Josh GriffinMore Posts3 Lessons from 2 Very Difficult Funerals

Last week I did two of the most difficult funerals I’ve ever done in my life. They were both high profile deaths in our community (you can read about them here and here), and after some reflection I thought I would share a couple of learnings from performing both ceremonies:

Funerals are heavy and humbling
There is never a good time for a funeral – but they are an unforgettable gift to a family in crisis. They are one of the heaviest aspects of pastoral care a pastor is called to do. I’ve felt it the past couple of weeks. It isn’t easy, but you have the chance to walk through a dark place with the family and show them God’s light. This is why you are here. Thank God that He has allowed you to be trusted with this.

Funerals are an incredible opportunity to share Jesus
Without a doubt, having a platform to give comfort and hope to people in need is the most fulfilling part of carrying such a heavy burden. Pointing them to Jesus Christ and the Good News is central to a funeral message. I do my best to share John 14 in every service, even if the person you are eulogizing wasn’t a Christian.

“Don’t let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. 4 And you know the way to where I am going.” “No, we don’t know, Lord,” Thomas said. “We have no idea where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me. John 14:1-6 NLT

Funerals are the beginning of a relationship with the family
A funeral is not intended to be the end of a relationship with the family – they are just the beginning. Often times members of the family will need additional counseling or help possibly navigating the future ahead without their loved ones. By performing the funeral, you are now an honorary member of the family and can help them in the days, weeks and maybe even years ahead.

JG

Josh GriffinMore PostsThe Philosophy Behind HSM’s Summer Calendar 2011

Last summer was incredible so this summer we’re hoping to build on what we learned and have another great break. Here is a little insight behind what HSM has planned for this summer. If you haven’t seen the calendar and list of events yet, you can check it out here:

All about relationships
The summer is all about hanging with students. We embrace the beauty of time off from school and the different pace around the church office. Summer = relational ministry goldmine.

Free, free, free
Summer camp is the signature event to kickoff the summer and the only one that costs money – after that every event is totally free. In the past we have had events that each charge admission, and over time these add up to frustrated parents and limiting participation.

Low prep time
The events on the summer calendar are meant to be low-prep time events. They are basically excuses to do relational ministry. Prep for Free Coke Friday? Grab some frisbees and a cooler of Gatorade. Done!

Regular recurring events
Want to remember the summer schedule? Every event happens 7 times this summer. 7 Midweeks, 7 Free Coke Fridays, 7 Bagels & Bibles. If you come to one, you can figure out the schedule for the summer. If you’re free on a Friday, you know what we’re up to that day.

Lots of Bible time
One of the big emphasis of our summer is plenty of time in the Word. One of the advantages of no small groups and no high school classes is that we have blocks of time and regular opportunities to pull off our own classes fr spiritual growth.

What should we try next summer that is working for you?

JG

Josh GriffinMore PostsSimply Youth Ministry Podcast: Episode 160

Doug Fields, Josh Griffin, Katie Edwards and Matt McGill return for episode 160. The gang quickly jump into your questions about: Doug’s blog, a volunteer dating students, teaching help, picking volunteers for events, student leadership conference, depression and suicide, and feeling bad about leaving a ministry.

JG

Josh GriffinMore PostsSimply Youth Ministry Podcast: Episode 159

What happens when the boys are left all alone? We are about to find out. Today’s show is just Doug, Matt and Josh. They tackle questions about: the YouthMinistry.com Daily, getting students excited about bringing their friends, communication, boyfriends / Girlfriends at youth group, strangest thing you’ve ever done for a volunteer, and getting students to go to church on Sunday. We’d also like to thank our sponsor: www.thelifebook.com

JG

Josh GriffinMore PostsGUEST POST: Understanding Who You Are Loving

One of the most profound books that I read over the past five years is The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman. This book is not just a book for understanding your spouse (which I didn’t even have at the time of reading) but I believe understanding the love languages will transform how you minister to students, and your whole family. This is a must read for everyone and it has changed how I view my students as a teacher and as a youth director.

