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Josh GriffinMore Posts Saying Goodbye is Part of Youth Ministry

Here’s a shot from this weekend – we gathered up a bunch of students on stage to say goodbye to a couple of long-time staff members and friends. Jared (on staff a few years ago focusing on Student Leadership) and Alanna (on staff currently as worship/music coordinator) are headed to Virginia as youth workers at a great church there. Made me think about something I’ve been learning the last few weeks again – part of youth ministry is saying goodbye:

Goodbye to graduating seniors
This is the time of year when you have to say goodbye to students that have hit for the cycle and are heading out. Some seniors you may be pretty excited to say goodbye to and some you will literally shed tears over. Either way, saying goodbye is part of the gig.

Goodbye to great volunteers
The end of the school year is also a time when volunteers start to think about what’s next. Small group leaders that finish with seniors might think about moving to another ministry. Life stage changes mess with availability and commitments, and parting ways with your student ministry might be part of that evolution.

Goodbye to great members of the staff
This is the toughest – sometimes people on your church staff transition, too. This isn’t always a bad thing! Could be a great promotion, a clear calling from God, a chance to take a step of faith to whatever it is that God has next.

Of course, remember that the end doesn’t have to be the end. The relationships you build with students, volunteers and staff can last way beyond the years where your paths intersect directly. Either way, youth workers who come to terms with having to say goodbye is wise.

JG

2 View Comments June 2, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: My Job Description

Every weekend there’s an open spot for one GUEST POST on MoreThanDodgeball.com. Shoot yours to me today and if it makes the cut it’ll be set to go up in a few weeks! Send it in today and read this great guest post about a youth worker’s job description from Joe Thompson over at his blog, Beth’s Husband:

I have the privilege of helping to write my own job description. I’ve always had a job description, but to be honest, I hadn’t really looked at it and probably didn’t even have a copy of it until about a year ago. I work in one of those positions that it’s pretty much understood what I’m supposed to do. But recently, we’ve decided that we (the staff) need to have some job descriptions that are more updated and concrete. As I’ve been working with Rick (our senior minister) on mine I’ve learned a few things…

-It’s not easy! You would think that it’s not that big of a deal to basically boil down what a job is all about. But what I’ve found is that it’s not so simple to just say what my job is. It may be just the nature of the work I do, but how do you really define and lay out the idea that my job is to create opportunities for youth people to grow into Godly men and women. How do you set simple, tangible benchmarks for spiritually and maturity without just being hung up on the typical criteria of being good and doing good things. I’m not saying that it’s impossible. I think it is possible but it’s just not easy.

-It’s necessary vital! At first I thought it was just necessary to have a job description, but the more I thought about it the more I realized that it’s vital! Let’s face it…even though ministry is something that never ends and doesn’t always have a “job completed” point, ministers need to be able to look at what they’ve done at the end of the day or week or month or year and be able to say, “Yup, I did my job” or “Nope, I really missed what I’m supposed to be doing.” It’s not good enough to just say in vague terms what you’re “supposed” to be doing. I need to know what my leadership, students, and parents are expecting of me.

-It’s more than a job! The most important thing to remember when it comes to job descriptions especially for ministerial positions is that this is more than a job. People are more than consumers. And God/discipleship is more than a product. Some times the job has to take a backseat to ministry and you kind of just have to come alongside people and share in life. I guess in the long run, that’s what I love the most about my “job.”

It’s more than a job!

Add Comment May 29, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts How Church is Like Survivor

Really enjoyed Stephanie’s post over on Small Church Youth Ministry comparing the Survivor finale to church politics. Couple of things: 1) it isn’t just at small churches, sister! and 2) read with caution, it might sting a bit. Here’s a clip of her observations, head there for the rest:

“Alliances” — As they do in the game, so can alliances quickly change in a church. And the smaller the tribe (church) is, the more impact an alliance can have, positive or negative. SOLUTION: Eliminate your “parking lot conversations”; if its a conversation you don’t want others to hear, than its probably one you shouldn’t be having.

