prayer | More Than Dodgeball

Colton HarkerMore Posts Are You Holding Your Students Back?

Our team just finished up a book called, “Way of the Heart” by Henri J, M, Nouwen. The book brought up a lot of interesting and challenging questions for myself. The biggest one being, “Am I actually believing in students, or am I just holding them back?”

In every ministry, there are always “those” students. Those students that are just hard to love. Whether they are annoying, obnoxious, etc, they are the ones that push us and help us learn to love better… to put it nicely. But, sometimes, it gets to the point where we only see those students by their behavior. We pigeon hole them into being “that” person. When we only see a student as obnoxious, they can’t do anything but be obnoxious to us. And when we are forcing our perception on them, we are holding them back.

Bottom line, we can’t actually believe in students if we don’t abandon the negative perception we have of them. As pastors and mentors, we need to be helping students find out who they are in Christ, help them see themselves as Christ sees them. If we are only seeing these students they are at now, we can’t look at where they could be, making it impossible to bring them there!

Take a second today to think of a few of those hard to love students in your ministry. Pray that your start to see them how Christ sees them. Pray that you stop holding them back, and start believing in them.

Colton [Email||Twitter]

2 View Comments May 3, 2013

Colton HarkerMore Posts Student Leadership Lesson: Preparing for Crisis

This weekend was the conclusion of our You Own the Weekend series and it really went out with a bang! They had great stage design, great music, and most importantly, great speakers. One of the speakers was talking about man in crisis. He said that everyone is either about to be in crisis, already is in crisis, or just getting out of crisis. I thought this is a really interesting way to look at it.

As youth pastors, we often see students (and adults) in the middle of a crisis. At this point, they are in survival mode. We have to focus of damage control and how to get through it. Luckily, we often get to lead students to the last part of the process, getting out of crisis. It is here that we get to reflect on what the Lord has done because of the situation and students get to learn about themselves and God… incredible!

But I don’t think that we put nearly as much effort into the first part. We hardly acknowledge the fact that our “summer” will eventually turn into a “winter.” Because of this, we don’t really prepare before hand for the upcoming crisis, leaving us vulnerable and, ultimately, forced into damage control.

This is something I brought up to our student leaders. I told them that crisis doesn’t always mean that parents are getting divorced or siblings are sick, crisis can be those problems that we run into while we are leading a project. Like when the girl that you delegated a huge portion of the event to didn’t pull through. Or when your principal continually shuts down any event your Christian club tries to throw. While those might not be what most people would call a crisis, I think that those can lead to a crisis of the heart. Those situations can easily cause someone to react sinfully in their mind, hearts, words, or actions (or all four!). So how do we prepare for these “crises?”

The answer is prayer. Praying that you are prepared with what it takes to handle the situation that you are going to be going through. This weekend, we had our student leaders read Galatians 5 and talk through the fruits of the spirit. We had them think about each word, talk about what scripture has to say about it, and find out why it is an important characteristic of a leader. We then hung up a sign for each fruit around the room and gave them time to walk around and stop at each one, praying that God blesses them with a better understanding of the fruit and that He allows them to live it out.

I think it is a great lesson for leaders in general (not just student leaders). This worked really well with our student leadership team and I think it could be a win with others as well! Hope it helps!

Colton [Email||Twitter]

Add Comment April 25, 2013

Geoff StewartMore Posts GUEST POST: Living in Unity

I am increasingly convinced that one of the most powerful things a church can do in their area is live in complete unity with other churches.

We have all experienced moments where churches were anything but unified. Times when you instantly understand that we have somehow missed the point. I’ve also seen communities where churches do a decent job of being at peace with one another. As in, you do your thing and we’ll do our thing and as long as your thing doesn’t mess with our thing, then its all good. That is nice and all, but I do believe that it is possible to do more than just get along. I do believe it is possible to live in unity; joined together as one.

Here are four things I think will help you fight for unity among churches in your area.

