sacred cows | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts Buck the Stats

Our profession has a problem. If you believe statistics (and 89 percent of you do), you’ll be searching for a job on Monster.com in about 36 months. I’ve joked with my friend Doug Fields that his book Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry will always be a bestseller.

This painful turnover needs to stop. It won’t be easy because many youth workers end up wounded soon after the honeymoon ends. We begin anticipating attacks (not teamwork) and jeers (not cheers). But despite all the challenges, you can stay strong for the long haul with these “lifer” tips:

• Hold some stuff sacred. To increase your chances of lasting in ministry, it’s essential to set boundaries on your time and life. Do you take a day off every week? A break might be difficult during an occasional week-before-summer-camp, but if you’re cheating too often, you won’t survive. Do you rest and exercise regularly? How’s your family life? Having a long view of ministry means putting family first. There’s a connection between your faithfulness to your spouse and your faithfulness to God. You have a problem if you’re constantly looking at your phone instead of at your own children (56 percent of you have them).

• Let some things go. Too often, youth workers want to fight over things that don’t really matter. We take a stand when we should sit down, and we speak up when we probably should shut up. If you fight for everything 100 percent of the time, you’ll be too wounded to endure. Over time, you’ll begin to understand what’s truly worth fighting for. Pause today to reflect on some things you might be grasping too tightly.

• Surround yourself with the right people. To build and maintain a long-term ministry, you’ll need the right people in your life. You’ll need: 1) a ministry cheerleader, 2) a ministry mentor, and 3) someone who doesn’t know you work at a church. Who’s cheering you on? Who’s in the stands watching you and yelling encouragement? (Eighty-eight percent of us have someone yelling at us…but it isn’t encouragement.) Who’s the wise sage nudging you on with practical wisdom? Who do you hang out with who cares nothing about your career? These people are sustaining and life-giving, and they’ll make a huge difference.

Live out of these truths and you’ll have a much greater chance of becoming a youth ministry lifer—not a statistic.

Originally appeared in the March/April issue of Group Magazine. Don’t get the magazine yet? Hit this link to subscribe and get in on the action today!

1 View Comments May 3, 2012

Geoff StewartMore Posts 7 Words You Don’t Want To Hear

I really enjoy conversations where we dream and strategize the future of our youth ministry and church. While many of them are positive and really encouraging there are of course few that can be challenging and at times frustrating to be a part of. What I find the most challenging is when we are talking about an element of our youth ministry, or a function of the church that I am wondering about changing so I start to dig in a little bit. Maybe you have moved into a new Youth Ministry or are just starting out, it’s important that we dig. So you have some context of what I am like, I was that kid that took everything apart to find out how it worked and why it did what it did, and I am no different as a Pastor. I am thirsty to understand the process behind the event.

Part of that need to know can be asking tough questions about what motivated a decision or program and there are few words that I don’t like hearing from someone explaining the rationale for a decision than “That’s the way we’ve always done it.” I don’t disagree that many of the things we do are proven best practices, but I worry sometimes that “the way we have always done it” is simply an excuse to avoid making difficult changes and potentially rocking the boat, when sometimes boat rocking can be a good thing. Doing things out of habit and not out of purpose is how we end up coasting and end up complacent to what God is wanting for our ministry. It’s a slow, steady march to irrelevance and ineffectiveness.

Challenging the status quo and the traditional ways of doing things allows us to understand:

If this truly a best practice: If this is the way its always been done, is that because it’s the best way of doing it? Best practices are just that, the best way of doing things. Is the way that we do outreach working, is the framework of our weekly youth gathering in fact that best way to reach and grow students. If it is working, that’s great, but if its not, am I willing to say its not and make the changes necessary? I have found the less time I spend in the word, praying and listening, the more willing I am to accept the status quo as good enough.

