prayer | More Than Dodgeball

Chris WesleyMore Posts Make Your Meeting A Small Group

Doesn’t matter if my small group is 6 in the morning or 6 at night, when I’m leaving I’m feeling empowered and refreshed. Doesn’t matter if a meeting is 6 in the morning or 6 at night, when I’m leaving I can feel drained and stressed. When you think about it, small groups are a lot like a meeting in the sense that:

It’s A Group Of People
There Is A Leader
There Is A Subject Driving The Conversation

So, why is one resented and the other embraced?

The intention of going into a small group is to build one another up. In a meeting while there are goals to accomplish, they can easily become battlefields that tear one another down. While confrontation and tension can be healthy, if your meetings took a page out of the small group handbook, people could leave a little more refreshed than defeated.

To make your meeting like a small group, make sure you:

PRAY TOGETHER: You probably start a meeting out with prayer; however, do not rush through it. Feel free to sit in the silence, to ask God to send down the Spirit through the conversations. Ask God to open hearts and minds to new ideas. Just hand it over to Him, let God lead your meetings.

SHARE LIFE TOGETHER: Just as you use the scripture, questions and teaching to drive your groups conversation, develop an agenda that does the same. When you put together the small group curriculum it’s important to consider the flow of questions and scripture. It will create a mood and bring people to certain conclusions. The topics on your meeting’s agenda will do the same. There will be times when you will have to hold off on a topic because of the tension in the room. There will be other times when another item will need more attention because of the weight it holds. Don’t just throw the agenda together, pray over it and allow it to move the conversation.

CHALLENGE EACH OTHER:A healthy small group not only has time for information and discussion; but, time for application and challenge. In a meeting the application to the information you discussed is called an action step. When you leave a small group you should feel commissioned to resolve and test the conversation you shared. In a meeting it’s pointless to just discuss items and not walk away with a plan.

PRAY FOR ONE ANOTHER: Whether the conversation is positive or negative you’ve just endured spiritual battle in your small group. Before you head off in the world it’s important for a small group to pray for one another. In a meeting the action steps that have been delegated are going to face adversity and obstacles. If you can pray for the people in your meeting, then you are giving them the comfort that they are not facing their responsibilities alone.

Granted not all meetings are as thorough as a small group. Sometimes you just need to check-in and move out. Next time you are planning that big meeting and preparing the agenda, take the time to discern the emotional and spiritual journey it will take the group on. If you approach that meeting like a small group, you’ll help your team leave empowered to take on the obstacles outside the organization instead of defeated to take on the obstacles within the team.

How do you ensure people leave meetings feeling motivated?

Chris Wesley (@chrisrwesley)

3 View Comments December 6, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: We Pray Just to Make it Today

I just got back from the a youth ministry conference and as always I had an amazing time. I was encouraged, convicted, inspired, met new people and reconnected to old friends. One of the things I have learned at most events is that if I don’t quickly narrow down my trip to be about a few things I will become overwhelmed and not really gain anything from it. I have described it to others like drinking from a fire hose.

This year I decided to gravitate towards two things. One was student leadership. Too much of my ministry is about myself, my efforts, and my personality. The second, and truthfully how I am going to get to the first, is on prayer. If there is ever a subject that most believers can resonate with is that their prayer life is going poorly. Or at the very least it could get better.

With that conviction, I attended a seminar on both student leadership and implementing prayer within your ministry. Timothy Eldred, the seminar speaker and author of Pray21 pushed his audience to hand off ministry but do it by starting with a 21-day challenge. Partner up every willing student with a willing (and screened) adult. Then have them pray together for 21 days through a simple (his words, not mine) daily, devotional.

Call it coincidence or God’s timing, but we were already teaching on prayer the next three weeks. So we decided to toss it out there as an offer. At the end of the first week we asked if any one would be willing to take the challenge to join us in prayer for 21 days with a partner. We got thirty students and thirty adults to jump into this together. We challenged them to pray for a few reasons:

Prayer works
It is a time to realign our heart to God’s
Through prayer, God will reveal things about ourselves that we would have never seen without that time and sacrifice.

We made it as simple as possible for a few reasons. I don’t need one more thing to micromanage, and if you make it too complicated people won’t do it. So we said that if you sign up you are:

Agreeing to pray for 21 days with an assigned partner. You are praying WITH that person, not for them.
You will contact your partner through phone calls, email, Facebook, text, face-to-face interaction.
If you miss a few days keep praying. You are better off doing Pray17 than Pray0.

We email out daily reminders that have been written by an intern and myself . It has been so fun to hear the stories and we are only one week in! I can’t believe it took a book to partner up every willing student with every willing adult.

I encourage you to check out Timothy Eldred’s web site and get some details. (www.pray21.com) He is a wise man, good teacher, and generous with resources and suggestions. For us and our ministry, I am optimistically hopeful for what God is doing in the lives of 60 people individually and collectively.

