GUEST POST: How To Protect Your Spouse in Ministry

on January 16th, 2010

Being a pastor’s spouse is undoubtedly a difficult task. So I’ve learned a couple tricks along the way to protect my wife (and in turn, our marriage).

  1. “You are not expected to come”. My wife loves me, our church, and our ministry. But there’s a lot of stuff that goes on that I need to be at that she doesn’t. I need to let her know that she’s not expected to be at every event I am at. If I don’t, she’ll burnout quickly.
  2. “It’s not worth repeating”. Just like any workplace, there can be drama at the church office. So when I come home at night, I weigh what should or shouldn’t be reported. Sometimes news is news, and other times news is gossip. I try to keep the silly gossip out of the house.
  3. “I appreciate you”. My wife has three jobs, co-leads our youth worship team, co-leads our Sunday worship team, and helps me with our small group. Recognition and thanks can go a long way. My wife’s help is a privilege, not an entitlement.
  4. “Who you are is perfect”. Most pastor’s spouses’ struggle with their identity in this role. Affirmation in their calling helps filter out the unneeded expectations by churchgoers so they can become exactly who God intended them to be.
  5. “The power is off”. Ministry is ongoing and if we aren’t intentional, we’ll never get “us” time. So we shut off all electronics every night at 10pm (though we try to even sooner than that). Make sure that you are not distracted from your role as husband and wife.

Do you have any tricks you’d like to share?

Josh Herndon is a rookie youth pastor in El Sobrante, CA. He blogs at joshherndon.com and twitters @joshua_herndon.


View More: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Comment (1)

Deek Dubberly at 7:49am January 16

Don’t preach her your sermon for the week before or after the actual service. Let her hear it fresh and for the first time like everyone else. My wife’s told me she preferred not knowing my major points ahead of time.