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Helping Families Through Conflict
Saw a great post over on VolunteerYouthMinistry.com this week about helping families through conflict. Dennis has been posting some great stuff lately, here’s a clip, head there for the rest:
I’ve been working with a student who has lost his parents’ trust. He’s working hard to get back on the right path, but still has to work through the lingering consequences of his past choices and occasional slip-ups. Here are some ways I’m partnering with the family to work through their issues:
How I’ve counseled him:
1. Write a contract with your parents. Often we think of asking parents to write a contract to keep their kids in line. However, a student who is serious about repairing a relationship would do well to write a contract outlining specific benchmarks they can reach. This will show he is making a genuine effort to improve.
2. Stop pushing their buttons. This is a big issue in many relationships. The beauty of helping families resolve issues is that it gives you experience for future conflicts. In recent years, I’ve helped other families through conflict where intentionally hurt each other was a weapon of choice. Relationships won’t have peace until they stop destructive patterns. This may seem like a no-brainer to tell them to stop pushing each others’ buttons. However, unless somebody points out the pattern, they may not realize it’s happening. This is not an easy habit to break. I frequently challenge students to be the one to break this cycle of eye-for-an-eye relational combat.
JG
View More: relational ministry, relationships