Jeff Bachman is the High School Pastor at Rock Harbor Church just up the road in Irvine, CA. Feel free to leave comments or email him at jbachman@rockharbor.org and of course subscribe to his blog The Until Matters.

Add Comment November 5, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 4 Ways to Take Better Care of Your Volunteers

You already know that your volunteers are a crucial piece of your healthy ministry. That’s why you spend so much time identifying, training, and developing awesome volunteer leaders.

But what are you doing to make sure your volunteers are really cared for?

Remember, your volunteers are susceptible to stress and burnout, just like you are. They also have important relationships with students, just like you do. That means that if a volunteer leaves your ministry, they’ll leave behind some saddened kids, and now you’ll have to start finding and developing a new person to fill that spot.

But, if you exercise good care over your volunteers, there’s an excellent chance they’ll be there for the long haul. That’s what you want.

Here are four (fairly) easy ways to make sure you take better care of your awesome volunteers:

1. Regularly send notes of encouragement.
Did a volunteer do something exceptional? Tell him. Is it her birthday or anniversary? Celebrate with her. Did you spontaneously remember the Cheez Whiz incident from last fall’s retreat? Send a note to your volunteer so you can laugh about it together.

It’s not exactly groundbreaking, but sometimes the easiest way to tell someone you appreciate them is to actually tell them.

2. Create volunteer teams that are larger than they need to be.
Your leaders shouldn’t feel anxiety if they have to miss youth group because they’re going to an out-of-town wedding. But if you are always tight on volunteers, then that’s exactly what will happen.

You want your leaders to be missed when they’re gone, but they also need the freedom to take a session off without guilt.

3. Pray for and with your volunteers.
This seems like a no-brainer, but when a volunteer reveals a problem, stressor, or struggle, they are asking you for your prayers. Yes, add them to your prayer list.

But as a leader (administratively and spiritually), be willing to place your hands on another person and to lift them up in prayer. It won’t take long until you become comfortable with this, and you won’t believe the impact your prayers and presence can have on your volunteers.

4. Say ‘no’ for your volunteers.
There are always a few volunteers who will say ‘yes’ to everything. I love those volunteers. So do you.

But be careful about overdoing it. Your volunteers need to have healthy home lives and careers in addition to helping with ministry. Don’t impose your own program so much that it starts to affect everything else.

Just because someone has the inability to say no doesn’t make it right for us to take advantage of that.

What else do you do to make sure that your volunteers are well-cared for? I’d love for you to share your input.

Aaron Helman is on a mission to help end the epidemic of youth worker burnout. He writes Smarter Youth Ministry to help youth workers with their biggest frustrations – like leading volunteers. He is also the youth minister at Firehouse Youth Ministries in South Bend, Indiana.

4 View Comments November 4, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Manufacturing Ministry

Several years ago, as my wife and I were stepping into a new season of Ministry, one of my mentors asked me an incredible question. He said, “What are you consistently and deliberately praying for in your ministry?” At the time, I prayed for our ministry regularly, as I am sure you do as well, but I had never considered a consistent and deliberate prayer request.

In that season, I began to ask God to give me a clear prayer focus for the Student Ministry I led. In the first few years my requests were fairly normal… God help our ministry to do this… Help our kids to be that… I would wake up, and begin each day with prayer, making sure to include that request. In time, I watched God multiply the incredible things He was doing in our ministry (or at least increase my ability to see them).

As I sought this consistent and deliberate prayer focus at the beginning of last year God very clearly turned the attention of my prayer to my own heart. John Calvin once said, “The human heart is a factory of idols.” Powerfully true. You and I have the ability to turn basically anything into an idol. Now, we all know that some idols are easier to identify then others. I wasn’t bowing down in front of a golden calf, or anything, but God quickly revealed that I was beginning to make an idol out of my “ministry.”

Here’s the deal… I am a good Youth Pastor. I am not bragging, it’s just true. I am a good Youth Pastor, and I am sure you are too. In fact, you are probably much better at it then I am… But my concern is this: Some of us are probably better “Pastors” then we are followers of Jesus. As my friend Lance Witt accurately explains it; Jesus is the gift and ministry is simply the box by which we deliver the gift, yet some of us have switched the two.

It seems to me that some of us unintentionally slip into viewing what we get to do as our occupation rather than our calling. If I view my role as an occupation than I can do it, I can make it happen, I can figure it out on my own… If it is a calling, however, than I am in desperate need of the Holy Spirit to help me do what God has asked me to do. We forget that.

