leadership | More Than Dodgeball

Geoff StewartMore Posts Pastor vs Advocate

There are a lot of different hats that we wear when leading students, from bus driver to fundraising champion, to cook,to first aid attendant, to counselor. But the two hats I find I wear most often are Pastor and Advocate. Stay with me here, because I strongly believe these are two roles that we have to perform, but require different skill sets and both are needed to lead effectively.

Pastor: Although the word only appears in the New Testament one time (Ephesians 4:11) it in many ways is the primary function of what we do. We lead and shepherd our students, leaders and parents week in and week out. This is such a rewarding and meaningful part of my role in the Church as we get to experience people encountering God is such a real way. I am called to be a Youth Pastor, to invest in our students and champion their cause in the Church. I cheer them on, intentionally pastor their leaders to foster spiritual growth of our students as well. The challenge is that sometimes making decisions that affect people, potentially negatively is difficult with my Pastor hat on because the pastor in me loves harmony and values shepherding, so its then I have to go into advocate mode.

Advocate: When I am in advocate mode, things are different and here is why. My role at the Church is to be the Pastor of High School Students and that means advocating for the needs of each student. The question I am constantly asking is, what do these students need from me, from their leader, from our youth group in order to grow in their relationship with God? I met with one of our leaders recently who had been slipping in his commitment to his small group and the results were obvious. When we sat down, the conversation quickly got to reminding this leader what it is that his students need from him:

- A leader that calls them each week and checks in and invites.

- A leader that engages them at youth and takes an interest in their life

- A leader that commits to praying for them

- A leader that shows up EVERY week.

I was firm, not harsh but reminded him that I am looking out for the needs of the students entrusted to me, and asked simply, “can you be the leader that these students need you to be?” Its was an honest question, and framed this way that leader could say yes, or no. Had they said no it would be understandable why we would need to find someone else to fill that role.

The same is true with events, retreats and camps as well when we ask, is this event the best things for the spiritual development of our students? Sure its fun, and well attended, but is there something that could be more effective.

When it comes to making tough decisions, its always with my advocate hat on, because when I am in that mode, I am more willing to take on challenges and situations that when I am in Pastor mode I might let linger. We owe it to our students to provide for them what they need, which is not always what they want at the time. My experience has been that leaders respond well to the challenge and as a team are more understanding of changes when framed within the cause of growth of our students.

GS – (TWITTER)

Add Comment April 2, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts GUEST POST: 3 Healthy Practices for Youth Ministry Fundraising

1) Help your students see the need. Fundraising is just like anything else in teen ministry that you want to be effective and successful, which means that your students to be “sold” on whatever the need is that you are raising funds for. It’s easy for them to see the need when it’s money being raised for them personally to go on a missions or teen summer trip. But if your raising money to build a clean water well in Africa, your going to have to be more creative in helping them see the need. Brainstorm and create short videos to help the teen visualize the need. Teach a three or four week series around the topic that you are raising funds for then use the fundraiser as a challenge to be a solution to the problem.

2) Balance “Youth Ministry” and “Kingdom” fundraising. Selfishness has been engrained into our society. Youth Ministry is no exception. Students sometimes choose the church they go to based on what they have to offer them (a bad spiritual habit they’ve picked up on from us adults). We have a responsibility to help students see beyond themselves. So once their lives have been transformed by Christ, then we need to help them to make an impact for the Kingdom. There are times to raise funds for a Youth Ministry need, but there are local and world ministry needs that we should rally our students behind. So many of our missionaries budgets have been cut back because of our economy. Why not partner with one of your church missionaries, and use the ideas above.

3) Weight the cost vs effort factor. Let’s be honest that if your group has to do fundraisers, you personally are are most likely getting burnt out on them. If you haven’t yet, you will get to the point where you want to get the most funds with the least effort. Time is vital to us in the world of ministry so we don’t want to waste it. There were car washes that I have done in the past that actually some how lost money instead of profited.

Jai Haulk is a Teen Minister at Ringgold Church of Christ in Hagerstown MD and is also a Fundraising Specialist with a ton of great opportunities for youth workers. Contact me if you have questions or are interested at (301) 331-1300 or jaihaulk@hotmail.com.

