relationships | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 3 Reasons You Should Visit Your Local High Schools

The start of the new school year has meant that the process of reintroducing myself to our local high school’s Administrators has begun as I re-explain my motives and purpose for visiting the high schools. It is a lot of work, but the fruit that comes of it is immeasurable. Here are 3 reasons why we do it.

Encouragement & Support: Showing up at a high school, walking down the hallway and remembering a students name is a powerful thing to them. You are telling them that they matter. They might be having a bad day, but you arriving on their turf, just to visit, can provide a huge boost. Pulling them aside and praying for them or just being interested in what is happening says a lot to a student that feels invisible in a school of 2000+ people (this is assuming that every youth goes to a school of 2000+). Talk about being like Christ, showing up where people are at, in their school. It’s really enjoyable to see students in “their natural environment”

Connection: Showing up in the school gives me face time with students I would likely never have the opportunity to spend time with, and for a student that has not shown up at our program for a few weeks, it might be an opportunity to reconnect, check in, and find out what is going on. Perhaps there is something they need prayer about. Just this week, I went to a local school to meet up with a student that was struggling to transition into High School I met up with her and happened to bump into another student (God moment) who just moved here and was in the same boat. We hung out, ate lunch, they swapped numbers, and the rest, well, we’ll see…..

Conversation Catalyst: We do not hand anything out while visiting school, nor do we invite anyone to our youth group because that is not my role. My absolute favorite bi-product of visiting the high schools is that I will often meet groups of two or three of our students and inevitably one or two of their friends who are not connected to the Church. We shoot the breeze, talk about their weeks, how school is going etc., give them a high five, and that’s it. But what happens after is incredible, because afterwards I often here, these words.

“Who was that?”

“Oh, that’s my Youth Pastor, Geoff”

“Youth Pastor? You go to church?”

“Yeah, I do……..

I don’t always know where those conversations go, if they end quickly or carry on, but I do know that many friends of students that I met have started attending our youth group, gotten connected, and given their lives to Christ.

Visiting the high schools can be time consuming, and for some really intimidating, but what an encouragement we can be to students, and from what I have seen even help important conversations about God happen, just by being there. Make time for it. It’s incredibly important to be in the schools if they are willing to let us in.

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Be sure to check out his Twitter stream for awesome ministry goodness. Want to get in on the fun and write up a guest post yourself? See how right here.

8 View Comments October 4, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts 1-Day Youth Ministry Deal: The Disconnect

Want to pick up a sweet youth ministry resource at a big discount? Grab The Disconnect ~~$14.99~~ by Doug Franklin at half price today for only $7.99. Here’s a little bit more about the book that will help you navigate the youth worker-senior pastor relationship:

Every time you walk out of your senior pastor’s office, you leave with a sense of bewilderment and confusion. “Did I just waste the last hour? Did he really hear what’s going on with our students? Is youth ministry really a priority for this guy?” Unfortunately, you aren’t alone. When it works, the relationship between a youth pastor and senior pastor opens the door to dynamic ministry in the local church. But when that relationship is weak, damaged, or broken, it can create an environment that breeds frustration, dissension, and burnout.

Grab it quick – the sale ends at 5pm MST!

JG

Add Comment September 19, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: What To Do With The Kid Who Hates You

Perhaps I am the only person, but I am pretty sure I am not the only one out there who has a student that just doesn’t like me, and I mean really doesn’t like me. In many cases it starts with a leadership decision they didn’t like, or a time that I held them accountable, or challenged a decision they made, but they are upset and holding onto that anger as if it were a trophy. Maybe you have never experienced this, but for those that have, or those that have not yet, it’s a good thing to know, because being in leadership is a lonely place sometimes, and the target on your chest can be sizeable. Here are four things that I have learned in dealing with students like this.

Talk to them- Start with Matthew 18. After all, we are the adults. Try and talk it out one-on-one, and if they are willing to chat about it, do it, even if it’s awkward. Maybe they feel unheard, or brushed off, or offended by something taken out of context, but it’s our responsibility as leaders to figure out what the issues are and work to resolve them. The reality is, sometimes they won’t want to chat, or it’s an issue that you won’t be able to solve, and that’s okay too, but having an available open channel for communication is key.

Kill them (with kindness of course): These are the kids that I will try and go out of my way for – dropping by their work (where they have to talk to me!), or school – and really try to rebuild that bridge, or build trust again. This is not because I need them to like me, but being intentional with the students that would be easier to avoid will mean something to them, even if not right away. Being gracious and relentlessly forgiving is what the best leaders I know do.

Accept it: If there is a student that despises you, but comes to youth group week in and week out, CONGRATULATIONS!, you are doing a heck of a job! When youth becomes about small groups, worship, and what is being taught from the Bible, and not about who is teaching it, that is a sign of a strong youth group. When a ministry becomes a personality cult, hanging onto the charisma of one leader, it’s unsustainable and destined for failure. Sometimes you need to accept that not every student is going to be on board.

Move on: There will come a point where you have tried everything, exhausted your options, eaten too many ice cream cones from their work, and you need to move on. Don’t mistake this as a write-off of that student, but a moving forward of the entire group. When you focus on the students who want to be discipled and they begin to move and grow, eventually that other student will decide whether they want in on what’s going on, or whether they are going to remain on the outside looking in. It’s important that we as leaders move on, focusing on what we are called to do, and make disciples of our students, investing in the ones who desire it.

