training parents | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: My 5 Epic Fails

Have you ever felt like a failure? Okay, we all have at some point, because we all fail. We all do certain things that may be great ideas, but go about it the wrong way, and utterly fail. One thing that I desire is for others’ to learn from my mistakes and failures. I try to do this with learning from others’ failures, and hopefully they can learn from mine as well. Today, I want to give you the top 5 failures that I have committed in student ministry:

Epic Fail #1- Train and Equip Parents- As I have grown in student ministry (not going on 7 total years), I have learned that the parents represented in our ministry is as important as the students we are ministering too. Now, I am trying to teach, share resources with, and help parents become better parents to effectively parent the teens of today’s culture. If you are first starting out in ministry, go ahead and begin equipping the parents to build stronger families.
Epic Fail #2- Recruit a team of adult leaders- In my earlier years of ministry; I had a couple of leaders, but did not set up an adult leadership that would take us to the next level like I should have. Regardless of the number of students in your ministry, it is important to begin building a team to take your ministry to the next level.
Epic Fail #3- Inform parents when disciplining a student- There have been some times where a student gets in trouble, and I do not inform parents, and then the parents come back with a twisted story from their teenager, and I have to backtrack a bit, and build their trust and relationship back. I have learned that when a student gets in trouble or has to be corrected in our student ministry on an event or on Wednesday night, it is always important to mention it to the parents. I do not care how small, but in doing so, it builds relationships with the parents, and builds a greater trust from them to you.
Epic Fail #4- Think through games and pranks- I am a prankster, and am personally okay with pranks. My failure is that we have not totally thought through pranks in our ministry. At camp we decided to play “human clue” and fake a real murder with the students. It seemed like a fantastic idea, but when it played out, we had students crying, had a girl faint, had a young boy call his mom for a lawyer, and upset some families that were at camp. What seemed like a fantastic idea was horrible, because it was not thought out. Think out your ideas of what could happen, and it will save you a lot of problems.
Epic Fail #5- Building relationships with the local schools- Do this first. This should be one of the top things in your ministry that you are consistently doing. I have wasted time in this area at my ministry, and now am trying to play catch up. Building relationships with schools takes a great deal of time, and it is important that you stay at it, and consistently plan time to build this relationship.

So, do not fail at these things, and try your best to learn from the epic fails that I have done in our student ministry.

Josh Evans is the student pastor at Union Grove Baptist Church in the Winston Salem, NC area. He has been a mentor and pastor to students for 4 years. You can connect further with Josh on his blog or send him a direct email at joshhevans@gmail.com.

Add Comment November 10, 2012

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: How to Empower Your Parents

The more that I am in student ministry, I realize that my ministry is not totally to the students. For years, student ministry became a ministry specifically for students, but not the parents. Now, it seems that student pastors and leaders are realizing that way of doing ministry created many problems, and is not the way that student ministry was designed to be. Student ministry is not a baby sitting service, but it is an avenue that we should be involved in to assist and partner with the parents! You are not the parent of that student, but you should be assisting and partnering with the parents. I work with parents, and I deal with many issues like you do. Today, I want to give you a few quick thoughts on empowering your parents to do their job:

Remind them that their students are their responsibility- Now, do not be ugly about this, but this is the truth, and they need to hear it. We are not held responsible for our students, but their parents are. I believe that parents will be held accountable for the way that they raise their students, not the youth pastor. Parents need to be reminded of this truth.
Listen to their struggles and frustrations- Do you have those parents who always come to you with their problems and struggles? Sometimes, it can be aggravating, but in reality, that is not necessarily a bad thing. They are venting to you looking for hope, and we have the hope of Jesus to give them! Give them hope in the midst of their frustrations and struggles.
Train your parents practically- Learn about student culture, and what parents are facing in their homes. I have a 1-year-old baby girl so I do not know a lot about a student in my home, and what we will face, but I can read and learn about it. Find the struggles, and train your parents through emails, blogs, resources, and meetings on how to overcome the different practical obstacles that they face with their teenager. When I first started out, my meetings and newsletters were solely informative, but there was no training. I now have realized that I wasted a couple of years of ministry and had to grow to learn that training parents is one of my main responsibilities. If you are not training them, do not expect to have a strong family ministry!
Love them- This is a lost principle in student ministry if you ask me. We love our students, and we would do anything for our students, but what would happen to our student ministry and our church if we treated each parent that same way? What if you went out-of-the-way for the parents like you do for the students? It is just a thought. Love them!

[Question]: How are you actively empowering and partnering with your parents?

Josh Evans is the student pastor at Union Grove Baptist Church in the Winston Salem, NC area. He has been a mentor and pastor to students for 4 years. You can connect further with Josh on his blog or send him a direct email at joshhevans@gmail.com.