youth pastor life | More Than Dodgeball

Josh GriffinMore Posts POLL: Caffeine-Driven Youth Ministry

Got to keep running as a youth worker – what’s your caffeinated beverage of choice? Vote in today’s poll!

JG

12 View Comments March 29, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 5 Things to do When Students Complain

It doesn’t happen all the time, but every once in a while you will get one or a few students that have a concern about some element of your youth ministry and want to talk about. These are not conversations I look forward to, but I have had enough of them that I can share the steps I use to get through it and keep the leader-student relationship intact.

Listen: The student who is coming to see you has likely thought long and hard about this conversation, so when you meet let them speak. Makes notes if you have to, the more information you get, the more you have to work with as your respond. The student might be expecting you to just dismiss them so hearing them out will be very disarming and allow a great conversation to follow.

Is it Biblical?: Now that you have heard the student’s concern about the program, are they highlighting something we are doing that is contrary to scripture? This is a great question to ask the student and chew on with them. It might put them on the spot, but it drives home the point that our goal should be to have a Youth Ministry that functions in accordance to Biblical principals. The majority of the time, student complaints are a reflection of taste and personal preference and that you are not running the youth group to their desire and if this is the case, remain calm and proceed to step 3.

Articulate the vision: Perhaps they don’t know why you don’t have the latest Skillet album playing every week when students are arriving, or that having acoustic worship as opposed to a full band means that the Worship team has less opportunities to serve. If you ask me to explain the intentional elements and reasoning behind our youth services, you better be sitting down because I could take an hour. The students don’t know all of that, and when you share why you do one thing and not another they appreciate the insider look at why things are done a certain way. While you are at it, share with that students where God is moving in the area they are concerned about, they might be surprised to hear it.

Recap and clarify: They have come to you with something they think might be wrong; make sure that you have not confused that student with Christianese Pastor Talk. This is the time to prove that you listened but reiterating their concerns and summarizing your response to it. This is really meant to make sure that they don’t leave frustrated for feeling unheard because you may not agree with them, but you cared enough to hear them out and explain why things are not changing.

Thank them: Sticking your neck out does not come easy to everyone and for a student to make time to come see you and share something they are passionate about is a big deal. Make sure you thank them, not only for their time, but for their passion for the youth ministry and willingness to talk to you and not to talk to all of their friends instead (they probably did talk to their friends about it, but verbally giving them the benefit of the doubt will go a long way). You don’t have to agree with them to appreciate the feedback/criticism, take it and be thankful.

These sort of conversations are not my favorite, but are a necessary part of being a Youth Pastor and if done well, are amazing growth opportunities for students and ourselves.

Geoff Stewart is the Pastor of Jr & Sr High School for Journey Student Ministries at Peace Portal Alliance Church and regularly contributes GUEST POSTS to MTDB. Want to get in on the fun? See how right here.

1 View Comments March 27, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts What to Do When a Student Leaves Your Youth Group

Students leaving your youth ministry is a tough reality of what we do as youth workers. I thought that Paul Turner had some timely thoughts about losing students from your ministry today on his blog. Here’s a clip of his action steps, if this is something you’re dealing with I would encourage you to head there for the rest!

4. Encourage kids to see the future
When a student leaves, and it could effect others, move quickly to rally the troops. Talk with them about the future and the vision of the youth ministry. Share with them how you see them making this happen and that they are valued.

5. Don’t close the door or give away their seat
Kids are fickle. If they leave by their own choice to another group, whether it’s be a heat of the moment decision or a gradual drift, keep communication lines open. I have had kids leave and come back a year later. I have kids who went to other groups but still call me when they have a problem. Just because a kid is not in your group any longer, does not mean God has released you from them or cancelled any future plans to minister to them. Oh, that girl that left my group and told the group why she was leaving? I am performing her wedding this year.

You can’t stop kids from leaving. It’s part of the job. We have to learn, as hard as it may be, not to take each one personally. We have to look to the Lord, who Himself had a mass exodus at a critical time in his life. Yet, we find Him visiting with those same disciples, eating fish and chatting around the fire about life. If He can do it, so can we.

JG

1 View Comments March 18, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Capital Letters

I have a problem. Okay, maybe problem is too strong of a word.

Issue. There we go, I have an issue. Although not a detrimental one, but an issue none the less.