Pray - Jesus prayed, in John 17:20-23, that the disciples would experience complete unity, so that the world would know the truth about God’s love for them. We should pray for the same thing. Pray that God would break down the walls of territorialism amongst churches in your area. God, remind us that we are on the same team.

Celebrate the Wins - Often, it is easy to celebrate the success of a Church, or a Student Ministry, on the other side of the country, but what about the one across the street or down the block?

One thing that we do in our area is host Quarterly “All-Staff” Meetings. It is basically a collective staff meeting. Each time a different church will host as we come together for prayer, free breakfast (provided by the host church, or a local Chick-fil-A), worship, and teaching from the hosting Senior Pastor. It is absolutely beautiful. We celebrate everything that God is doing in our churches, in our region, and we remind ourselves that we are in it together as we attempt to minister to the 1.3 millionlost people in our County.

Youth Ministry “Network” meetings are another invaluable thing you can do in your area. Simply bring local Student Pastors together regularly for prayer. Consider hosting community-wide events together.

Ask the Hard Questions - How many students and/or families do you have that come to visit from other churches? What do you say when they tell you where they are from? Do you know the pastor’s name? Do you know what is going on there? Can you encourage them, “Man, we love your church. Do you know Pastor Dave? He is a great friend of mine. Loved hearing about your Mission Trip last summer, were you a part of that?” As much as it depends on you, encourage students and families to bloom where they are planted.

Ask yourself: Is our ministry constantly welcoming Christians that we’ve traded with the place down the street, or are we consistently welcoming the lost? If you’re doing a lot of trading, what you have to realize is that, at some point, for your ministry to “succeed” the one down the street has to fail. That’s not right, and something has to change.

Guard Your Tongue - The extent to which we are prone to tear down brothers and sisters in Christ never ceases to amazes me. It happens in casual conversation, it happens on blogs, it happens in 140 characters or less… Very simply, there is no room in the Kingdom of God to bash other believers. Lovingly correct them? Yes. But that is done directly and privately before anything else.

I just wonder if it is time for people to know churches less by what divides us and more by what unites us. If the goal is to grow in the image and likeness of Jesus, and point others towards a saving knowledge of Him, then I’m in.

May our churches be marked by a spirit of unity.

Ryan McDermott is the Director of Student Ministries at the Royal Palm Campus of Christ Fellowship Church in South Florida. Follow him @ryanmcdermott and check out the church at gochristfellowship.com.

3 View Comments February 18, 2013

Chris WesleyMore Posts How To Grind It Out

There are those days in youth ministry where it feels like you are running through mud. They are slow, there is no significant progress and the only thing moving is your blood pressure rising from the frustration you feel. I can’t tell you when these days will come, they just seem to emerge and when they do they are awful. So what do you do when ministry is mud?

YOU GRIND IT OUT

That means having a plan that is going to help you move forward, no matter how hard it is to be creative or productive. To develop that plan means:

Setting A Firm Schedule: A framework to your day will make sure you aren’t wearing yourself out. That means start time and stop times. Breaks and times when you just sit back and learn. During the times that you schedule for writing, creating and developing you may notice little fruit; however, having the framework will make sure you aren’t dwelling too long in the frustration they might bring.

Fuel And Rest Up: Just like an athlete when the days get hard you need to make sure your energy level is at it’s highest. That means not staying up later, eating right and taking care of your body. Sometimes the writer’s block that you feel is because you are tired or not feeling well. It’s at these times when it’s important for you to focus on your health and not your productivity.

Become A Learner: You could simply be out of ideas. Taking the time you would usually write and create and devote it to reading, watching podcasts or meeting with other youth workers. Listening to others and reading their thoughts will sometimes kickstart the productivity engine. Just make sure anything that develops you write down.

Spend Time In Prayer: When you are in a void of ideas it’s easy to feel disconnected. The best way to reignite this connection is to talk with God. I find that quiet time in scripture calms me down and takes away the frustration that I may feel when it comes to a writer’s block, lack of ideas or a hard day at work.