I hope you never have a student like this, but if you do, it’s not the end of the world. Being a leader means making decisions that are right and not always popular. Do your best to lead the reconciliation charge, but remember: students long to stand for something. even if that thing is not liking you!

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Be sure to check out his Twitter stream for awesome ministry goodness. Want to get in on the fun and write up a guest post yourself? See how right here.

4 View Comments August 22, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts POLL: How often do you teach about sex in youth group?

Vote in this week’s youth ministry poll – how often do you teach about purity/sex in youth group? I’m considering kicking off the school year with a sex series next month, which we’ve never done before. Pastor Rick changed up our fall campaign so I’ve got a few weeks and thinking of starting it off with a bang. Vote now!

JG

5 View Comments August 9, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts 7 Ways to Be Despised by Your Students

Matt McGill doesn’t blog much, but when he does it is super solid. I’d say this post, Seven Ways to be Despised by Your Students, is his very best so far. Here’s a clip of it, head there for the whole article (worth the click to see his fancy graphics alone):

The first way to be despised is to teach WITHOUT encouragement, rebuke, or authority–a total strike out. Ultimately, this kind of teacher has nothing to say. When listeners tune in and find nothing but static, they will eventually tune out.

The second way is to teach with encouragement, but LACK correction and authority. It is a great thing to lift others up! However, sound teaching is more than telling people what they want to hear–and it’s made all the more worse by lacking conviction.

The third teaching pairs encouragement with authority, but skips over any correction. It is not enough be passionate and positive! Everyone carries guilt because of the mistakes we’ve made, and these need to be addressed.

The fourth teaching mistake is to encourage and rebuke without any sense of authority. This teacher says all the right things, but lacks the right confidence.

JG

Add Comment July 26, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts Summer Camp Relationships with Professor Wallace

Professor Wallace takes on Romantic Camp Relationships in this video from HSM Summer Camp.

JG

1 View Comments July 21, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Feeling Rejected

We’ve all been there.

Maybe it was that relationship.. the one that cut us deep. The one, because it hurt us so much, we swore that we would never be in another relationship.

Or maybe it was that ‘dream job‘ that you wanted. You felt so good about it.. you had that ‘gut’ instinct that it was going to work out. And then, you get that dreaded phone call. That one where the hopeful future employer said.. “thanks.. but no thanks.”

Or perhaps.. it was that loan. You felt that you had your ducks in a row, and that you were going to be able to be approved for a new loan (home, car, student.. whichever.) But then.. you weren’t approved. It felt like a slap in the face…

Maybe it was that time that you shared a belief or an opinion with a close friend; or maybe even a family member. You believed it in so much, you had such passion, and you were sure of it.. absolutely positive that they would agree with you… and they didn’t. Rejection.

It hits us all. And sometimes.. we don’t expect it. Other times, … we have a gut feeling that it will happen.. but we still hope for the best. Regardless.. it happens. And so the question comes up.. “Now what?“ “How do I respond to this… How CAN I respond to this..?” We can respond full of bitterness and anger, or full of love, forgiveness and understanding. We can respond looking to ‘get them back..’ for what they did (whomever, whatever..) or we can choose to respond by.. maybe not responding at all? Regardless of how you’ve been rejected and from what (job, relationship, opinion, etc..) I think there are some key things that we can learn here..

1. Live/Serve/Continue on where you are successfully.

I understand that in every context, this is different.. but the main point is this. You’ve been rejected. So, continue on in life as if you weren’t.

If it’s financially, start to (and continue to) make wise budget choices.

If it’s in a relationship.. live the best life you know how to (.. and choose to fill that need for someone with God..)

If it’s a job – continue to be where you are.. and LOVE it.(Especially if you’re in a full time ministry position. You are CALLED there for this time. Own it, Love it.)

2. Don’t Give Up

Continue to live and serve where you are (in every sense of the word) – but look forward. The minute we stop looking forward is the second that we find ourselves in a rut. So, plan for the future.

Many of ‘us’ in Youth Ministry are in a transition period. There are friends all over the globe that are either in between jobs, or looking for a new one. To you, I encourage you with this: Continue to search. But don’t search for a ‘new place.’ Search for God’s leading. Continue to serve faithfully, and plan ahead… Don’t Give Up. Both on your dream (and God’s call) .. but also where you are.

3. Talk About It.

We were created for community. We were created to share life with others. And so, when you have been rejected, and you have that feeling that the whole world is against you… the last thing you should be doing is secluding yourself and building walls around you. Reach out. Talk. Commuicate. Share with trusted friends what is going on. And ask for help. Never, EVER, be too prideful that you can’t ask for help.

Rejection will come.. and go. Rejection is something that can either make us or break us. It’s how you respond that will determine that. How are YOU responding?

Andy Disher is a youth worker, avid Simply Youth Ministry Podcast listener and Twitterer.

Add Comment July 18, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts Weigh In – Volume 10: Senior Pastor Making Changes to Youth Group

From time to time I post a question that comes into the blog for YOU to answer. What advice would you give this youth pastor’s wife in this time of crisis:

We’ve been at this church for a year – already longer than the last 2 youth workers! We started with about a dozen kids and now we have almost triple that on Sunday mornings (more evangelistic) and a solid 15 or so during a midweek program (more discipleship). Here’s the problem: our senior pastor just cancelled the Sunday program so we are basically back where we started. We’ve literally cried about this, and was wondering if you had an insight on where we should go from here. Help!

So … your turn. What should they do?

JG