I constantly capitalize random letters.

I know you’re thinking to yourself right now “Oh My Word! We need to get that guy an intervention” And while it is not a problem that causes any real issue, it is really really annoying.

The sad part is, I don’t even realize that I do it. I do realize that I intentionally capitalize some words for emphasis, such as God or Youth Worker, but more often than not I find myself capitalizing random words like Outside or Yourself. This may seem like a boring topic to talk about, but I promise it will all make sense in a little bit. In terms of grammar, we are taught that we capitalize proper nouns. David, California, and Chick-fil-a. We capitalize the terms that are not run of the mill terms. We capitalize terms that are big deals.

So in essence, when I capitalize the first letter of a word it is the same as saying “Hey look! This is important! This is a big deal”

I have to be careful that I don’t unintentionally capitalize words and phrases that were never intended to be, thus making them a bigger deal than they are. As a Youth Worker, I have to be careful that I don’t do the same thing in how I lead my local Student Ministry.

There are going to be issues and problems that arise in your Student Ministry regardless of how well or how poorly that it is run. That is a fact. Write it down or tuck it away in the back of your mind, because you WILL encounter issues as a Youth Worker. You will have to make tough decisions. You will have struggles. That is just an occupational hazard.

The question you need to as yourself as you lead your Student Ministry is simply this: What will I capitalize and what will I lower-case? Or better yet “What will I make a big deal out of and what will I let go?”

Do you capitalize “Numerical Growth” and minimize “Spiritual Growth”?
Do you capitalize “Fun” and minimize “Spirituality”?
Do you capitalize “What I don’t have” and minimize “What I do have”?
Do you capitalize “What others think” and minimize “What God thinks”?
Do you capitalize “Lack of budget” and minimize “God will provide”?
Do you capitalize “My Students aren’t getting it” and minimize “It’s sinking in”?

What are you making a bigger deal out of than you should? What are you capitalizing that God is wanting to be lowercase and what are you making lowercase that He wants you to capitalize? I had this teacher in high school named Ms. Holt. I don’t remember much about her, but I do remember that she would always give me a hard time when I would accidentally capitalize words that shouldn’t be. Every time I turned in a paper, I would usually get it back with some red marks from my teacher showing where I had capitalized words that I shouldn’t have. It became almost laughable at the shear volume of red marks that would be on my paper when I got it back after being graded.

I wonder sometimes if God looks at us with a red ink pen in hand. Not to correct us or make us feel like we’re doing wrong, but so that He can look at our lives and mark the places that we allow some things to be bigger deals than they actually are. Where we capitalize things that should be lower case. The truth of the matter is that when God looks at you as a Youth Worker and at what you and your local ministry can accomplish, He sees a capital letter.

You may capitalize Doubt, Fear, Insecurity and Ignorance, but He looks at those as lowercase letters compared to what He can accomplish through you. Your mission, your vision, and the ultimate destination for your Student Ministry is a capital letter in His eyes. That thing that you have been fighting and may still be struggling with that you have capitalized is just a lowercase letter in the eyes of God.

He is able to take those things that are big problems in your local setting and make them not such big problems anymore. Those big issues that you don’t see how they can be fixed He can make smaller. Those big circumstances that you don’t quite know how to navigate, He can lead you through. So what are you facing right now in your Student Ministry that you need Jesus to lowercase? Now, if you will excuse me, it’s time to check this post and see if I randomly capitalized any words again.

Noah Watt serves as the Student Pastor at Lone Star Church in Madisonville, KY. When not hanging out with his wife Bethany, Noah can be found hanging out with the coolest group of Students on the planet, reading or writing on his blog, “The Backstage Project”, at www.whatihavelearnedbackstage.wordpress.com

Add Comment March 6, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts 3 Cries and 3 Dreams

Occasionally I’ll post a question or thought that I won’t answer in hopes that you will. Today is one of those days! Here you go:

What are your top 3 cries to God?
What are your top 3 dreams?

Very interested to hear what you have to say!

JG

7 View Comments February 28, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts My Out of Office Reply While I Was in Kenya

I have a little tradition of out of office replies while I’m away from the church office. Here’s the one that shuts off tomorrow (read others from Christmas here and last year’s Spring Break trip here):

Thanks for your email!