Add Comment March 31, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts Weigh In: Volume 17 – Marijuana and Ministry

We need your help! There are questions the come in that make us think, and others that make us say SHEESH, I am glad I haven’t had to deal with that yet. This is one of those questions. Someone wrote in and asked:

What policies do you have in place for adult volunteers that use medical marijuana?

Have you had to deal with it? Do you have a policy? Do you ask that the leader not share it, or be open about it? Lets help this person out.

GS

9 View Comments March 27, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts Absolutely Dangerous

I really like learning things, but NOT learning them the hard way and this is something that I have learned the hard way through my own actions and from the challenges it has brought up with some of our students. We have all been there, preaching to our students about something we are passionate about, something we know that many students are struggling with, you’re feeling it and take it off script and then…. It happens……

You throw down a absolute / blanket statement. You might not have noticed it happened, it might have been a throw away comment but the students heard it and they are thinking about it, reflecting on it and deciding if its true.

This is such a dangerous move; even if by accident, because when we say it, our students are going to assume its true and may act accordingly. A great example is a student named Mike that was in my small group for several years. He was solid, growing in his faith, making great choices, loving Jesus and didn’t struggle with much. We took our youth group to a local youth conference and the main session speaker came out with this uppercut:

“ I know that ALL of you guys are struggling with looking at pornography”

Fact: Mike had never been tempted by pornography in his life……. Until he heard that everyone was.

I have made absolute statements about guys and their intentions in dating that were hurtful, and I owned the comment, apologized the next week and wished I had never done it. But it was not fair to the guys and not fair to the girls who trusted that I was telling them the truth, the guys had ill intentions. I know of at least one student who has not come back since that night and that hurts

Absolute statements are rarely true, often hurtful and always dangerous and not worth it. Be careful, your flippant comment can have devastating consequences for the spiritual journey of a student who is trusting that the information you are bringing is true. Don’t learn the hard way like I have.

GS (Twitter)

Add Comment March 26, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 3 Things to Consider Before Becoming a Leader

Growing up I heard from a lot of the adults in my life that “leadership” was, in no uncertain terms, going to be a part of my future. At the time, it sounded like a great idea. Sure, I can lead others, and when I really thought about it, why shouldn’t others follow me? After all, I’ve got opinions, ideas, and to me they all sounded like pure gold.

Now that I am in a position of leadership, I wish someone had warned me about all that it entailed. It seems like everything these days comes with some kind of warning except leadership. There’s labels on clothes now that tell people not to iron the garment while wearing it! Sadly I ignored that label once, and found out why it was there. Even prescription medication is forced to come with warning labels. I think sometimes if leadership was a prescription drug the warning label might read like this:

“Leadership: WARNING – Some side affects of leadership may occur. These side affects may include but are not limited to uncontrollable pride, loss of sleep, loss of appetite, hair loss, weight gain/loss depending on your bodies natural response, stabbing sensation in back, consistent and at times and crippling fear of rejection and failure, loss of volunteers, unfair expectations, disappointment, some mild to moderate discomfort due to management/pastoral pressure may occur. Confrontation as well as loss of buy-in, dry mouth, and in some rare but serious cases occupational DEATH may occur. Please consult your physician before adding a regular dose of leadership to your life. Leadership is not for everyone, but if you’ve wondered what it’s like on the other side see if leadership might by right for you.”

Perhaps if this was attached to every leadership position we may think twice about jumping on board. It wasn’t until I jumped into, naively as it were, a leadership role in a large church situation that I learned how many areas of leadership I could really use growth in. I am fortunate to be in a position where I am being allowed to grow as a leader while still maintaining my position. Not everyone has that same luxury, so here are some things to consider before becoming a leader.

1) Being a leader means being a regular conflict.
There is no way to avoid it. Without a doubt if you are in a position of leadership then you will learn that you have a creepy, slimy, male pattern baldness inflicted little hobbit following you around and its name is conflict. Disagreement, miscommunication, and hurt are like golden rings that call out to the obsessive creature that is conflict. In order to be a leader it’s important to become a champion of conflict. Approaching it and acknowledging it when it first shows itself, addressing the why behind the issue, and observing patience, grace, and maturity while resolving it are critical to becoming a conflict champion.