“Tribal Council” — Every church has a leadership board of some kind. The healthy council is one that reserves judgement until they ask questions and hear out the individuals or issues involved. In a church, no one should get voted “off the island,” shunned, rejected. SOLUTION: Scripture tells us to “bear one another’s burdens” and to “say only those things for lifting one another up.” Oh and there’s that “Love One Another” thing, too.

JG

Add Comment May 25, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts Book Review: Steering Through Chaos

Finished up reading Steering Through Chaos: Mapping a Clear direction for Your Church in the Midst of Transition and Change. It wins the award for the longest subtitle in book history – and it is a great read if you’re in transition. And let’s be honest, who isn’t? Even in a “change-friendly” church like Saddleback, there were great moments in the book where I nodded about resistance to change and the importance of early and strategic change to spur on more growth. Too often leaders are too eager to make change or miss the optimal window – both cause problems and division. One of the best keys in the book was recognizing the chaos that leadership creates when we make change, and how that is part of the process. It hits on a few familiar themes like authenticity and the leadership gap (with frequent nods to Good to Great, etc), and forges new learnings with chapters focusing on all too often overlooked prayer and celebration. The last couple of years in HSM has been nothing but change so lots to connect with for me, this book will help you navigate it in your church, too. Good stuff.

JG

Add Comment May 25, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts How to Handle Discipline in Your Small Group

FIRST … determine who really needs to be corrected:

If it is a group problem, address it as a group.

If it’s a couple of people, pull them aside together.

If it is an individual problem, address the individual.

THEN … talk to the appropriate people.

Pull them aside
Don’t pull off a major correction in front of the whole group; make sure you pull people aside after group time and begin a conversation. If you are fortunate enough to have a co-leader and the situation is distractive enough, the co-leader could remove the student.

Be clear on what they’re doing wrong
Address the problem directly. If it is causing a problem with the whole group, help the student to see how his or her actions are distracting everyone. Usually a student will know, but some are so self-absorbed, they don’t realize how they are affecting those around them.

Show grace
Be quick to show grace in this situation. You did it–you initiated the conversation and asked them to make the change. Be strong and firm, but followed quickly by love, mercy, and grace. The more seasoned the youth worker, the easier it usually is to show grace. If you are new to youth ministry, carefully temper your response. A line I used last night that had an immediate and positive response was, “You will never do that again.” Sometimes solving a behavioral issue will be that simple.

Look for and encourage correct behavior
Be on the lookout for when the student follows your rules–when you see it, make sure you comment on it and encourage the student when he or she has a good night. Your affirmation will be meaningful and restorative.

Followup later after a set amount of time
If appropriate, set a follow-up date to make sure that the student has made the appropriate changes. Use this time to build a stronger relational connection with your student–the bond will prevent it from happening again–or if it does happen again, you’ll have an open door to correcting the behavior.

JG

If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding. Fear of the Lord teaches wisdom; humility precedes honor (Proverbs 15:31-33).

Some suggested youth ministry resources to help small group leaders:

1 View Comments May 11, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts How to Get Creative

Liked Kurt’s post today about getting creative and out of a rut. Here’s a clip of his post – head to Simply Kurt for the rest:

If you’re like most people, you probably don’t consider yourself as being creative. Very few people do, and I think this may be because most of us have too narrow a definition of what “creativity” means and also because most people never practice being creative.

A New Definition of Creativity: Most people think being creative means inventing something out of nothing, or coming up with an idea that has never been thought of. I like to define creativity as simply being willing to think differently and try something new. That’s it. When faced with a project, an opportunity, a challenge, a problem etc. most of us will typically default to our normal pattern of addressing such things; usually patterns that have found success in the past, so we assume they will bring success again….and they often do. Creativity is simply the willingness to take our normal patterns of thinking a step or two farther by thinking differently and trying something new when faced with life’s scenarios.

JG

leadership

2 View Comments April 29, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts 3 Drawbacks of a Disconnected Leader

I’ve been gone a lot from our high school ministry recently. All good things – but mission trips, conferences, vacation and events all take their toll on the decision-making ability of me as the leader. As I’ve gotten back up to speed, I’ve tried to be keenly aware of these potential drawbacks of the disconnected leader:

Poorly informed decision-making
Being absent or disconnected results in making decisions in haste or in ignorance without all of the information. If you feel you’re being pressured into a major decision, you might need to table it. Too many rushed decisions have become regrets. Be decisive, don’t let indecision paralyze you, but make sure you’ve taken the time to gather the details so you are making the right call.

