relationships | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Lessons I’ve Learned Losing My First Youth Ministry Job

When I graduated college a year and a half ago I was excited about where my life was heading. I had a diploma, a new marriage, and was about to start a full time youth ministry job at the church I had been interning at for the last year and a half of college. Many dreams were coming true all at once. Although we made financial sacrifices to be at this church, I was receiving some of the biggest paychecks in my 22 years of life and thought for sure we would make it work. Fast forward to now: I am still excited about what God is doing in my life, though it’s more about His presence than hitting life milestones. The road has been bumpy. Less than a year into my first youth ministry gig I was told I wasn’t what the church wanted for their youth ministry. It was a blow to my ego, my calling, my vocation, and my young family. My wife and I felt tossed aside by a church that we had devoted ourselves to for 3 years, the church we were married at, the church we called “home.” I’ve wrestled with a lot of things in the months since then, yet had incredible confidence in who God is and that He wasn’t done with us. These are some things I’ve learned as I’ve dealt with what happened and prepared for what’s next.

1. God’s plans are bigger than my dreams and nightmares. I knew I wanted to do youth ministry since I was a young teenager. I never had specific dreams of what that meant, but I imagined it looking like the church environments I knew. I didn’t picture California (being from the Midwest), the leaders and students I would work with, or the mentors I would have, but all of these things turned out better than I could have expected at my first position. I never imagined losing my first position so soon or that the circumstances of it would be so difficult- it was a lot more of nightmare than a dream- but I have seen God do amazing things through this experience that I never expected. I am thankful for the things God has done in my life beyond my dreams and in my nightmares.

2. The people in my life are “better than I deserve”. I steal this from a phrase Dave Ramsey says, but it characterizes the humility I feel towards all of the people who have supported me. I can’t say enough about how much my wife has meant to me, how she has loved me and challenged me to move forward in faith. We have been supported greatly by our families and the family of God. Friends and mentors have been there to walk with us. I know this time would have been much more devastating without these people God put in our lives.

3. Purposeful ministry has to be planned. I have learned a ton about ministry in the last few months from a lot of people and books. My head is filled with ideas that make me anxious to get back to youth ministry and let them out. From choosing and empowering leaders strategically to accomplishing all that the church is meant to be, it takes intentional work from the person in charge. Some aspects of ministry I could do with little thought, but valuable ministry comes from doing things on purpose with God honoring vision, leaders, and programs.

4. My life is filled with God’s grace. I think I have seen God’s hand in my life more in my recent experiences than any other time. These manifestations of God’s grace remind me how thankful I am to be walking through life following Him. The encouraging conversations with others, more part time jobs than I ever thought I could balance (FIVE at one point), sunrises driving at early hours to these jobs, better gas mileage than average, my wife getting a job on the last day of my severance, frozen pizza sales, and new experiences have all shown me God’s grace and encouraged me to keep walking forward with Him. I am thankful for the simple, complex, meaningful, and bizarre miracles of my daily life.

Losing my job was difficult, scary, and confusing. Walking through all of this with God has given me great peace throughout it. My wife and I have seen how blessed we are, and often say to each other that we love our life, even through this difficult time. God has provided for our marriage, our finances, and faith beyond what we could have expected — and this utter dependence on Him has humbled us as a couple. He has blessed us with incredible people to support us. He has grown me as a learner and taught me countless things. Best of all He has been present. I still don’t know when I will be back in youth ministry or even what the next few months look like, but I am excited for them and to see where God takes this adventure.

Mike Shaffer is an intern in social media at Saddleback Church and praying about his future in youth ministry. If you want to get in contact with him, here’s his email address. We had coffee this week and I asked him to write this post after hearing his story – proud of him and excited to see what God has next!

1 View Comments November 14, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts Married to a Youth Pastor

I’m so glad Amanda is back to blogging! After too long away from it this summer, her blog Married to a Youth Pastor is back and better than ever. In addition to a funny new contest giving away a spouse registration to the Simply Youth Ministry Conference, she is back with some insight and raw learnings about youth ministry from a wife’s perspective. Honestly, turn your spouse on to her blog, it is so good – if I find one as awesome for husbands, I’ll be sure to post a link. Here’s a clip of a post called Swept Away where she talks about dialing in the youth ministry calendar with their family one:

We (Jeff and I) HAVE to take control of our schedules and family again. No more excuses of “seasons”. Something “important”, and “urgent” is always going to come up. We have to exercise our “NO”. I have to take responsibility of this as well. I let myself get lost in the shuffle. In no way is this only Jeff’s issue. I have a voice as well. And a smart brain that listens to God’s voice and can hear what’s good and bad or unhealthy for myself, my marriage, and my kids. I really got swept away (and right under the carpet).