I’m currently out of the country on an overseas mission trip with 30 amazing HSM students and leaders to Africa. I won’t be able to get to your email until I return and recover a bit from jetlag. If you need help in the meantime, please email Alaina Hart (alainah@saddleback.com) and she’ll get you directed to someone else right away.

And since I won’t get to say it in person …

Happy Groundhog Day
Happy Charles Dickens Day
Happy Candlemas
Happy Bob Marley Day
Happy Thomas Edison’s Birthday
Happy Torture Abolition Day
Happy Boy Scout’s Birthday
Happy Chinese New Year’s Day
Happy Abraham Lincoln’s Birthday
Happy Mexican Constitution Day
Happy Valentine’s Day

JG

1 View Comments February 15, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: 5 Ways to Cure The Ministry Blahs

Thanks to Josh for letting me guest blog on MTDB. I had to have him stare at a picture of Obi-Wan Kenobi saying, “These are not the droids you are looking for” to convince him. And it worked.

This can be a difficult time of year in youth ministry, especially for us northerners. Discouragement runs rampant like gossip among cheerleaders. And we question whether we’re in the right place. Pizza delivery jobs look attractive – and definitely less stressful. The reality is that youth ministry has a devious way of pressing us to the point where we feel frayed and spent — and we just want someone to clean up the mess in aisle ‘us’.

I want to say one thing: Stay Encouraged. What you do in youth ministry is important. I get to see the results of your work – and it matters. So, hang in there.

In my work with leaders, I’ve noticed five practices that help cure the ministry blahs. They aren’t anything you probably haven’t considered before, but that doesn’t mean they’re ineffective. So, here’s my prescription to cure the ministry blahs. And, hey, I am a doctor.

1. Take your temperature: Watch your reactions – especially when things don’t go your way. Do you get angry? Fearful/insecure? Depressed? Lonely? These emotions are the canaries in the cave to let you know something’s wrong ahead. Anger is most common and, unfortunately, most of us are unaware of how we respond to others. Pay attention to how you react and learn why you feel that way. Those feelings could be telling you something.

2. Develop a non-digital hobby — this one may seem weird, but it’s one of my new recommendations to leaders. And it helps. Most healthy leaders I see have a hobby where they work with their hands or get outdoors. It can be fishing, sailing, gardening, biking, golf, tennis, woodworking, bird watching, weight lifting – or even dodgeball. I’ve seen dramatic changes among hard-driving pastors — changes that their staff and family appreciate. And, no, scrap-booking doesn’t count.

3. Get away on a non-digital retreat – as I blogged a few weeks ago, the social media world draws us in and demands more and more. It’s never done. Take a two-day retreat from all of your screens and from consumerism’s “discontentedness”. Create some margins in your life — get acquainted with a good book, your spouse, and the outdoors.

4. Renew your first love — Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day (and I hope you’ve done well to celebrate). I’ve discovered that I need to renew my love for Jesus — to remind myself of what he’s done in my life and of his call on my life. When I’m in the blah’s, I’ve often forgotten the “to serve” element of youth ministry (Mark 10:35-45) and made it about me. So, I’ll do whatever it takes to renew my relationship with Christ and quit being so self-focused.

5. Take intentional ministry steps. Pick five students you don’t know well to invest in for the remainder of the school year. It’s easy to figure out how to coast until the end of the school year and just manage. However, developing an intentional and relationally intensive ministry to five new teens will remind us of why we entered youth ministry in the first place — to personally make a difference in the life of youth. Some of my greatest youth ministry ‘successes’ with students came during these February/March efforts.

If you tried any of these (and they helped), I’d love to hear about it. You can let me know at terrylinhart.com. And stay encouraged. What you do in youth ministry matters!

Terry Linhart is co-editor of the forthcoming book, GLOBAL YOUTH MINISTRY, and author of the popular TALKSHEETS: LIFE OF CHRIST series.

Add Comment February 13, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Don’t Lose Heart!

I heard recently that a scary 90% of people who get into ministry fail for one reason or another. And I’m not na

Add Comment February 12, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Follow the Leader

Just got my tale handed to me from a guy in Texas. Actually it was through a message from last years Right Now Conference by Tim Ross of the Potters House in Texas. The message was a challenge to make sure that we are being the person that others should be following.