The whole premise of the book is the idea that each person has a primary and secondary love language. It is through that type of love that our “love tank” get filled. Each person is different and gives and receives love differently.

There are five love languages that the book talks about. Acts of service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch (platonic touching, not necessarily sexual) , Gift Giving, and Quality Time. Often the way that you give love the best is also the way that you recieve love the best, however that is not always the case. There are several online tests that you can take to help you figure out your love language, but I do recommend you read the book because it details each of the love languages, how to best understand them, and how to best incorporate those into your day to day life.

You may be wondering how this goes beyond your spouse – well I believe that the more we understand how our students give and receive love, the better we are able to minister to them in a way that they feel as though they truly are loved. So many of our students come from broken homes or unhealthy relationships when all they have ever learned is put up your walls and protect yourself. We can help break down those walls by learning first how they love, and filling their love tanks. We can then help them learn how to best love others regardless of their love languages.

For me it changed how I taught my students, it changed how I ministered to my students, and it helped me to better individualize my ministry to help connect in a deeper way with my students. To me it was revolutionary!

Jana Snyder is a youth pastor and a good friend who blogs at www.tarajaministries.com.

Josh GriffinMore PostsGUEST POST: Time Isn’t Enough

I want my students to like me! I really do. I hope to gain the trust, confidence, and “right” to speak into the lives of my students about important spiritual matters, but I realize that doesn’t come free. Hanging out with them at Sonic after school, going to eat chicken rings with them at their school lunches (how in the world does chicken become rings?), attending their choir concerts, talent shows, band recitals, and athletics events are all ways that I can show my students that I care about my relationship with them. Depending on the depth of those relationships and the number of students in my ministry, I could spend countless hours growing these relationships. It costs a lot of time for me to show my students that I truly care about their lives.

But is that enough? Is it enough for me to care about the lives of my students and have them be aware of it? Allow me to answer my own question…that depends on what I believe God has actually called me to do. All of those activities may be enough if God has called me to be a mentor or to develop moral people. You mean to tell me that you can sacrifice all of those hours outside of your “office hours”, away from your family, listening to some pretty amateur band music, and cheering on your freshman boys in a basketball game that ends in 14-12, and that still may not be enough. The problem is that God has called us to guide our students spiritually, not simply influence their life. God has called us to pastor/shepherd our students’ spirits. To guide their spirit means much more than spending quality time with them. Don’t get me wrong, quality time is important and necessary, it’s just not enough.

“The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.” Psalm 19:7 Our students’ souls need constant revival. That revival cannot come from our relationship with them; they need spiritual revival and growth that is only found in His revealed Self, found in his Word. Shepherding our students requires us to understand and completely surrender to the fact that their relationship with God is infinitely more important than their relationship with me. They don’t NEED to know me, they NEED to know God. Their relationship with God is not found in the number of hours that you spend during a given week developing a relationship with your students; it is found in the number of hours that your students spend in their Bible learning about their God. The way for them to know God is to know his Word. Knowing God leads to life transformation and revival.

Let’s face it, how many of your students maintain a close relationship with you five years after they leave your ministry? Statistics (a student pastor’s worst nightmare) suggest that many of our students not only dissolve their relationship with their student pastor after leaving the student ministry, they dissolve their entire relationship with God. The purpose of this article is not to figure out all of the dynamics at work that explain that trend, however it points back to the foundational question, what is enough? The key to developing students that are more likely to maintain their relationship with the Lord is to develop Bible-hungry students through a Bible-hungry student ministry.

