Part 1-  God’s Love

What would be next on the list of truths that I would want for a girl to know before she leaves our ministry?

Her Body Does Not Define Her

I believe that this simple truth is one of the most powerful truths that a young woman can come to understand in her life. Everywhere she’ll turn, she will hear and see messages that tell her otherwise…and for most, the pursuit of contentment with their outward appearance will rob them of fully knowing all that God may have for them. It will fill their thoughts and it will consume their energy. EVEN those who know this truth will struggle…I would include myself. BUT, if a girl can believe that her body isn’t what defines her and she can walk in a confidence of who she really is…her heart and soul…a daughter of the Most High than she will be freed to walk boldly in all the areas that God calls her, to have authentic relationships with other females and to seek only good and healthy relationships with the opposite sex.  It is one of the most powerful truths that a girl can hear and know.

So, how do we help her know it?

We repeat it.

We communicate it with our non- verbals. We ask ourselves, “do we allow all types of personalities and shapes to be highlighted from the stage so that we communicate that appearance isn’t leadership?”

We don’t joke about body related issues.

We model it.

How do you communicate to your girls that their body doesn’t define them?

This is a repost from last summer…but as we prepare to send off another senior class (a really great one!!!)- I’ve been thinking about my hopes for the girls in our ministries.

I was inspired by Josh’s blog about 24 thoughts for graduating seniors…so for the next 3 days I want to share three truths that I hope girls who graduate from our ministry know as they leave.

Away She Goes- Part 1

In my head the first thing she needs to know should be a simple thought but the more I think about it the more complex it gets. So excuse me as I flush this out…and forgive me if it appears to be more than just one truth.

Before a girl leaves our ministry I hope she knows God’s love. It seems simple, right? See, I want her to know the depth of God’s love for her but I don’t want it to stop there. I want her to understand that this is a radical love for her that is not dependent on her behavior or performance. This love isn’t limited to her and she is called to be a giver of God’s love. I want her to understand the depth of God’s radical love…the kind that impacts every element of a girl’s life…her self confidence, her calling, her future and every relationship. 

So, as each girl leaves are ministry, as they go…I hope they would know that they are loved by God, who is the creator of all things.

We never stop speaking it.

We never stop showing it.

We never stop providing moments to experience it.

How do you teach a girl about God’s love?

Our church is in the middle of a series called Loaded Questions- this past weekend they tackled the question “Why does the church think women should be barefoot and pregnant?”

Great message! Check it out here!

Another reason I love my church…

This week I got a chance to hear Rachel Held Evans speak at one of the local universities in our area. I appreciate her writing and was excited to hear her. I was surprised by her gentle nature…she’s a fireball in her writing. She started with a story from her teens years that became a defining moment for her journey.

Here’s the deal, I can tell you have heard the same story from  multiple women in their 20′s, 30′s, 40′s and 50′s.  The common themes are mind blowing; they had heard the it from someone when they were a teenager, they were praised for their leadership skills followed by a statement that varies but is something like this…”it’s too bad your a girl and can’t be a pastor/preacher.”

Personally, I never heard that statement but I did hear a variation of it. I grew up in a denomination that ordained women. So, I was told what a great SINGLE missionary I would be some day.

All week I have been thinking about these stories.

And here are the problems with the word CAN’T:

1. Many women who I have encountered with this story have struggled with their faith. They doubt who they are and their place in God’s story. Why would He create them a certain way but not allow them to operate in their gifting.

2. Forgive me for sounding blunt…but maybe they can’t in your church or denomination BUT there are churches/denominations where they CAN. This isn’t about one denomination being better than another – it is just the simple truth that there are places in the church where a girl who is an Apostle or Pastor can be an Apostle or Pastor. I don’t know what it would look like for us to affirm a girl and then point her to another church but I have to believe it would be better than her doubting God and herself. (I am not sure that I could ever imagine this really happening but maybe that points to a bigger issue than just one about gender roles.)

3. “Because your a girl” – this statement makes me so sad because it speaks to the way society and unfortunately the church have devalued females. When we start with this statement as a reason not to be a pastor what we don’t understand (possibly because it is not understandable) is the way in which it gives permission for women to be perceived as less than…and I believe with all my heart that is just not biblical.

I am really not trying to be controversial. I am just grow weary of meeting women who wished someone would have said you can instead of you can’t. Women who doubted Jesus and the church because of a one little statement told to them when they were 15.

I pray that the church is becoming a place where we can dialogue openly and with love. I pray that less people, especially women, would be wounded by the words of those in positions of power in the church. Will you join me in this prayer? Will you join me changing the conversation?

Great video about our Dream Center Mission Trip! Made by a very talented intern on our team!

Got back on Sunday night from our mission trip to Dream Center. The trip was awesome! Our students were impacted and I believe we helped Dream Center accomplish their mission for the week.

Here is a few of my highlights from the week:

*Seeing Dream Center was the first highlight. They do amazing ministry and are transforming their community. As far as what you would hope for your students…Dream Center offered it. If you are looking for a place to go- check it out! Many of their staff are people whose lives have been changed by DC – our students got to hang out with ex-gang members who now love Jesus and give their life to his service.

*I had one of my more embarrassing moments in youth ministry. One morning we had a few moments to spare before we started our various ministries. Rory (my co-worker/boss) and I decided to do a little inspirational interpretive dance…to Firework by Katy Perry. It was going well…until I fell from one of my sweet jump dance moves. I landed flat on the ground. It was hilarious and embarrassing.