If you consider yourself a leader think back to when you played the little game “follow the leader” on the playground. You are the guy in the front of a line taking all of those behind you where you want them to go. You are the one at the front of the line that is being imitated by everyone behind you. I know it may be a bit over simplified but in essence that is what you are doing as a leader.

Do you ever stop and consider where you are taking them and what they are imitating.

In Romans 12:8 Paul encourages those who have been given the gift of leadership to take that responsibility seriously. I take that responsibility very seriously…or at least think that I do.

Tim Ross brings out 1st Corinthians 4:3 where Paul speaks these words…
“For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. So I urge you to IMITATE ME!”

It’s one thing to play a silly little game on a playground where you see where you can get people to go and how funny you can get them to act. But it is a CRAZY BRAVE thing to URGE…not just ask…but urge people to “IMITATE ME, follow me, do what I do”. But Paul is not just telling people to follow him up a hill or through the swings, flapping their arms while barking like a dog.

Paul is telling them in 1st Corinthians 11:1
“You should IMITATE ME as I IMITATE CHRIST.”

As a Spiritual Leader (whether you are a pastor, church staff, department leader, team member, FATHER or MOTHER, or BELIEVER) it is our responsibility to lead others to and in a growing relationship with Jesus Christ.

Can you make the same declaration as Paul…”IMITATE ME as I IMITATE CHRIST. Because, if you imitate me then you are becoming more like Christ?”

If they do imitate you are they be becoming more or less like Christ?

OUCH…I know it hurts me to…

But think about that for a moment.

There are two groups of people that we are leading; those that we lead because we have been given that place or position. Then there are those around us who are following without ever being asked to do so. They do because of our relationship with them. Maybe they have seen us pass by and have just jumped in line following us around the playground of life.

Either way we have been given the “gift of leadership”and we must take that responsibility seriously. Imitate Christ…so that when they imitate you…they are really only imitating Him.

Steven Moore is the husband to a beautiful woman, father to TWO adorable daughters, pastor to amazing teenagers, son of the Father (Romans 8:15-16). Check out his blog right here.

Add Comment February 11, 2011

Josh GriffinMore Posts GUEST POST: Life is Hard, Take a Nap and Fight Back

Life is hard. Ministry is hard. Balancing ministry and family and school and my own soul is hard. It just is… and it’s so hard, that life has a way of knocking good people out of the game. I’ve been in ministry long enough to have seen first hand the casualties of marriages, careers, families, and personal faith all destroyed by hard stuff and poor choices that followed.

In an effort to not become a casualty of the same statistics, I had to confess this past December that I was becoming a victim of my own bad habits and neglecting the care of me for the care of others. I know this to be theologically and practically wrong, but I still was doing it. First to go was exercise. Then reading. Then sleep. Then eating right. Then…. I started kicking the dog. It was bad.

So I have had to make the following adjustments before my kids call dog protective services on me:

ME TIME IS NOT SELFISH TIME, IT’S NECESSARY TIME. If I don’t take care of my own body and soul, I quickly lose the energy I need to be a decent dog owner. Nevermind the husband I want to be, the father I need to be, and the minister I was called to be. This time is the easiest time for me to give away to other pressures. I’ve had to make strong steps and seek accountability to not let this slide anymore.

I CAN’T BE ACCESSIBLE ALL THE TIME. I’ve had to fight back on the “I’m a youth pastor 24-7″ mindset. I’ve been trying to come home, put down my computer and cell phone, and be fully present to my wife and kids. I’ve had to limit my time on Facebook, Twitter, and even e-mail at work. I’ve had to block out “do not interrupt” time on my calendar where I can get stuff done. Truth is, I’m really not this important and I don’t need to be this accessible. They invented 911 for things that can’t wait. Everything else can.

I CAN’T DO ANYTHING THAT IS NOT MY JOB. It feels super good to be helpful to others. I’m not saying I can’t be a team player. But I am saying, sometimes my life gets too stressful because I take on that which was not mine to do in the first place. I can’t be the 911 dispatcher and I can’t be superman either…

… and when I let these walls down, the first thing that goes is exercise and then it’s only a matter of time before I’m kicking the dog again.

Brian is a youth ministry veteran of 16 years, currently the student ministries pastor at Journey Community Church near San Diego, CA. And he blogs!