Youth ministry is just like any industry where you’ll find moments where you just need to grind it out. Do not stress, just go to a plan that will help you move forward. Stay focused, put your head down and lean in. Remember these seasons are temporary.

What would you add to the plan?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

4 View Comments February 5, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: I’ll Pray For You

I’ll pray for you…

How many times have you said those words? Now how many times have you acted on it. These words have been a constant failure for me. I say it and sometimes I do it and other times I don’t.

Prayer is the right response to anything good or bad. Prayer has power but prayer is hard. Even if I say I will pray for someone I often find myself shooting up a quick prayer (which is good) but I fail to follow up or pray about it again.

Recently I felt super convicted about this. I said I would pray for someone then forgot about it. A week or two later it dawned on me that I forgot to pray about it. While it may not have directly affected anything in my heart I knew it was something to get better at.

Lately, I have been pumped because I have been good about it on small and large scale things: From a coworker whose kid has been sick, to a student who took a huge bail skiing and went to the hospital. And I am proud to say that I have even followed up on these things.

Saying you will pray for someone can really turn their day, week or even year around. All some people need is a prayer and we have the capacity to help them with that. The problem is we need to do it.

For many people this isn’t a particularly profound step. You are likely thinking good job covering the basics. But I truly believe that anytime we make an improvement in our disciplines God is smiling down. While I may not be anywhere near being called a prayer warrior yet, I sure hope to get there before I die.

Kyle Corbin has been serving youth as a volunteer or pastor for over 10 years. He is currently the youth pastor at the Bridge Church in North Vancouver B.C. You can follow his blog at: kylecorbin.blogspot.com or Twitter: @CorbinKyle.

2 View Comments January 26, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Dear Jesus

A practice I have recently begun is writing letters to Jesus. If you’re anything like me, taking a time of silent prayer can be tough. It’s quite strange because, well, I like to talk. I think the trouble comes because sometimes prayer feels like I’m talking to myself. I’m probably doing that most of the time anyway, so it should feel normal. For some reason it can be hard to articulate thoughts and prayers to God. Though He already knows what I want to say, what I am going to say, and what I truly mean with what I’m saying. He knows more about what I am going to say than I could ever imagine. Therein lies the problem: all these thoughts run through my head and distract me from the purpose behind what I am doing.

This is where the letters come in. I write letters to Jesus to keep me focused in my time of prayer. I thank Him for things He has done in my life. I ask Him for things I want, or write questions I have for Him. I not only get to think about what I am writing, but the process of writing itself is enough to quiet my mind and allow for open communication with my creator. The purpose behind the writing is to be able to spend a significant amount of time with Jesus. Whatever it is that gets written down doesn’t really matter. It’s about spending time with Jesus in a way that allows for intimacy with Him.

There are a few huge benefits from writing a letter to God. First, it allows for reflection. You can look back on the letters of prayer that have been written and see to which ones God replied with a yes, and which ones He replied with a no. You can see how certain prayers affected your everyday living, or how the effect of a certain situation turned out. You can look back and see growth through the letters you’ve written. Another great benefit is that there is no grade. You can write whatever style, grammatical structure (or lack thereof) that you see fit. If you want to write 1000 words in one sentence or paragraph, do it! If you’re more comfortable writing in a specific style such as MLA, APA or Turabian it is entirely up to you. This is helpful because it takes away the need for perfectionism. It’s a letter to a God who created all styles, fonts, colors, types, words or anything else you could come up with; He gets it.

I chose letter format to help personalize my interaction with God. This is an excerpt from a letter I wrote, “Search my heart Lord and bring out Yourself in me. I am not, but I know I AM. Words that until recently never really sunk in. I know that I have issues with pride… This is my biggest downfall. Fortunately, you redeem, restore and renew. This means that I still must work at it, but ultimately your strength is what changes those things in me.” Being raw and genuine with the Lord has made me feel completely new, but that’s not to say writing a letter to God doesn’t come with a few challenges also.