*KELLY! One of my small groups who has been with me since she was 9th grade and is now a senior had a major moment on this trip. When Kelly joined my group she was an insecure girl who made lots of poor choices with the opposite sex. Over the years, I have watched her grow and struggle to figure out her faith. One day she was with the group that went to serve lunch on Skid Row. While there she painted a few finger nails of some of the ladies. At one point, a lady asked Kelly if she would consider painting her toe nails. The Dream Center staff told Kelly she didn’t need to say yes…but that it was all up to her. She thought about it for one moment. She looked at the lady and told her she would gladly paint them. Kelly washed the lady’s feet and painted her toe nails. As Kelly retold this story to me, we both had began to cry…I told Kelly that in that moment was she never more like Jesus…and I was so proud of her. This is WHY I do youth ministry!

*On the flight home…I got bumped to first class because of my MVP status. 38 students in back of the plane…me in front with my chicken salad. I felt slightly guilty for a minute…and the the minute was over! It was so nice!

That was my week! Loved it!

What do you do for your mission trip?

6 Go-To Books I Recommend to Girls

Below you will find a list of my go-to books that I recommend to high school and college girls along with some of their thoughts of the books.

Before I suggest a book to a girl, I read it.  My goal is that the book will give us opportunity to engage in conversations, so I need to know the content, not just that it is a “good book”.  I want my girls to wrestle with what they believe or have always been told with fresh perspective, so that in the end they will think for themselves and seek God’s word for truth.

Love Does by Bob Goff     

Love Does is one of my new favorite books.  In fact it is one that I read with my children.  It is an easy, fun read.  But more than that, Love Does inspires readers to “love completely and unconditionally because of the impact it has on everyone around us!” –sophomore in college

“It [Love Does] inspired me to be more spontaneous in what I did!  I enjoyed it because I loved reading about how amazing his [Bob Goff] life was.” –senior in high school

”I enjoyed reading it because I got to see up close and personal how a one on one relationship with Jesus can affect not only ourselves, but the people we share this earth with.  It inspires me to unlock the boundaries that I put on love and love with all my heart in every moment in all my actions, just like Jesus did!” –freshman in college

Crazy Love by Francis Chan

I love going through Crazy Love with girls.   This book helps them to view their obedience to God is not as an obligation but in the way that demonstrates our love for Him.  It is exciting to see girls eyes open to this love that God has for them and how they can respond to Him.

“Crazy Love was a great recommendation because it made me realize that I need to take my relationship with God more seriously, not out of guilt but because I want to.  It encouraged me by reminding me that I didn’t want to have an average life; I want to do something amazing for God.” –sophomore in high school

His Princess: Love Letters From Your King by Sheri Rose Shepherd

His Princess is a book I use a lot.  It is full of “love letters” from God.  There are so many letters that are great for so many seasons of the girl’s lives.   Here is a thought from one of my girls about the letters in this book.

“I like them because I feel like they are written specifically for me and no one else.  They’re personal and written like how I imagine God to talk to me.  They encourage me because it makes me realize that God really is that personal and loving, I’m just not diving deep enough to find out.  They make me long to get to know Him and the other fantastic truths He is waiting to share with me.”  -senior in high school

“I think the love letters help me see my relationship with God in a way that I always have trouble envisioning it. It’s hard for me to view God like a lover because the world has so distorted our views of love. The letters remind me of the way that love is supposed to be; the way God loves us. It reminds me that He is always there for me, has faith in me, and believes that I can do the things that everyone else says I can’t; because with my strength that I receive through Him, anything is possible. They remind me that God is the only one who can fill the holes in my heart. They remind me that He has a plan for me and He knows want I need, and He will provide for me. They show me the model for what the man I give my heart to should strive to be like. I like the letters because they remind me who God is for me.” –junior in high school

For Young Girls Only by  Shaunti Feldhahn and Lisa A

I use For Young Girls Only in two ways.  One as a resource for preparation of a “boy talk” I do at our girls retreat.  The other is walking through it with mature girls who are ready for the information that this book has.

“I thought that was a great book, it really solidified the fact that boys have WAY different brains than us, and gave me little tips for how to treat guys.  Either in a romantic way or just friendship way.  And I also loved how it was still centered around God and also gave tips to how to encourage them in their faith too.” –sophomore in college

Lies Young Girls Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Dannah Gresh

Lies Young Women Believe has been a good book to help girls process the lies they believe verses the truth of God’s Word.  The conversations that have I have had from parts of this book have been life changing for some girls as the have realized the lies they were believing.

“This book hit home with a lot of issues I was struggling with at the time and helped a bunch.” –freshman in high school

Kisses From Katie by Katie Davis

This past summer we had the blessing of leading a student missions trip to Uganda, Africa.  I personally enjoyed reading this book as Katie was able to say so much of what I felt and experienced on that trip

“I like it [Kisses From Katie] because I can relate so much from it.  It encourages me to have more faith in God and trust Him in everything.” –sophomore in high school

Other Books Worth Mentioning:  Captivating, And the Bride Wore White, Bad Girls of the Bible, and The Hiding Place.

I’m always looking for new books to share with my girls, what are some recommendations do you have?

Kim Bowers is an amazing youth worker who is married to a youth pastor in Southern California. She recently wrote some amazing curriculum about the women in the Bible….be sure to check it out!