I had begun to try and “manufacture” ministry from my own spirit, in my own strength, and in my own direction. I was doing what I thought was best for our kids and our ministry… Some of us subtly believe that we can teach, preach, meet with families, recruit Ministry Partners, hang with kids, and host huge killer events with little to no reliance on the Holy Spirit. At least I did.
So my prayer became simply this: God, help me not try and manufacture ministry, but to be deliberately dependent on You. Praying this everyday of the year (sometimes several times a day) gave me life in ministry like I had never experienced before. It took the pressure off, because I was forced to remember that I am not the Holy Spirit (we all need that reminder sometimes). It restored my energy, and renewed my excitement to see what God was going to do next. It is teaching me to be more thankful. It is helping me to remain open and teachable. Most importantly, it is teaching me to stay out of the way of what God wants to do in and through our ministry.
This question has helped me, and maybe God will use it to help you: Am I trying to “manufacture” ministry, or am I being deliberately dependent on the Spirit of God for every step I take?

The reality is that God’s plans for our respective ministries are far greater than we could ever think or accomplish. The more we try to do in our own power the more we rob ourselves and our students of experiencing all that God has in store. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to miss out on anything God wants to do.

Consider seeking a consistent and deliberate prayer request for your ministry this year. You never know what God might want to teach you…

Ryan McDermott is the RP Director of Student Ministries at Christ Fellowship – Royal Palm, FL. Follow him @ryanmcdermott.

3 View Comments October 21, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts Ministering to Students in Crisis

Enjoyed reading AC’s blog yesterday about Ministering to Students in Crisis - I get to work with him everyday here at the church and am so thankful for someone who cares so deeply for students! Here’s an excerpt from his post, check out yoacblog.com for the rest:

PRAY CONTINUALLY -1Thessalonians 5:17

Prayer should always be your first response. God has incredible plans for your students, and He wants you to be apart of it. We must stay in communication with Him. Connect with Him for the words to say and the steps to take, as you support students.

LISTEN WELL AND ASK QUESTIONS – James 1:19

Students that are going through crisis need you to do these two things more than anything else. I know it’s so tempting to give them advice because you’ve been where they are or you know the solution to the problem. Taking the time to intently listen and ask questions says a lot. You never know, you could be the only adult in their life who listens to them intentionally.

REMEMBER ONLY GOD CAN CHANGE THE HEART – Philippians 1:6

You are here because you like students and want God to do something awesome in their lives. God is going to use you. We must remember that even though God uses us, He is the only one that can change hearts. So don’t carry the burden of this situation, thinking that you are the one that will change your students’ heart. God is faithful, He will fulfill His promise and complete the work that He has used you to begin.

JG

1 View Comments September 14, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts 5 Questions with Thomas Strock, Creater of the SharePrayer App

Thomas Strock is the 16-year-old student who designed and built a new app in the iPhone App Store called Share Prayer. Love it when students step out and do something big like this? Super cool, here’s 5 questions with the man:

Tell us about the app!
SharePrayer is an app that helps people put God first, even in a world full of distractions. SharePrayer has two main features – the ability to set alerts to remind you to stop what you’re doing and pray, and the ability to share and receive prayer requests from friends and family.

Where did your inspiration for it come from?
When I was 12, I published a children’s book called Tomato Turtle, and since them I’ve been involved in a Christian author Facebook group where we share ideas and tips about promoting your book. Since it was a Christian authors group though, lots of people would also post prayer requests there. That’s what gave me the original idea for the app. I see prayer requests not only in that group, but also on my main Facebook feed, Twitter, and also through email. I’d love to be able to pray for everybody, but it’s hard to keep track of all the different places you see prayer requests. So I wanted a place where I could have a list of everything I wanted to pray for plus keep everyone else’s prayer requests in one location so I can remember everything.

16 years old! Amazing … what’s next for you from here?
Honestly, who knows? Maybe more apps, maybe more books, maybe something completely different – it all depends. I love doing things that are fun and challenge me. So in the future, whatever meets those two criteria, that’s what I’ll be doing!

What would you say to other teenagers with a dream to do something like this?
If you have a passion for something, the only way you’re going to achieve it is through action. Whether your passion is becoming the next great baseball player or making mobile apps, unless you take action, you’re never going to get any closer to your goals. Before making SharePrayer I knew nothing about making mobile apps. It would’ve been easy for me to use that as an excuse to wait until I’ve taken classes on app development, learned more about the business, etc. to actually take action. Instead, I dove in head-first and took action, learned from my mistakes, and eventually found success. The same holds true no matter what your passion is – Albert Pujols didn’t becoming an All-Star baseball player by reading books about how to play baseball. He became one by taking action everyday and practicing.

