GUEST POST: 5 Ways to Help Students Deal with Tragedy and Pain

on March 5th, 2010

We’ve all been there, but some of us don’t want to admit it. How could we be so bold as to question if God really cares? In reality many of us have walked through a time in our lives when we thought God had abandoned us. In their song “Never Alone,” Barlow Girl expresses that feeling perfectly; “I waited for you, today, but you didn’t show.”

Here’s the bottom line; if we as leaders are asking these questions then you can imagine what is going on inside the students in your youth group. As they face pressure and crisis, they have real questions that deserve authentic answers. Questions like:

  • “God, if You know everything, why do I feel so alone?”
  • “God, why did You let my friend commit suicide?”
  • “God, I have a question for You, ‘Why did You let me get abused?’”
  • “God, if you’re really in control, why can’t I get rid of this secret sin?”
  • “God, if You really know everything, why don’t you fix everything and why don’t you just fix everybody, because if I was God, that’s what I would do.”

There are no Christian clichés that will suffice in the hard times of life. We have to take our students to the Word of God, not to the “Christian answers.” I know that Romans 8:28 is a great verse and that it is true. However, simply dispensing it like an over-the-counter drug to an abused student or one who has just lost a loved one is not acceptable.

The reality we have to admit is some “why” questions can only be answered with “Who” answers. At first blush, this can sound like the “Jesus” answer, but it is much more. The only real answer for many of life’s questions is in the Character of God.

So how do we help students become more acquainted with God and trust Him with their hurts? Let me suggest five ways to help students deal with disappointment, pain and tragedy.

  1. Never apologize for God. Many times we “invent” our own version of God to protect His reputation. When we realize that God is God and live like it, our students will be more likely to follow our example.
  2. Take time to introduce your students to God. Obviously through salvation but also through examining His Attributes
  3. Make real life-application to the Attributes of God for the students
  4. Don’t avoid addressing the tragedies like Haiti, Chile or Uganda. Ignoring them will not make them go away..
  5. Help students internalize the truth about God’s character and learn to trust Him for Who He is, not just what He does.

Mike Calhoun is the author of The Greenhouse Project and you can read his blog at www.mikecalhoun.wol.org. For more information on this topic, visit the Where Was God When…? www.wherewasgod.wol.org


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