I say this a lot… “After 14 years in full time ministry, you’d think I would have this down!”

JG

Add Comment October 22, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts Relationships: Think Like Pokemon

Silly little video in the series for Happily Ever After. If you missed the first one, check it out here.

JG

1 View Comments October 5, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts HSM Weekend in Review: Volume 112

Weekend Teaching Series: Happily Ever After: (series premiere, week 1 of 3)
Sermon in a Sentence: Happily Ever After may be a fairy tale … but you can find and fight for true love that lasts a lifetime by following God’s ways.
Service Length: 74 minutes
Main passage: 1 John 4

Understandable Message: This weekend was the kickoff of our relationships series by talking about the possibility of having a marriage that goes the distance if you choose to love like Jesus asks us to. The message included a clear presentation of the Gospel, and challenged students to think about their future now, and become the type of person who is attractive from the inside out now rather than having to deal with the ghosts of relationship past by not forward-thinking. Couple stronger elements in the talk – I showed the picture of a recent couple (who came through the church) who got married and asked if they really had a shot at happiness or really had a 50/50 shot of making it. I asked students to fast forward to the moment on their honeymoon when this picture would be taken, and think about how to get there God’s way. In another section I used a Jenga game to show how dishonesty and breaking someone’s trust crumbles the foundation and can leave a relationship teetering or falling apart.

Element of Fun/Positive Environment: We played “Who Wants to be a Fraction of a Millionaire: sponsored by McDonalds” where student contestants could win $5 Arch Cards for correct answers. Each of the questions had to do with some sort of love story, fairy tale or connection to the theme of the series. We also had some fun introducing Chris Wohlers as a new member of the HSM team.

Music Playlist: Just the Way You Are [Bruno Mars cover], The Earth is Yours, Savior of the World, You’ll Come, Yours Forever

Favorite Moment: The funniest part of me was during the 2nd Saturday night service, I was pulling out Jenga blocks one by one hoping to demonstrate how relationships are fragile and how sin destroys them at the foundation. I pulled a few blocks 1 …2… 3 …4 … then more and more and more! 15 … 16 … 17 … and the stupid thing wouldn’t fall! Felt like I played the perfect game of Jenga in front of a ton of students when I really wanted it to teeter and fall. Finally just punched it over with my hand all over the stage to a roar from the teens. Amazing.

Up Next: Happily Ever After (week 2 of 3]

2 View Comments September 21, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts Happily Ever After Series Bumper Video

Here’s the Happily Ever After bumper video for our new series that started this weekend.

JG

Add Comment September 21, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts Relationships: Think Outside the Bun

Relationship wisdom from Parker for our new Happily Ever After series.

JG

2 View Comments September 19, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Why You Matter in the Story of Twentysomethings

Few would argue that some of the most passionate, gifted energy among us is housed in those who are college-aged. And yet few have succeeded in pointing such passion and energy toward lasting, healthy ends-especially in the church.

Most churches and families have programmed a finish line at twelfth grade. We walk our seniors out the door, breathe a deep sigh of relief, and let them disappear. The problem is most never come back. Too old for youth group-and feeling too displaced by labels like “single” or “young adult,” the majority of college-aged Christians disconnect from faith communities. “They’ll rework themselves into our system once grown-up,” we of an older generation surmise. “Once they’re married with kids and able to tithe. For now, however, they seem like a lost cause and our attentions are better focused elsewhere.”

This slow fade is slowly eliminating the potentials and influence of this generation and thus, the impact of the modern church.

What would it look like for a senior pastor, a college pastor, and a twentysomething to sit around the table and flesh-out issues of the current generation’s fade from the church? In The Slow Fade, Reggie Joiner, founder and CEO of the reThink Group, Chuck Bomar, former college pastor of Cornerstone in Simi Valley, CA, and I have done just this. Moving between perspectives of pastor, father, and friend, we confront this fading generation and lend insights toward its halt.