The one challenge in my letters so far has been, “How does God respond?” Where is there room for Him to speak into it? I haven’t found the answer to that yet but, it is entirely up to Jesus. Whether He chooses to inspire you to write a specific prayer down, give you an audible answer, or miraculously type something out for you, I can’t say for sure. I can say, however, that God is in the business of answering prayers. If this can be a way for you to connect with Jesus in an intimate way as it has been for me, then that in itself is a reward worth having.

Travis Lodes is the Student Ministries Intern at Cherry Creek Presbyterian Church in Englewood, CO. Feel free to leave comments or email him at tlodes@gmail.com.

Add Comment January 6, 2013

Josh GriffinMore Posts 5 Ways to Pray for Your Small Group Leaders

Was digging through some old files on our student ministry archives, and found this simple gem on how to pray for your small group leaders. Not sure who to credit (probably Matt McGill or Doug Fields). Good stuff here:

Put a couple calendar reminders for each day of your week as a reminder to pray for your small group leaders. (i.e. I pray for Bob and Jim on Tuesdays, Sue and Sammy on Wednesdays, etc,)
Look up the list of students in their small group and pray for each of them by name.
Pray for something very specific to happen with their small group. Send them an email letting them know about your prayer.
Put a post-it on your dashboard with one leader’s name and every time you get in your car to drive to work or small group…pray for that leader. Change it each week.
Write a letter to God on a postcard that is a prayer for that small group leader and send it to them in the mail.

JG

Add Comment December 17, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Student Leadership Challenges

Our first annual Student Leadership Christmas party is just around the corner and I can’t be more excited! Because they work so hard and give so much to our church, we want to go all out with this party to show them how much our ministry appreciates them!

Now it wouldn’t be a true Christmas party if we didn’t have gifts! We wanted to make sure that each student walked away from the party with an awesome gift (and I’m not talking about the 1993 VHS Workout tapes they are going to get at the “white elephant” gift exchange). We wanted them to get something that was well thoughtful and picked out just for them. So this Christmas we decided to write each student leader an individual challenge that would grow them not only as a Christian leader, but as a Christ follower as well.

If this sounds like something you would want to do for your Student Leadership team, here are some tips to get started:

-Pray! Pray that God speaks through you as you write to your students. Pray that the Lord give you wisdom, discernment, and insight as you speak into their lives and continue to shape them into godly leaders.

-Think about what they’ve done and what they’re doing to discover what they can do. What could your students be doing to take their ministries or projects to the next level? Challenge them to think big and “outside the box.” Also reflect on how you’ve seen them lead in the past. Is there a leadership characteristic that they can grow in?

-Think about who they are. Get inspired by a student’s talents, gifts, passions, and even their experiences. Think of ways that they can be using their shape for ministry. Is one of your students really passionate about prayer? Challenge them to think of more ways to integrate prayer into your ministry. Was a student in and out of the hospital as a kid? Ask them how God wants to use their experience for His kingdom.

-It’s okay to use similar challenges for multiple students! Don’t focus finding a completely different challenge for every student. Focus on finding ways to grow each student as a Christian leader. Most of the time, there will be more than a couple students who would benefit from the same task. For example, many of our seniors are being challenged to mentor a younger student. We believe that it would be a great next move for each of them

-Try to get specific. As I said, it is okay to use the same challenge for many students but, when you can, try to get specific. For example, we have a senior named Cassie that would be a great mentor for a younger girl. Another student leader, McKenna, recently told me that she really looks up to Cassie and wishes that they were closer. So I challenged Cassie to have an intentional relationship with McKenna. If you see an opportunity like that, take it!

-If you can’t think of one, find someone that can. If you come across a student and have no idea how to challenge them, ask someone that would. Find an adult that knows the student personally or has seen their leadership in action.

Have you done something similar in the past? What tips would you give?

Colton Harker is the Student Leadership Coordinator at Saddleback HSM. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact him at coltonharker@gmail.com or on twitter at @ColtonHarker.