Lack of clarity / purposeless
In your absence, people make decisions without you – and they should! And while I love leadership at all levels and the decentralization of authority, a disconnected leader runs the risk of personal agendas appearing and potentially the purposes becoming less clear. Make sure you’re not the bottleneck and design your student ministry so you can be gone once in a while, just make sure there’s enough clarity to hang on until you get back.

Team morale dips
You’re the team leader, and many look for you for the optimism that fuels them toward goals. Being gone too much sends a signal to your team that you’re not “in it with them.” There are responsibilities (and privileges, honestly) that do carry me away from my team, but there’s a lot to be said for a leader who gets their hands dirty.

Here’s the zinger: you may be present but still be disconnected. Being present isn’t enough! Too many disconnected leaders are physically around, they just aren’t invested in their team’s lives. I want to be a leader that is present, connected and empowering all of us to accomplish our goals.

JG

1 View Comments April 19, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts HSM Weekend in Review: Volume 90

Weekend Teaching Series: Jason Petty’s Goodbye Weekend

Sermon in a Sentence: 3 thoughts from Jason as he leaves HSM
Service Length: 82 minutes

Understandable Message: Last weekend we were all at Angel Stadium for Easter services, and then immediately out the door to our New Mexico mission trip, so the past few weeks in HSM have been a whirlwind. And coming off of all that, this weekend we said goodbye to Jason Petty, a 4-year staff member of HSM. He’s been through several leadership transitions, the opening of The Refinery and much more, so he’s been a solid player through those times. He’s not sure what he’s doing next – but is feeling like God wants him to finish school, and probably work with young adults and make the move out of student ministry.

Volunteer/Student Involvement: The band was all student led, we had a good student choir as well, and volunteers greeted students and worked the room.

Element of Fun/Positive Environment: We didn’t have a ton of programmed fun – we had some fun trivia in the scrolling announcement slides, and we had a few elements within the message that were fun, too.

Music Playlist: Bye Bye Bye, We Shine, Inside Out, With Everything, Dancing Generation

Up Next: You Own the Weekend (1 0f 5, Trabuco Hills HS is up first)

Add Comment April 11, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts Common Youth Pastor Mistakes

Thought that RE Youth Pastor summed up some great mistakes youth pastors often make. I was able to mentally nod to each one of them, having committed pretty much all of them at some point in my experience as a youth worker. Here’s a couple to get you started, head there for the complete list of nine:

04. Underestimates adult leader recruitment
Again, youth pastors like to fly solo. Why waste so much energy developing leaders? It is difficult hearing NO from someone we know will be a great youth leader. It seems like the people who want to really help, are only wanting to help for selfish reasons. My advice: keep asking and praying God bring you more leaders.

05. Neglects the value of church
Many youth pastors alienates their youth ministry from church. It is really hard working the bigger church. It is soo much easier doing things by ourselves. Things get done quicker and more efficient. However Scriptures clearly commands the youth ministry department to get along with big church.

07. Love students, don’t love God
Students don’t need anymore “friends”. They actually really don’t want your friendship. They need more adults passionately following Jesus. Some times youth pastors reverse the greatest commandment: Love People, Love God.

JG

2 View Comments April 6, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts The Differences Between High School and Junior High Ministry

Kurt posted a series of great thoughts about the differences between high school and junior high ministry. Here’s a couple of them, head there for the rest:

- Your ministry is almost as much to parents as it is to junior highers. You have to keep them informed, you have to keep them excited about your ministry, you have to stay in their favor etc. Because they don’t drive, and because JH ministry does so much more “extra curricular” stuff than a typical children’s ministry, mom and dad’s willingness to shuttle their kids to and from your program is a major factor. You also have an incredible opportunity to provide a little bit of hope and help to parents who are new to raising a young teen.

- Lessons: Keep them short, simple and highly tangible.

- Relational time: You just can’t expect the same depth of conversation, “give and take” etc. when you are spending time with a junior higher.

JG