We eat, sleep and drink youth ministry.

Every once in a while I (Kurt) will have somebody say to me something like, “Youth ministry is my life…I don’t know what I’d do without it!” To which I want to reply something like, “Gosh…I am so sorry to hear that!”

It makes sense that so many of us feel like our entire lives revolve around our role as a youth worker. Think about it: We love what we do, we are convinced in its importance, teenagers are high maintenance, parents are high maintenance, and church elders are high maintenance! We are typically under a ton of pressure for numerical and spiritual growth in our ministry, and many of us are so insecure we have somehow managed to find much of our identity and sense of value in our roles as youth workers. If you recognize yourself in any of what I just wrote, don’t be too hard on yourself…you are in good company!

For these very reasons, it is vital that you determine to have some sort of a life outside the church! Not sure what we mean? Here are a few suggestions:

Make friends outside the Christian bubble
As much as we need, and love, the connections with fellow believers, be sure you aren’t living in a weird little Christian bubble. It’s shocking that despite all the “missional youth ministry” language that is so popular, so few youth workers truly live a missional life. The reality is the longer you are a follower of Jesus, the fewer and fewer non-believing friends you tend to have, and the less and less time you tend to spend with them. Your circle, instead of increasing and becoming more inclusive, has a natural tendency to decrease and become less inclusive.

Enjoy your hobby
Spend some time enjoying what you enjoy. In the hectic pace of ministry you can lose sight of just “checking out” and having fun. For me (Josh) it is all about Call of Duty or trying not to accidentally crash my Air Hog into the community pool. For me (Kurt) it is all about dirt bikes or reading a good book. Find something you enjoy and do it. We encourage every youth worker to take their day off seriously – don’t sit at home working on that talk that needs finishing. Relax, refresh and re-energize by doing the things you love to do!

Take some extended time off
Building a life outside the church isn’t an easy task – especially if you are in a pretty deep rut. We’ve learned that a single day here and there usually won’t break the habits so many of us find ourselves in. If you have the freedom to do so, consider taking some extended time away from the church. Take back-to-back vacation weeks, escape for a 48 hour silent retreat, Call an old friend from high school and schedule a fishing trip or scrap-booking weekend (that one was Josh’s idea).

Do you eat sleep and drink youth ministry, too? Take a break today!

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.

Was talking to some younger youth workers this past week and they had a great question – when do you take vacation from your church/youth ministry? Is there a particular time of the year or month that is easiest, best or most needed personally? Vote in this week’s poll and explain your answers in the comments.

For me, I love August – the calm before the “back to school” storm. And recently I’ve started to really embrace Christmas season as well. That one is still busy at the church, but there’s plenty of time to be stolen/taken off there to give you a break from the day to day of youth group. Thoughts?

JG

OUTRAGEOUS!

IRRESPONSIBLE!

NEGLECTFUL!

I’m currently on holidays… and I have a problem.

Like me, you have probably heard a lot about appropriate boundaries and taking sufficient annual leave. Each year, in our January staff meeting, we all lock in our holidays for the next 12 months. The problem, which I assume I am not alone in confronting, is the timing of my current holidays.

At the moment, in Australia, we are in the middle of a school term. Is it reasonable for a youth pastor to take time off during school term? (To be clear, I usually take time off when kids are also on vacation.) Is it reasonable for a church to “strongly suggest” that you cannot take a week off at another time?

I’m genuinely torn about the issue. I have known/worked for churches where this isn’t an issue and known others where it has caused major fallout. Trouble is, I can make an argument for both sides. If you plan ahead, let everyone know and adequately resource others, is there a problem? If you use this time to evaluate the ministries reliance on your personality and utilise this time as a chance to train up others, are your holidays reasonable? Additionally, if you have a jam packed “holiday window between terms” through camps/mission trips and forward planning, is it fair to go six months (or more) without time off? Alternately, there are plenty of “down times” in youth ministry due to the layout of the school year. Should it be your responsibility to arrange that your holidays fall in this time frame?

If other jobs, retail particularly, can dictate time frames where their employees cannot take leave (usually November to mid-January), why should those within the church be immune to this reality?

I would love to know how youth ministers and churches have dealt with this issue.

Graham Baldock is a Youth Pastor from Sydney, Australia and has a youth ministry blog worth checking out at grahambaldock.blogspot.com

Was reading my friend Matt McGill’s blog earlier and he mentioned how he made a mistake because he was tired. We’ve all been there! Made me think of the ways youth workers need to fight fatigue in ministry. Here’s what I attempt to do:

Be refreshed by friends
Sometimes just the ticket you need is hanging with people (I supposed the opposite could be true for some personalities). Maybe there’s some friend who you could bounce your ideas and frustrations off of, or maybe there’s a friend outside of youth ministry that you could hang with and not even begin to approach talking shop. Either type of person you may need, make sure you carve out some time to spend with them.

