mentor | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts What If Our Tweets Were Real?

I love Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. I usually find myself on each one of them at some point nearly every day. There’s something great about reading about our friend’s lives 1000′s of miles away or chucking at someone’s pithy observation about life. But what if our Tweets were real?

My senior pastor is a jerk sometimes. I want to punch him in the face
I’ve been married 10 years, and still don’t have sex figured out
I’m pretty sure my whole youth group is filled with “that one kid”
The last time I read the Bible was in late 2012
I want to quit I want to quit I want to quit
Things aren’t good deep inside me, but the outside is as shiny as ever
If I could figure out where to dispose the body, I’d take out that parent

Don’t Tweet these! We need to continue to post those stunning sunsets, epic CS Lewis quotes and pictures of our no foam latte. I would die if my real life made it was genuinely Tweeted for the world to see, or pictures of my inner world made it online. But you need to be sharing it somewhere.

You need to have someone who knows the real you, not the brand, image or “always on” youth worker. You need to be able to confess, share, process and pray through the stuff you would never Tweet.

Simple question to kick off the week: is someone reading your real Tweets?

JG

6 View Comments January 21, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts Great Leaders Are Great Followers: Part 2

This week we’re focusing on leadership—specifically, the upside-down concept that to be a great leader you have to be a great follower. Yesterday we looked at Follow-Up and Following the Leader—here are two more.

Follow Jesus
We didn’t start with this one yesterday because it may have felt cliché to lead with this one—but it is the most important “following” out of all of them…hands down. Following Jesus can be easily faked, but the person who genuinely follows Jesus shines with an authenticity that is easily recognized. Be that person! If you want to be a truly great leader, make sure you follow the Leader.

Practical ways to get better at following Jesus: Find a resource that will help you spend time with Jesus every day. Download the YouVersion Bible app and pick a reading plan—be sure to set a reminder each day to give you a nudge in you haven’t marked it completed by noon.

Block out a little time for prayer before your lunch hour each day. Spend a month and only read the red letters in the gospels. Being more familiar with the ways of Jesus might actually help you follow him more closely!

Follow a mentor
Don’t risk doing youth ministry alone. You need a person who has been there before who can share wisdom with you from the journey. It doesn’t need to be someone in the exact same profession, but someone who can relate to your calling and shares some of the same passions. All great leaders have great mentors, if you want to be great be humble enough to learn from someone else today.

Practical ways to get better at following a mentor: Find a network in your area where you can gather and talk shop. Search online for a veteran youth minister in your area to help coach you. Find blogs, books, and resources that will help mentor you and push your development. Identify somebody in your congregation, from any profession, that you respect and ask them if they’d join you for coffee once in a while.

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.

1 View Comments December 3, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts An Encouraging Word

There is something so simple and powerful about encouragement from a youth ministry cheerleader. My friend Doug Fields shot me this note about a month ago and I think I’ve literally read it about 50 times. And of course it came at the perfect time.

I was hanging out with him last night and made me so thankful for his role in my life. Make sure you have a cheerleader. It is rough out there sometimes.

JG

1 View Comments September 4, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Buck the Stats

Our profession has a problem. If you believe statistics (and 89 percent of you do), you’ll be searching for a job on Monster.com in about 36 months. I’ve joked with my friend Doug Fields that his book Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry will always be a bestseller.

This painful turnover needs to stop. It won’t be easy because many youth workers end up wounded soon after the honeymoon ends. We begin anticipating attacks (not teamwork) and jeers (not cheers). But despite all the challenges, you can stay strong for the long haul with these “lifer” tips:

• Hold some stuff sacred. To increase your chances of lasting in ministry, it’s essential to set boundaries on your time and life. Do you take a day off every week? A break might be difficult during an occasional week-before-summer-camp, but if you’re cheating too often, you won’t survive. Do you rest and exercise regularly? How’s your family life? Having a long view of ministry means putting family first. There’s a connection between your faithfulness to your spouse and your faithfulness to God. You have a problem if you’re constantly looking at your phone instead of at your own children (56 percent of you have them).

• Let some things go. Too often, youth workers want to fight over things that don’t really matter. We take a stand when we should sit down, and we speak up when we probably should shut up. If you fight for everything 100 percent of the time, you’ll be too wounded to endure. Over time, you’ll begin to understand what’s truly worth fighting for. Pause today to reflect on some things you might be grasping too tightly.

• Surround yourself with the right people. To build and maintain a long-term ministry, you’ll need the right people in your life. You’ll need: 1) a ministry cheerleader, 2) a ministry mentor, and 3) someone who doesn’t know you work at a church. Who’s cheering you on? Who’s in the stands watching you and yelling encouragement? (Eighty-eight percent of us have someone yelling at us…but it isn’t encouragement.) Who’s the wise sage nudging you on with practical wisdom? Who do you hang out with who cares nothing about your career? These people are sustaining and life-giving, and they’ll make a huge difference.

Live out of these truths and you’ll have a much greater chance of becoming a youth ministry lifer—not a statistic.

Originally appeared in the March/April issue of Group Magazine. Don’t get the magazine yet? Hit this link to subscribe and get in on the action today!

1 View Comments May 3, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Youth Pastors … Hang in There

I (Josh) remember during one of my most painful seasons in ministry I got an email from a fellow youth pastor. The message was short and sweet — it consisted of 3 words:

“Hang in there.”

Today I’m heading into a painful meeting with a volunteer. He needs to be removed for us to move forward. I had a tough interaction with a parent who was upset about an illustration I used during our recent series on relationships. I had to call out someone for spreading gossip and hurting the unity of our church. It feels like every day this week I’ve been hit with something big or tasked with something extraordinarily difficult. What I need someone to say to me right now is, “Hang in there.”