2) Being a leader means being organized for the sake of others.
If you are a hyper organized person, please don’t think that this is something you can just skip. If you are someone who struggles with, hates, or fears structure and organization like the plague (this was me) please don’t run. This issue is critical to your success as a leader, and without it failure is eminent. Understand, organization for the sake of organization is not enough. It must be purposeful and intentional in its nature. Organization should be developed in order to communicate love and appreciation to those around you. Whether its the people who work alongside of you, work under you, volunteer, or are ministered to organization will communicate value and love to those people, and without it a leader will not last long.

3) Being a leader means being a follower first.
One of the most alluring aspects of leadership is the idea of “being in charge”. Often times leaders gravitate to positions of authority simply because of status, influence, and pride. Leadership is not all it’s cracked up to be. As a leader it is pivotal that you first become a follower. We must be willing to submit ourselves first to Christ as our ultimate authority. Not only Christ, but we must also emulate the role David took as a leader too. Even though he had been anointed as the next king of Israel he took on the role of armor bearer for Saul. He carried, and promoted his leader and followed him into battle. Don’t get into leadership if you’re stuck on being first.

Eric Upton is a youth pastor who blogs at Life in the Trenches and has contributed many guests posts here at More Than Dodgeball.

2 View Comments March 24, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts How Is Your Heart This Week?

I had such an incredible time at SYMC connecting with so many youth workers passionate about sharing Christ with the next generation. Of the countless people I connected with in Louisville there was one that stood out. He was a young ministry volunteer who was really excited about exploring the idea of going into vocational ministry one day and he was lucky enough to be brought to SYMC by the Pastor of the youth ministry he volunteered in. He was full of energy and a sense of calling to minister to High Schoolers and his gifting was obvious. I loved hearing his heart for students .

His Pastor on the other hand was another story… I asked if he was enjoying the conference and the he began to share is displeasure with many aspects of the conference especially how tired he was of some of the people teaching at it. He seemed so jaded and bitter toward many of aspects of Youth Ministry and the conference he had spent a lot of money to attend.

I had to ask myself, how does someone get to this place? Could my love and sense of calling turn into bitter resentment, could my desire to learn from educated experts turn into resentment by not being asked be one of them? Or worse, would my hard heart and frustrations become engrained in my ministry colleagues, volunteers and students and potentially taint their ministry experience?

It’s a really scary thought, so it begs the question. Where is your heart at this week?

Can I ask that together we guard are hearts from being hardened towards one another, to value the input that each of us can bring to the table from the unique contexts each of us are called to. We need to encourage one another and affirm what we see God doing through one another but also to honor those that have given their lives to equipping us as youth leaders. To honor those leaders who care deeply to equip leaders, not to make much of themselves but to make much of the Christ.

Take time this week to encourage someone on your team, a few of your students, your pastor, your mentor or maybe someone who has no idea the impact they have had on your life or ministry. We are all working to build the same Kingdom.

GS

Add Comment March 18, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts LeaderTreks Free Leadership Style Assessment

The gang over at LeaderTreks sent me a link to a new Leadership Assessment Tool they’re launching this week! It is totally free – just know that at the end of it to get your results they will require some info about you including your email. I just took the test – got some interesting results! Would encourage you (and your team) to take it and talk about it at your next meeting together!

If you look around and carefully observe leaders in action, you will notice that different people lead in different ways. Every leader is unique, but some leaders are more effective than others. Effective leaders are responsive to their followers and are able to provide what the team or group needs at the time when they need it.

This tool will help you learn more about your leadership style. The following questions will help you discover your tendencies as you lead. As with any assessment, your results will only be as accurate as the answers you give. Be sure to answer based on who you really are, not who you would like to be or who others think you ought to be.

Take the LeaderTreks Leadership Assessment Test right here!