Make the big decision that’s been draining you
Often times a game-changing or potentially painful decision sits right in front of you and robs you of your passion and energy. Make the call! You might be surprised at the freedom and renewed excitement you feel once you get that out of the way. If it is a tough conversation, pray about it and then have it. Tackle that energy-busting obstacle you’ve been putting off.

Do something fun
Youth ministry fatigue usually sets in when you aren’t getting enough rest or are all work and no play. So find an afternoon soon where you can get away for a few hours and relax.

Get away from it all
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do about feeling drained without just simple taking some time off. This week I’m nearly completely offline (any posts that you read on the blog have been set to post each day automatically) and spending time with the family. Fight fatigue with fun. Hit the beach. Go to Disneyland. Leave your laptop, turn off your phone and get away.

What do you do to fight fatigue?

JG

I heard recently that a scary 90% of people who get into ministry fail for one reason or another. And I’m not naïve enough to think that the entire 90% are failing because of unforeseen circumstances or an economic crisis.

If you are one of those that may be on the brink of burnout, it might be time for a self-check. The following points are helpful hints I’ve been given from friends who’ve gone through this and wish they knew then what they know now.

1. Don’t go through this alone!
Whatever you do, find some friends in ministry and cultivate friendships. One of the most powerful elements in church leadership is the concept of friendship. Sometimes, just having lunch with a friend in ministry can be super therapeutic.

2. Re-visit your calling.
Remember when you felt passion for ministry for the first time? Spend some time looking through the Scriptures that God spoke clearly to leaders a calling that would end that leader up in sure peril. Sometimes, all we need to see is that it is not uncommon for us to experience spiritual drought while following God.

3. Seek out a mentor.
Lots of times, we just need a fresh ear to help us navigate ministry tensions. This role is different for everyone. Maybe it’s an old youth pastor that spent time with you. Maybe you can apply for a coaching network with a church leader you admire. Just get connected with someone who’s been there and start gleaning.

4. Take a vacation.
If you’re like me and you’re reading this, your first question was definitely, “Where am I going to get the money to take a vacation?” Maybe you need a ‘stay-cation!” Whatever it is – take some time off to recharge your batteries. Hear me clearly: vacationing is not running away from your problems. They’ll be there when you get back. Just take some time with those you love and clear your head for a while.

5. Go where you get inspired.
Sometimes, when we put work on hold for a short while so that we can engage in something we love, a passion is re-ignited. What inspires you? Painting? Coffee shops? Concerts? Books? Conferences? Nature? Chase it.

6. Spend a lot of time doing what you thrive in.
How much of your work week is spent doing things that you absolutely hate? If it’s more than 25%, you need to restructure. I’m going to invite you to read a series of books by Marcus Buckingham. He talks a lot about strengths-based leadership, and helps us to understand that most of us are sick and tired of our job because we spend so much time doing the things that drain us. What if we could restructure in such a way that 75% of our time was spent doing the things that we thrive in? Most likely, you’re thinking, “That’s not possible.” I don’t know you. But I will disagree with you. It’s more possible than you think. Church leaders have the most important ‘job’ in the world. We should not be locked down by things that shackle our passion!

Whatever you do, don’t lose heart! God called you into something big! And our God is a big God! Don’t you dare quit! God has placed the equipment in your hands to do the work that He wants you to do. Don’t lose heart!

Mark Cox is the Student Pastor at Indian Springs Baptist Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. You can watch for more posts from Mark at http://thinknextnow.com or connect on facebook or twitter.

Thought that DC had some good thoughts over on Curry Stew this week – loved his post about keeping your edge in youth ministry. Here’s a clip of his experience and wisdom, head over there for how he’s applying it to his ministry this season:

1. Always be Learning something new! This is more than “being current” on what’s going on around you.  What new technology, skill, principle can you be sharpening that God can bless.  What passage of Scripture have you heard 10,000 times that God wants to make new TODAY?!!
2. Work harder than everyone else. When you’re working…WORK HARD!  I’m all in favor of a good “brain-break”, “vacation”, “day-off”, “Sabbath” but when you’re in the office, GET IT DONE!!!
3. Find some finishers. Seek out people who are willing to go the extra mile NOT just “get it done”.  Personally those people make me want to………..on to the next bullet.
4. Harness a nothing to lose attitude. Sounds reckless huh?  Well in nature it is, but in principle it’s exactly what’s needed to keep the edge on emerging culture.

JG

Poll question for the full-time youth workers out there – how many days do you take off a week? In my ministry context, we get Mondays. Curious about your schedule.