Thankfully I’ve got some genuine cheerleaders on the sidelines of our ministry. They realize the long hours, tough conversations and painful weeks in ministry add up and, if unchecked, run you straight into burnout. I’ve heard a ton of encouraging words this week that even in a season like this — God isn’t quite done with me at this place. That even when things are tough, God is good and faithful. Remidners that He is changing lives even when the circumstances around our ministry are less than ideal.

So today, please hear this from me: Hang in there.

Fight the battles you need to fight today. Be strong where strength is needed and give in and be weak when it doesn’t really matter. Ask your mentor for prayer this week, grab coffee with a friend in your youth ministry network so you can vent and then gear up for another run.

No one said youth ministry was going to be easy. In fact, I think Jesus might have said our lives would be just the opposite.* But know that He is faithful and is building and shaping you and the people around you. I would imagine that you’re probably not done where He’s got you — that maybe you need to bloom where you’re planted, even if there is a little frost on the ground this morning.

So hang in there. And please remind me of this article the next time I’m about to quit, too.

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.

3 View Comments December 5, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts The Importance of a Youth Ministry Yoda in Your Life

Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, Gandalf, Albus Dumbledore.

In just about every good story, the young hero has an older, wiser mentor; one who has traveled a similar journey at an earlier point. At a critical moment in the story, the hero consults the wise old sage for wisdom and encouragement in the journey. Hope is all but loss — the odds are against him — it looks impossible. The wise mentor shares some observations, a bit of wisdom and a few insider secrets only a mentor would know to help the young man on his journey. The hero now fully embraces his true calling and goes up against those odds to defeat the Dark Side, the fire-breathing dragon or The One Who Shall Not Be Named (Only a nerd like Josh would know the above stories well enough to use them in an analogy like this!).

Wikipedia describes this wise character this way:

This type of character is typically represented as a kind and wise, older father-type figure that uses personal knowledge of people and the world to help tell stories and offer guidance that, in a mystical way, may impress upon his audience a sense of who they are and who they might become, thereby acting as a mentor.

You are a youth ministry hero. You are on a journey. And you need the wisdom of a mentor.

In the youth ministry journey there are ups, downs, traps, pitfalls and frustrations. To have access to a ministry Yoda or the wisdom of a former youth pastor is critical to your success. You need a wise old soul in your life. You need someone who is ready with his or her wisdom, counsel and sound judgment. Youth ministry is an adventurous journey that you shouldn’t attempt to navigate on your own.

It has been said that “Mentoring is God’s way to lift another toward their full potential.” The Bible puts it this way, “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.” (Proverbs 12:15)

You may be brand new, and your youth ministry adventure is just beginning. You may be facing some “enemies” that are trying to disrupt your path. You may be feeling lost and in need of guidance. Or you may feel like an unstoppable force who doesn’t need some old fart sharing stuff from the past that you don’t think is of any benefit to you and your future (you would be wrong, of course)!

Wherever you find yourself today, we hope you’ll consider the following:

Add Comment November 10, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts A Safe Person Outside of Your Youth Ministry

Last night I spent some significant time with a great friend well outside of the day-to-day operations of our church.

He’s one of the few people that understands and gets me and what I do more than anyone else. He was a youth pastor in the past and his insight, wisdom and listening ear alone made me walk away refreshed and ready to take on the challenges of another season of youth ministry.

Reflecting on it this morning made me so thankful to have him in my life, and brought back memories of that dark period early in my career when I did youth ministry alone. I didn’t know better. I was a lone ranger. I was living dangerously. And today I just wanted to encourage you to find someone like this in your life – they’ll be more valuable to you then you will ever know:

You need a safe person to vent to when things get tough
You need someone with an outside perspective to shine some light on things
You need someone who will set you straight when you’re wrong
Sometimes you just need someone to listen to your thoughts
We all want someone to cheer us on

You can get some of these things from a youth worker network, from podcasts and even blogs to a degree. But there’s nothing better than a late night hang at Denny’s with a real friend with no agenda.

Don’t stop searching until you find one.

JG

4 View Comments July 27, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts 4 Ways to Fight Fatigue in Youth Ministry

Was reading my friend Matt McGill’s blog earlier and he mentioned how he made a mistake because he was tired. We’ve all been there! Made me think of the ways youth workers need to fight fatigue in ministry. Here’s what I attempt to do:

Be refreshed by friends
Sometimes just the ticket you need is hanging with people (I supposed the opposite could be true for some personalities). Maybe there’s some friend who you could bounce your ideas and frustrations off of, or maybe there’s a friend outside of youth ministry that you could hang with and not even begin to approach talking shop. Either type of person you may need, make sure you carve out some time to spend with them.

Make the big decision that’s been draining you
Often times a game-changing or potentially painful decision sits right in front of you and robs you of your passion and energy. Make the call! You might be surprised at the freedom and renewed excitement you feel once you get that out of the way. If it is a tough conversation, pray about it and then have it. Tackle that energy-busting obstacle you’ve been putting off.

Do something fun
Youth ministry fatigue usually sets in when you aren’t getting enough rest or are all work and no play. So find an afternoon soon where you can get away for a few hours and relax.

Get away from it all
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about feeling drained without just simple taking some time off. This week I’m nearly completely offline (any posts that you read on the blog have been set to post each day automatically) and spending time with the family. Fight fatigue with fun. Hit the beach. Go to Disneyland. Leave your laptop, turn off your phone and get away.

What do you do to fight fatigue?

JG