUT WHAT TO DO: Before the summer I met with this person to express challenges I was experiencing. Rather than get into a big debate about the issues, I simply asked them to pray over the summer about their involvement this coming Fall. I have been praying for the last two months and God has provided great clarity.

3) DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY – IT’S MINISTRY: It’s easy to get ticked off with people when they don’t take our leadership seriously. However, isn’t that expected? Should we be surprised when we deal with messy people and relationships? I have to remind myself not to take it personally, it’s just ministry.

4) MEET THEM FACE-TO-FACE: No matter what, always meet face to face. Today, I was able to gain so much understanding by seeing a their reaction when I shared with them. It was also imperative that they could see my face and my care for them as I asked them to step down…

5) EXPECT IT TO BE MESSY: I have never had anyone thank me for “firing” them. This morning went well, but it was still messy and painful. Even though it is messy today, it’s good to consider the ongoing challenges if I were to continue to have a volunteer like this continue to be a part of the ministry. The messiness of today is far less than the messiness of the next year if they were to stay in the ministry…

6) LOVE WELL: As I prayed about this situation, I specifically asked God to give me a heart for this person. As I sat across from them today, I was able to carefully and gently talk to them and consider their best interests as we navigated through the painful reality…

This guest post was written by Anonymous.

6 View Comments August 20, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Twitness or Transparent or Both

Twitter and Facebook have become regular and prominent parts of being involved in youth ministry. I didn’t really get the purpose of Twitter at first, but once someone described it to me as:

“Facebook is for connecting with people you went to highschool with and Twitter is for connecting with the people you wish you went to highschool with.”

I have a hard time disagreeing with this claim, but it doesn’t resolve my wrestle with the role that Facebook and Twitter can and should play in my ministry life. I follow some pretty bright minds on Twitter and some fall into the Twitness category: sharing verses that challenge me and quoting Charles Spurgeon, amongst others, to provoke thought. There are some that share leadership strategies and thoughts, some promoting themselves and others who tweet about their lives, the vacations, family happenings, funny things they see, etc. My tension is that it is still not clear to me what role twitter and facebook should play in ministry. The two paradigms I regularly see people align with are:

Twitness: I find much of what I would consider twitness type content on Twitter to be very encouraging and helpful to me as a Pastor and a Christian. It’s great to read the thoughts and feelings of others and hear about what they are reading or learning. But my dilemma is — who is my audience? My twitter followers are a mixed bag of friends, students, youth pastors, youth workers, Christians, non-Christians and Atheists. We are called to make disciples, but I just don’t know if reciting scripture and tweeting assertions of God’s sovereignty is the way that I can accomplish that. It’s not that I don’t see value in this style, but I wonder if it’s having the desired effect that the writer intends.

Transparent: This is the direction that I tend to lean towards; not because it’s easier, but because the biggest impact on my leadership has been people who I have seen living out their faith in all aspects of their lives. I love the idea of my life being open to my students, leaders and friends. That they can see the way I live, the way I love and honor my wife and family, my love of Christ and the things that I value. My desire has always been to model a Christ like lifestyle that is real and attainable. I want my students, friends, colleagues and congregation to know who I am, what I stand for, and what I care about. Perhaps this is not for everyone, but I don’t always understand why some keep a guard on being transparent.

So if you were looking for a definitive answer, you came to the wrong place, but perhaps you have some thoughts on where you land on this. At this point, I am not ready to be a full on Twitness because I am not sure where I am going to land on the spectrum, trying to strike a balance between investing in my students, friends, and congregation with wisdom and scripture, and allowing my life and ministry to be a true reflection of myself and my walk with Christ.

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Be sure to check out his Twitter stream for awesome ministry goodness. Want to get in on the fun and write up a guest post yourself? See how right here.

2 View Comments August 4, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Follow Through — Follow Up

I have read a lot of articles and blog posts about dealing with volunteer leaders in the past few years, and as you know they can be a great part of the pastoral gig or a burden and challenge. You work so hard to make sure that expectations around lifestyle and conduct are clear, understood and an upheld and for the most part leaders honor and uphold this agreement. But from time to time, something happens, where all your best preparations could not prevent, and one of your team violates the agreed leadership covenant and action needs to be taken. There is so much that needs to happen around this but for this, lets focus on following through and following up with your leader.

Follow Through: If we have a leadership covenant with clear expectations and consequences, it will be worthless if we are unwilling to do the tough and messy job of upholding that which we have expressed as the standard. If someone breaks the covenant to the point that the painful task of removing them is necessary, we would be poor leaders if we were not willing to engage the difficult process of removal. Though there is pain and sadness is following through on this, the reality of not doing it could have much more dire consequences to our leadership when we are not willing to take a stand for something that is obvious. We owe it to our team to act in grace and forgiveness, but to be firm when needed.

Follow-up: This is the hard part and something I have done poorly in the past. Asking a leader to step down or removing them is tough and made tougher knowing that the process of restoration is likely to take a season. If it were like firing an employee that you never saw again it would be easier, but the reality in ministry that the process of restoration can be long, difficult and necessary. Our leaders commitment to mentor and growing our students should be a reflection of our commitment to mentor, grow our leaders even through the tough stuff. The Follow-up process should come from a heart of forgiveness and guidance to help your leader see what led to what happened and help them focus on restoration.

This is the stuff in Ministry that is not easy or enjoyable to deal with but is a necessary part of being a Pastor. God never gives up on us, even when we don’t honor commitments we made to Him. We have the opportunity to live that out through our leadership, when we make tough calls and choose to forgive and love in the midst of painful but necessary decisions. If we commit to our leaders, we need to be committing to the good times and bad and be a leader in all seasons.

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Be sure to check out his Twitter stream for awesome ministry goodness. Want to get in on the fun and write up a guest post yourself? See how right here.