If this a change worth making now? There are some changes that need to be made right away, but for others it might be best to wait until we slow down for the summer before making non-critical changes. After all change nearly always has collateral damage. So discerning when the best time for change is part of good leadership and takes patience when sometimes you just want to pull the trigger. A Pastor here at my Church said it really well when he said, you can’t always fix a plane while its in the air, sometimes you need to land, fix it and fly higher afterward. I really like this idea, sure it needs to be fixed but does it need to be done immediately. I’m a sucker for a metaphor.

This year I have looked very objectively at the ministry I oversee and am sensing a few things that are being done simply because they are the way we have always done them and I don’t think that is good enough. We are actively searching for better ways to do things, are you? Is there something you are thinking about making a major overhaul on? Maybe you need to change something, but you are not sure to what. Post a question in the comments and we will put it out to the community.

GS

Add Comment May 1, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: How to Kill the Sacred Cow In Your Ministry

I probably spent hours gluing, taping and screwing that stupid ping-pong table together, but throwing it away was the hardest thing to do. The students loved banging on it, playing extreme versions of table tennis and arm wrestling on it’s fragile corners. But, I was done, so one day we just got rid of it. The response from the students and even some of the leaders was of disappointment. I had taken away from them the one thing that meant a lot to them. So jokingly I would question them, “Does this mean you aren’t coming back to church?”

Of course they came back. Yet, after two years of begging I finally got another one. This time I went all in and got the “indestructible kind”. As soon as the students saw it you would have thought that I had just released them from prison. Shouts of praise emerged from their lips; they had their ping pong back.

Never did I worry that the ping-pong table was the central focus of the ministry; but, there are other things and programs that if we eliminate people go crazy. Most times people will get over an eliminated program; however, I’m willing to bet there is something in your ministry where if you got rid of it, people would tear off your head.

To them it’s essential to the life of the ministry; however, to you it’s just their:
SACRED COW

You know what I’m talking about, right? That event that you spend days upon weeks planning, only the fruit never outweighs the labor. The fundraiser that’s been a 10 year tradition; yet, it never brings in any money. The lock-in that never produces anything, but strung out, over sugared adolescence. In most cases you hate it, some people love it and there seems to be a lot of pressure to kill it. So how do you get rid of the SACRED COW in your ministry? You need to build a case by:

Listing The Pros And Cons – I know the strongest pro to ending any type of idol in your ministry is because you hate it; however, take into consideration many won’t find that a legitimate reason. There is always going to be something that we don’t enjoy, that we need to do; but, if what you are thinking about isn’t one of them, make a list. List out why you should keep it and why you should eliminate it. Granted people might not agree with you; however, they’ll respect a well thought out list.

Getting Some Backup – I’m blessed to have a pastor who will support me on 99% of my decisions. He’s entrusted me with the student ministry; therefore, I have final say. When people know that they tend to respect my decisions. But, if your pastor isn’t behind you, try to find people with clout who will support you. I know it sounds very suspicious; however, the people who might fight you, might do that because it’s you. Plus people will want to know you consulted others and that it isn’t a decision based on emotion.

Eliminating It For A Season – Lets say the emotion of getting rid of this program or event has consumed you. It’s fair to tell others that we are going to stop doing something temporarily. What that tells them is that you are willing to be wrong, you just want to see if there is another way of doing something. They’ll respect your flexibility.

Leaning On God – With conflict comes tension most of us don’t enjoy. If you strongly believe what you want to get rid of needs to go, and you know that there will be tension, lean into God. Maybe it’s spending some extra quiet time at the beginning of your day or having others pray alongside of you, just make sure you include God into all of your decisions.

We are all attached to something. No matter what it is, if someone were to take it from you, you would be upset. Doesn’t matter how much something harms or hurts your ministry, if people aren’t ready for you to get rid of it, they’ll fight. Take your time, build up your case and be as flexible as possible. When you show others that you’ve given something serious thought, they’ll trust you, even if they don’t agree.

What’s something that was hard for you to get rid of in your ministry?

Chris Wesley is the Director of Student Ministry at Church of the Nativity in Timonium, MD. You can read great articles and thoughts about youth ministry on his blog Marathon Youth Ministry.