JG

Add Comment March 15, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts 5 Bits of Fatherly Advice to the Youth Pastor

Loved this post over on Tony Morgan’s blog from a father of 4 to the youth pastor. Here’s a clip, definitely worth the trip to get the rest:

1.Don’t have Bible studies on Sunday morning, but encourage my kids to serve. As a parent, I’m constantly battling everything in culture that’s telling my kids, “Life is all about YOU.” I don’t need my church to be compounding that challenge. Please help me parent my kids by encouraging them to serve other people. In the long run, learning to serve will ultimately keep them connected to the church after they graduate. Likely the additional Bible study will not.

2.Provide leadership opportunities for my kids. When we become Christ-followers, we receive spiritual gifts. God doesn’t hold on to those gifts until we become adults. In other words, students can also have the spiritual gift of leadership. If you don’t offer opportunities for my kids, they’ll check out of your student ministry and find another organization where they can use their gifts.

3.Don’t meet on Sunday night if at all possible. It’s true that there are no school activities on Sunday nights, but Sundays are a very busy evening for my kids. Every bit of homework and test preparation that needs to happen before Monday takes place on Sunday nights, because it certainly didn’t happen on Friday night or Saturday. At all three churches where I’ve served, the midweek student gatherings were always better attended than the Sunday evening gatherings. I know. There will be seasons when athletes may not be able to participate…though you can probably still accommodate them. I believe one of the key reasons midweek is stronger is because my kids can invite their friends at school that afternoon.

JG

4 View Comments March 9, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts My Leadership Pillars

When Kurt came up with the idea of Leadership Pillars – I honestly hadn’t thought about it much. As I processed some key things that I value or repeat as a leader, these 4 things rose to the top:

Build fun into everything
I love to have fun! I don’t think it is just my personality, I think everyone enjoys a good time. I want people around me to enjoy their interaction and time with me – it doesn’t mean I’ll always be happy or I’ll avoid a tough conversation – what I do hope it means is that in a typical day we’ll laugh and play together as we serve God.

It also means that when we gather as a small group, we’ll spend half of the night killing it, the other half in the Word. It means that when we gather as a large group, we’ll laugh as God’s truth goes down. Let’s have some fun.

Lead with optimism
My leadership style lends itself to seeing a future of what could be, not necessarily the painful road of difficulty to get there. If you’re going to be around me very long, you’ll quickly realize I’m going to think of the end result first. I can still problem solve and understand the challenges of the real-world; I just prefer to see the future without cursing the roadblocks all day long.

The best idea wins
I love brainstorming – and no single person has an embargo on good ideas. Collaboration is my favorite word in the dictionary. Even if someone’s ideas aren’t the best – often a riff off of them or a trigger will bring about the best idea. I love to get people together and come up with ideas – it gives us a huge pile of ideas to choose from instead of one person in a lonely place of leadership hoping what they do is right or relevant. We can do it. Together.

Conflict leads to peace
Difficult conversations need to happen – if they don’t , something small will inevitably grow into something significant and potentially rectifying. I’ve led through this well, andI’ve led through this poorly. But I do know that a little conflict is good for everyone, painful as it is.

What are your leadership pillars?

JG

Add Comment March 8, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts THIS is Why I Breathe

Most people don’t understand what I do
When I tell them I’m a YOUTH WORKER they
Put their hand on my should and say with a sigh
“I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU DO IT”

And occasionally I still get asked when I’m going to be a “REAL PASTOR” or “WHEN I WILL BE TOO OLD FOR THIS” but they don’t get it: THIS IS WHY I BREATHE
· I live for the CRAZINESS OF CAMP it is there I most remember God’s call
· I live for the MESS OF MY SMALL GROUP because I know God will make something BEAUTIFUL
· On a shopping run for the overnighter I almost wait with anticipation for the checkout lady to ask WHAT IS ALL OF THIS FOR?
· I live for the LIFE-CHANGING CONVERSATIONS even if they happen between the hours of 2-4AM on a mission trip

The long hours, the challenging work, the highs and lows … the office in the church basement …it all doesn’t matter to me. This is why I am on the earth. This is why God made me.

I was created by HIM. For THEM.

THIS. IS WHY. I BREATHE.

JG