A Bible-hungry student ministry cannot exist without a Bible-hungry student pastor. I know there are thousands of things that compete for your time. There are always notes to write, emails to send, students to disciple, and meetings to attend; however, a student pastor’s time with the Lord in his Word is critical. The model that you set for your students is determined by what you value. Make sure to set a high value on your daily consumption of God’s Word. “More desirable than gold, than much fine gold. Sweeter than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.” Psalm 19:10

Expository teaching ensures that a student’s relationship with God through his Word is emphasized as greater than a student’s relationship with their student pastor. Simply put, expository teaching is the careful drawing out of the exact meaning of a passage in its original context leading to contemporary application. Instead of brainstorming a topic and finding a passage that speaks to what you are attempting to communicate, expository teaching uses the text of the Scripture to drive the series of lessons. By allowing the text to drive the series of lessons you are allowing God to speak using the structure of his Word, not your creativity to think up topics that the students need to hear. This type of teaching also teaches your students to learn to study the Bible for themselves. Just like you would not encourage your students to flip open to a random verse and apply it without studying its context, don’t model that wrong behavior in your method of teaching!

“God’s Word is vital in developing an on-going relationship with Him.” Don’t just tell it to your students, model it for them.

Tony Richmond is the High School/College Student Pastor at First Baptist Church Keller.

Josh GriffinMore PostsGUEST POST: Snow Day

Yesterday was supposed to be a big day. For weeks our staff made preparations and plans for it to be awesome and fun and great and any other positive adjective you can come up with. We had everything scripted and it was all ready to go.

  • We sent out post cards to promote the night.
  • We rented sumo suits for our game.
  • We made a hilarious promo/bumper video for our new series.
  • We had all of our top musicians ready to play in the band.
  • We had the talk finished and built into the computer.
  • The only problem is we didn’t have the actual event.

You see, for those of you outside of Knoxville, we got six inches of snow on Sunday night/Monday morning. The students were out of school Monday and Tuesday but we were hopeful that they’d have school on Wednesday so that we could have our 2011 kick-off for FUEL on Wednesday night. We have a rule that says, “No school = No FUEL” so if either school district canceled school, we immediately canceled FUEL.

We went about our business as normal. We were preparing for a huge event and hoping we’d be able to bring back a good portion of the record crowd of students who came to our Christmas party in December. Then, around 5:30 in the afternoon on Tuesday, one of the districts canceled for Wednesday.

No school. No FUEL. Crap.

We were at a point where everything was pretty much ready to go and we had to cancel. It’s probably one of the worst feelings you can have in ministry. It’s disappointing. It’s frustrating. It’s even a little bit sad. But it didn’t have to be a complete negative. Our students had been home for three straight days without really going anywhere probably. Most were getting cabin fever. I jumped on the computer and sent an e-mail out to our leaders encouraging them to invite students to grab lunch or coffee or to a movie or something.

I invited them to be intentional with a snow day.

We had a few students in the office to play Katan. I went to the movies with a few more later in the day. With everything already finished, we basically had a free day to spend with our students.

So that’s what we did. Things sometime happen in life and ministry that suck or aren’t fun at all. The key is to find the positive in them and exploit it. We may not have had a massive crowd at FUEL last night but I definitely had a great time with the ones that I did hang out with and God can use that hang out time just as much as he could use a large gathering. And ultimately, isn’t that what it’s all about?

Jonathan Carone is a youth pastor who regularly blogs at This Isn’t High School.

Josh GriffinMore PostsBook Review: Never Eat Alone

This fall our whole team read through Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone – a book that focuses on relationships, networking and giving/receiving an infinite supply of gifts and favors to help you be successful in life. The book was specifically written from a person in the entertainment industry but can easily be translated to a church setting. I found the chapter on conferences the most helpful – I happened to be reading it on my way to a conference so put a ton of it into practice. Keith is a master networker, and dances on the thin line of using people to get where he wants to go. I think he would fully dispute that charge, suggesting that we are all symbiotic to each other, and he would just as quickly cash in a favor for someone else as he would expect it to be done for him. Good stuff to get you thinking about where you’re going in your career and how other people are the key to the journey as well as the destination. Might give you a fresh perspective on relational ministry, too. A

JG