JG

Enjoyed reading Jeremy’s post over on REYouthPastor talking about burnout and youth ministry. He asks some good questions, and I’d love to read some of your thoughts on the subject or burnout. Here’s a clip of his stuff, head over there to read the whole thing and comment if you would like:

Pain is part of the youth pastor job description.  Does experiencing pain and exhaustion season a youth pastor? One of the biggest negative aspects of being a youth pastor is that working with students stunts our emotional and life growth.

Many youth pastors try so hard to dodge the “burn out” bullet.

We try to take more days off, vacations, see a psycho-therapist, take a monthly spiritual retreat, and pursue spiritual formation but it seems like we are only left with more exposed pain, exhaustion, and burn out.  There is this belief that if you burn out, you are a bad youth pastor because apparently you didn’t take enough days off or establish healthy boundaries.  I think the exact opposite is true.

America’s best youth pastors are the youth workers who have learned and persevered through their many painful and hurtful church experiences.  The youth pastors that persevere make it, but the youth pastors that live in the past and become jaded don’t make it.

My point – the best youth pastors are the youth pastors who burn out or get burned because very early on they learn to forgive and to let go.

JG

It has been too long since I passed another milestone on the Xbox 360 – one of the ways (of probably 5) that I measure successful “me” time away from youth ministry is my Gamerscore steadily increasing. And last night, helped by Frontlines: Fuel of War and Red Dead Redemption, we crossed 36,000. Finally!

JG

Got a few emails and comments asking about vacation time for youth workers. I had mentioned in an earlier post that I am in the middle of taking 100 hours of vacation this month to be Mr. Mom as my wife enjoys an overseas mission trip to Africa. I’ve already posted about The Vacations We Take Each Year, and here are a few additional thoughts and ideas about vacation time:

• VACATION TIME: We accumulate vacation time each work week at our church. Depending on how long you’ve served at the church, the faster you accumulate time off. For the typical employee you get two weeks of vacation, so roughly 1.6 hours per week worked (80 hours a year). You can “bank” up to two years of your annual amount of vacation time.
• COMP TIME: Officially, there is no such thing as “comp time” at Saddleback. You’re expected to work 50 hours a week, and if you work more it doesn’t matter. Obviously, that makes things like camps or retreats a bit unrealistic, but such is life. As a supervisor myself, I may choose to me more lenient on my team and offer lighter schedules and be keenly aware of the temperature of my team. I don’t always get it right, but I try to be the understanding youth ministry boss that I haven’t always been privileged to have throughout my youth ministry career.
• FLEXIBLE SCHEDULE: Forward-thinking companies like Netflix realize that in some environments work hours are messy and don’t fit into traditional banking hours. That comp time is impossible to track, and that people who don’t turn it off are better when they take longer more ambiguous stretches of time off. Interesting article in the Wall St. Journal – but don’t expect your church to understand this concept. I would make a guess that the person who is in charge of your office/work culture probably is a bit more traditional/straight-laced to take this big of a risk from the norm.
• SPIRITUAL RETREAT DAY: Occasionally I’ll give my team a spiritual retreat day, an 8-hour day that are focused completely on personal spiritual development of their heart and to reconnect with God. We work hard, and the biggest shame of working hard would be to not work alongside with the Spirit’s leading. So no busy work or email is allowed, and everyone is asked to send a paragraph report on what God said to them. I should do this more often, if for my own heart than anything else.
• CAMPS ARE NOT VACATION: Camps and retreats NEVER count as vacation. I read an “out of office” reply last week from a youth worker at camp and it said they were “on vacation” – don’t affirm that terrible stereotype that because you are away you are NOT on vacation. If this is present in your church culture, it is a fight worth fighting in my opinion.
• CONFERENCE ALLOWANCE: Conferences also do not count as vacation time – our church gives me a couple days of free personal development time as well. I’ve worked in and heard of many others that wrap vacation/conferences into one to save money or because it does use vacation time. In this economy a raise is unlikely anyhow, so perhaps make the ask for a couple paid days away to grow in your expertise.
• WHEN TO FIT IN VACATION: Late summer works best for me to take vacation time – the summer calendar starts to wain and the fall kickoff isn’t quite here yet. I like to think of it as the calm before the storm. Actually, I’m writing this post in the calm of some time away right now. Feels good. I should do this more often.
• WHAT ABOUT YOUTH GROUP WHEN I’M AWAY: When I’m on vacation, I give the platform away to trusted voices and voices I want to develop. This block that I’m gone right now I’m having a few experienced and inexperienced voices in front of our students, I’m excited because this weekend a volunteer and his small group are teaching.

How does your church do vacation time? When was the last time you were on vacation? Any tips or tricks to share with the MTDB community?

JG