The typical model of twentysomething ministry involves about four worship songs, a sermon, and an emotive ending song to stir the heightening finale. (In the more eclectic circles, the front- and back-ends of worship might be swapped.) From here the emotionally caffeinated crowd disperses to the nearest coffeehouse, Waffle House, or frat house and flirts with the herd until the next gathering.

And we wonder why adolescents are struggling to adequately move into adulthood. We wonder why eighteen to twenty-five year olds have little to no lasting involvement with our faith communities. When the reality is, as adult believers, we have some responsibility in this. We’re among the reasons adolescents are not healthily assimilating into adulthood, because we’ve not shown them how their role matters. Furthermore, how crucial they are to our whole, should we ever hope to bring lasting Love to the world.

A discussion of the most overlooked and underdeveloped facet of the modern church, The Slow Fade makes a case for inter-generational relationships as the way to keep college-aged people engaged in faith. Leveraged belonging is necessary for lasting connectivity. Connecting college-aged people to the life of the church requires more than a flashy band, or even a relevant sermon. It requires individual care and a felt sense of belonging. If you show me my part in the whole, I will continue to show up. Meaning, the answer is not a new program and doesn’t cost a dime. The answer lies within any willing adult wanting to have influence.

College-aged people are making some of the most critical choices of their lives. And any adult who chooses to invest in the life of a college student is likewise choosing to invest in a generation. More than ever, this age-stage needs a community of faith and willing individuals interested in their lives. And we have the chance to play that role. A clan of sleeping giants lies in our midst, and we have the chance to wake them-and maybe even be woken-up ourselves.

Abbie Smith wrote her first book, Can You Keep Your Faith in College (Multnomah, 2006), while a Religion major at Emory University. She recently graduated from Talbot Seminary, in Los Angeles, with a degree in “Spiritual Formation and Soul Care” and resides in Savannah, Georgia.

1 View Comments September 18, 2010

Josh GriffinMore Posts 4 Goals for Our Youth Ministry High School Campus Pastors

Today was a huge step in a more recent dream for our high school ministry – we are in the preparation and launch phase of a new care system. Simply put, we have some incredible volunteers that are willing to pray and be available to the students at a specific high school in the area. Like many youth ministries, we serve multiple schools – so there will be two campus pastors for each (of the phase one) local high school. There will be one guy and one girl – we figured the team approach works best and liked having both genders represented as well as those types of specific needs arise.

This is a non-program, just caring adults who want to engage with the students on campus. Here’s the thinking behind the challenge I asked them to take on this morning:

Be available for contact
We’re going to publish this list of volunteers and their contact information in a ton of places – the announcements during the countdown, at our student leader meetings, etc. We want them to get some attention! This is not a program, so it is all about students organically contacting their campus pastor when they have a need. When a new student comes to our ministry from one of these high schools, we’ll immediately get them the contact person of their campus pastor to help follow-up. A girl named Bethany visited this weekend – how awesome would it have been for me to give her the text number of a caring adult who will pray for her and grab coffee with her after her first couple of days of school?

Be ready to care/counsel
I posted a couple weeks ago about Caring for Students, and I think I’m ready to add this new layer to that drawing. These campus pastors will be available, trained and eager to jump in and listen to students needs and pastorally care for them. They aren’t meant to replace a small group leader or The Landing, but be a bridge to a next step.

Show up on campus
Be visible at sporting events and fine arts stuff. Walk the campus occasionally and pray for the students. Use your relationships with core students to meet their friends and expand the reach of care. When there is a need or crisis in their life or at the school, our prayer is that their first thought is to turn to you for help.

Speak occasionally in clubs
From time to time speak in the high school Bible club, FCA or Cookies for Christ. Identify and encourage teachers who are representing Jesus in the public schools. Take advantage of the club platform to help students grow into campus pastors themselves.

Each school will look different – none of them are programs, just opportunities for relationships with students right in the school. Excited about this idea! Just a thought that might trigger something for you – maybe pray about 3-4 volunteers to step up in your context and take on a similar role.

JG