Josh GriffinMore Posts4 Ways for Your Youth Ministry to be More Relational

Our focus this week on relational youth ministry brings us to the practical question: How can we make our student ministry more relationship-based? Here are a few ways we’re trying to do just that in our ministry.

1 – Add a “welcome time” to youth group each week.
We’ve all seen this before, the “shake hands with 15 people around you” but when used sparingly it can be really effective. As your group grows, it’s surprisingly easy for the “basics” like a warm greeting to slip through the cracks!

Our students have come to love this time—we’ve expanded it to several minutes so that people can actually have a short conversation rather then just a cursory greeting. This is a great chance for introductions to be made, too! We have a volunteer every week who works hard to get to know someone new and makes it a point to introduce them to us specifically each week.

2 – Have everyone in place before and after the service.
If you are still running around finalizing details of your program when everyone is coming in, it’s gonna be tough to be relational! Work hard to do program-related stuff before students arrive; if you’re still dialing things in as they’re walking in, it’s simply too late. And tell everyone on your volunteer team they are “dead to each other” once youth group starts.

3 – Build down time to hang at every event.
If you’re at a youth conference, camp, or other big event, the planners have been paid to fill up every waking moment with something. In many cases, youth leaders choose a late-night option or yet another training session when what the group might need is some discussion time.

Maybe a break is in order, and you need to ditch a session and go get some frozen yogurt and just talk over what they’ve already learned. Relational ministry fights the go, go, go approach.

4 – Train your leaders in the art of asking good questions.
Help your leaders ask good questions—open-ended questions that require thoughts instead of a simple yes or no. Help them have an instantly ready queue of questions to ask someone they are meeting for the first time. Give them the tools to help them fight the awkward silences of first getting to meet someone.

This post was written by Josh Griffin and Kurt Johnston and originally appeared as part of Simply Youth Ministry Today free newsletter. Subscribe to SYM Today right here.

Josh GriffinMore PostsGUEST POST: Some Girl Invited Me

I serve as a volunteer service coordinator at my church’s youth group.

As I was checking on some things during our youth service on Wednesday night, a college age guy walked into the room. He stood awkwardly in the back of the room seeming as if he was looking for someone. Since I was close by, I walked over and introduced myself to him. I also asked him if I could help him find a place to sit. He told me his name and then said, “I’m here because some girl invited me.” I laughed and said, “Well, I hope you find her.”

He continued to hangout in the back of the room and survey the crowd. Since he walked in during the sermon, he decided to just stay standing in the back until after service. I had to leave him because I had some things that I needed to check on, but I made a mental note to check up on him after service.

After service I had a chance to talk with him. I was able to make a connection with him and invite him back for the following Wednesday night. I also had one of our college guys go over and talk with him and make him feel welcome. The student I sent to chat with him even exchanged cell phone numbers with him and introduced him to a few of his friends.

All of that being said, I did not write this article to show how awesome I am. I wrote this article because I believe that there are millions of people just like this young adult who visit our youth groups and churches every week. God sends them to us, but we have to keep our eyes open for them. How many young men and young women come awkwardly into our services each week and are never greeted or talked to? How many young people do we overlook that God sends our way?

May we keep our eyes and ears open to the young people that God sends to us.

Joey Berrios is a volunteer youth worker, educator, designer, and writer.

Josh GriffinMore PostsGUEST POST: Have You Slept in All of the Beds?

Over the holidays my wife and I spent a week in Charlotte at my wife’s parent’s house. They are great hosts and always make sure we feel welcomed, relaxed and taken care of. My mother-in-law is passionate about hospitality. She loves hosting guests and entertaining, and she does a great job of it.

I just discovered that when her and my father-in-law moved into their home, they spent a night in each of the guestrooms in the house. Why? Because they wanted to know what the experience would be like for their guests. They took note of the different room temperatures, the comfort of the beds, noises, the light the comes through in the morning, etc.

Talk about a commitment to your goal! As leaders this should be our mentality, we should be willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish our mission.

Are you trying to make your church or youth group more welcoming?
Have you ever visited another church or group just to feel what it’s like to be a visitor?

Are you trying to reach a new level of excellence in your programming?
Have you ever run through an entire service; message, music and all, in advance to find the weak spots?

Are you trying to make a relationally-focused youth ministry?
Have you ever tried to go on campuses near your school or attend students games and performances?

Are you trying to do a better job with publicity and advertising?
Have you ever paid attention to how you receive and interpret marketing?

These are just a few questions I thought of. The questions we need to be asking are all unique to our ministries. What are you trying to accomplish? How can you get a new perspective on that goal? What room haven’t you slept in yet? These are the questions that people who are committed to their ministry ask. Don’t settle for the status quo, find something to improve on. Be willing to sleep in all the beds.

Stuart Owens is the youth director at his childhood church in Tallahassee, FL. You can read more at his blog, www.stuartrowens.com.