Prove your not a robot. Tell us an embarrassing moment from your childhood!
When I was around six, I didn’t really like playing soccer, but my parents would sign me up anyway to make sure I was running around and getting exercise. I normally did OK, but one game a bunch of my family was there to watch me but I was particularly bored. I found a big red leaf in the middle of the field that was apparently more exciting than the actual game. I don’t remember the game too well now, but it turns out my mom was videotaping me, and for around 10 minutes I was standing in the middle of the field walking in a small circle around this big leaf. Meanwhile, the game is continuing and everyone is running back and forth across the field while I’m still just standing there doing my own thing, walking in a circle around this leaf. Wasn’t too embarrassing at the time, as I was so fascinated with this leaf and had no idea what was going on around me – but it’s really funny to go back and watch it now.

Thanks for sharing, Thomas! Student leaders rule! Get the app and more info here.

JG

Add Comment August 13, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Confronting Conflict – Part 2: The Confrontation

I was a film major in college, which means a few things: I’ve seen a ton of movies, I’m totally pretentious, and I think Orson Wells is a genius. One of the things I studied in film school is the art of a sequel. Some sequels can stand alone, meaning you don’t need to know anything about the series in order to enjoy it (i.e., The Phantom Menace). Other sequels are completely dependent on the first film (i.e., The Empire Strikes Back). Think of this blog as The Empire Strikes Back. Confrontation is useless unless you first prepare yourself and your heart. Because of this, make sure you ask yourself the three questions covered in PART ONE.

Confrontation can either lead to reconciliation or destruction, and anyone who has ever dealt with conflict knows that there is a thin line that separates the two. We need to make sure we take every step we can to approach our conflict in a way that honors the Lord, and that starts with discerning the condition of your heart and the purpose of the conversation. If, after prayer and consideration, you decide that confrontation is the best option, keep these things in mind:

1. Pray. Prepare yourself for the conversation you are about to walk into. Pray that the Lord provides you with effective words. Pray that hearts are humble and ready for what’s to come. Pray for peace and reconciliation. Overall, pray that your confrontation will be God-glorifying!

2. Balance truth and love. I feel like most of us are really good at half of this. If you’re like me, you are REALLY good at being truthful (maybe too much so). Unfortunately, we often attack others with our words, making it impossible for others to embrace our “truth.” Others are great at being loving, but their fear of hurting feelings prevents them from providing helpful criticism. We need to balance both truth and love if we want our conversation to be fruitful.

3. Be quick to listen, slow to speak. The purpose of confrontation is to voice your feelings and frustrations and work towards reconciliation. It is important to keep in mind that the person you are confronting wants to be heard and understood just as much as you do. Even if you think you’re right or know you’ve done nothing wrong, make sure you allow the other person the opportunity to give their side of the story. Remember that you are there to seek understanding, not to voice your opinions.

These are just a few ways to make the most of your confrontation. What would you add to this?

Colton Harker is the Student Leadership Coordinator at Saddleback HSM. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact him at coltonharker@gmail.com or on twitter at @ColtonHarker.

Add Comment August 4, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Confronting Conflict – Part 1: The Decision

One of the first life lessons that we learn is that conflict is inevitable. We are a fallen people and, because of that, conflict is a part of our life. Whether big or small, conflict is able to make its way into every one of our relationships. Unfortunately, our ministry relationships are not excluded from that reality. Whether it is with a parent, a volunteer, another department of the church, or the head pastor, we WILL eventually have conflict.

As believers, we are called to confront and resolve our conflict. That being said, if we don’t approach reconciliation appropriately, conflict can be incredibly destructive.

Today my friend (who works at the same church as me) and I were debriefing a confrontation he had that afternoon. He was frustrated with a miscommunication he had with a member of another department, so he talked with them about it. Long story short, it did not go well. Their relationship took a huge blow and both walked away more frustrated than they were before.

Thankfully, they are in the process of repairing their relationship. But it is important that our confrontations don’t produce similar outcomes. If you are deciding whether or not you should confront someone about a conflict, here are a few things to keep in mind:

Did I pray about it? At the first sign of conflict, pray. Pray for guidance and discernment as your navigate your next step. Search your heart to find out what you are truly upset about. Say someone isn’t responding to your e-mails or phone calls, are you upset at their laziness or are you upset that they aren’t valuing your time? Finding out your true feelings about your issue will help you effectively communicate your frustration.

Is it worth it? Finding out your true feelings will also help you pick your battles. Frequently communicating small issues is discouraging to others and has the potential to alienate you. Not communicating important problems can severally damage your ministry and even your church as a whole.

Am I considering the entirety? Take some time to think outside yourself (outside student ministry), and consider the “big picture”. Remember that you and your ministry are only small pieces of a large puzzle. Are you looking out for our own interests, or the interest of the Church?

What are some things that you consider before you approach a confrontation?

Colton Harker is the Student Leadership Coordinator at Saddleback HSM. If you have any questions or comments, feel free to contact him at coltonharker@gmail.com or on twitter at @ColtonHarker.